did you know i loved you before you were even a thought?
before the gentle breeze of motherhood swept aside me like a soothing river? before i felt the first power of your kick to my side?
dear daughter, you are loved.
---
it was not but weeks before your arrival that i feared my greatest love had been robbed of me. my desire for you was eternal, my want of you always. i had broken under the assumption i would never get to meet you. to kiss your face, to cradle you, to feel you. i had wept in solitude for a loss i had never had.
and then i felt the swell of my stomach, the strength of your growth. your first kick to my side aligned with my own heartbeat and i crumbled to the floor in tears of affection. i was to be a mother! oh, how i loved you.
dear daughter, you are wanted.
---
the days leading up to your birth were a testament to my love for you. there were moments where i did not wish myself to move, where i struggled to find the energy that you commanded. my health had faltered, but my affection for you never had.
i had crafted a den, but your will was that of the plains. i had tried to claw my way to the cover of isolation, but your power was that of the herd. my nails were bloodied and broken, my legs unsteady. i was afraid, my screams deafened me as the sky cast itself in a vibrance of scarlet and rum.
i sat in a puddle of blood, exhausted and fearful of shadowed thoughts clouding my mind. surrounded by the stomping of hooves that called out like war-drums, i shuddered at the sight of you. silent and still, so beautiful. you are so beautiful. i held my breath as i waited for you to gasp for air, my eyes stung as i held them open in fear of a blink to miss your awakening.
you cried. you cried. you cried. and i cried with you. the roar of hooves was not for war, but for celebration. you were part of the herd from the moment your lungs expanded with air, and as the sunrise kissed the sky in shades never more beautiful, i knew then you were perfect.
dear daughter, my @Anatolia, you have given me a gift so precious and pure. you have made me a mother, and i will love you for it, now and forever.
before the gentle breeze of motherhood swept aside me like a soothing river? before i felt the first power of your kick to my side?
dear daughter, you are loved.
---
it was not but weeks before your arrival that i feared my greatest love had been robbed of me. my desire for you was eternal, my want of you always. i had broken under the assumption i would never get to meet you. to kiss your face, to cradle you, to feel you. i had wept in solitude for a loss i had never had.
and then i felt the swell of my stomach, the strength of your growth. your first kick to my side aligned with my own heartbeat and i crumbled to the floor in tears of affection. i was to be a mother! oh, how i loved you.
dear daughter, you are wanted.
---
the days leading up to your birth were a testament to my love for you. there were moments where i did not wish myself to move, where i struggled to find the energy that you commanded. my health had faltered, but my affection for you never had.
i had crafted a den, but your will was that of the plains. i had tried to claw my way to the cover of isolation, but your power was that of the herd. my nails were bloodied and broken, my legs unsteady. i was afraid, my screams deafened me as the sky cast itself in a vibrance of scarlet and rum.
i sat in a puddle of blood, exhausted and fearful of shadowed thoughts clouding my mind. surrounded by the stomping of hooves that called out like war-drums, i shuddered at the sight of you. silent and still, so beautiful. you are so beautiful. i held my breath as i waited for you to gasp for air, my eyes stung as i held them open in fear of a blink to miss your awakening.
you cried. you cried. you cried. and i cried with you. the roar of hooves was not for war, but for celebration. you were part of the herd from the moment your lungs expanded with air, and as the sunrise kissed the sky in shades never more beautiful, i knew then you were perfect.
dear daughter, my @Anatolia, you have given me a gift so precious and pure. you have made me a mother, and i will love you for it, now and forever.
August 06, 2024, 12:06 PM
did you know you hold the keys to my heart?
there is no greater love than that which i hold for you. you have made me feel as a child once more, waiting for the gift they have desired for so long. oh how i have wanted you, oh how i have longed to meet you.
dear daughter, you are my treasure.
---
i counted down the days until i could meet you, to hold you close as i showered you in kisses of rich adoration. i felt as your strength grew in whole, as you fought amongst siblings to be firstborn.
you were a fighter from the moment you could wriggle. before air could fill your lungs and the scent of earth could greet you as i did, i knew you would be strong.
dear daughter, you are an inspiration.
---
so eager you were to greet the world with your roar, and yet it took the passing of a day to push you from the womb. tears stained my cheeks like flowing rivers as i forced myself to unsteady legs. pain crept like haggard fingers around my throat as i wailed through the fire that burned within me.
i crawled my way to the mouth of my whelping den, your sister grasped carefully as i turned to shrivel upon my side. help came in the sound of a familiar voice, but all my focus was upon you. my beloved, my precious, my sweet daughter.
the sun had risen to greet your sister, and now set to embrace you. i trembled under the thought we would not meet, that this would be the end for me, for you. i cried out in frustration and fear in my own lacking of strength. i could not force you from me, and you would not come.
i was afraid, but you were not. you knew your time to arrive, and as the last light danced upon the sky you pushed yourself free and welcomed the world with a mighty boom.
my daughter, my zephyra, you have taught me pain, you have taught me patience, and through both i am bound in love to you.
there is no greater love than that which i hold for you. you have made me feel as a child once more, waiting for the gift they have desired for so long. oh how i have wanted you, oh how i have longed to meet you.
dear daughter, you are my treasure.
---
i counted down the days until i could meet you, to hold you close as i showered you in kisses of rich adoration. i felt as your strength grew in whole, as you fought amongst siblings to be firstborn.
you were a fighter from the moment you could wriggle. before air could fill your lungs and the scent of earth could greet you as i did, i knew you would be strong.
dear daughter, you are an inspiration.
---
so eager you were to greet the world with your roar, and yet it took the passing of a day to push you from the womb. tears stained my cheeks like flowing rivers as i forced myself to unsteady legs. pain crept like haggard fingers around my throat as i wailed through the fire that burned within me.
i crawled my way to the mouth of my whelping den, your sister grasped carefully as i turned to shrivel upon my side. help came in the sound of a familiar voice, but all my focus was upon you. my beloved, my precious, my sweet daughter.
the sun had risen to greet your sister, and now set to embrace you. i trembled under the thought we would not meet, that this would be the end for me, for you. i cried out in frustration and fear in my own lacking of strength. i could not force you from me, and you would not come.
i was afraid, but you were not. you knew your time to arrive, and as the last light danced upon the sky you pushed yourself free and welcomed the world with a mighty boom.
my daughter, my zephyra, you have taught me pain, you have taught me patience, and through both i am bound in love to you.
August 06, 2024, 12:06 PM
i dreamed of the day i would meet you.
of the day i would feel your heartbeat against my chest. of the day your eyes opened, of the day you took your first steps. i dreamed because i did not think i would be blessed with such a reality, and yet here you grow in grace.
dear son, you are more perfect than what i could dream of.
---
each movement you made brought a smile to my face. each kick a reminder of my love for you. and on the days when i felt as if i could continue on no longer, you were there to listen to me voice my thoughts.
the gentle ebb of your paw to my side was more comfort to me than i had felt in a lifetime. you were with me and i with you. i could talk to you for hours and never grow bored.
dear son, you are irreplaceable.
---
your arrival was brought in by my cheers. the sun had blessed your sisters, but it was the moon who was here to swaddle you. your delivery was like a kiss from the wind, soft and ever flowing.
my precious boy, still as the stars in the night sky. you did not wail, you did not squirm, but the rise and fall of your tiny chest announced your vigor to the world. i pulled you near to me as i placed a million kisses to your crown. my beautiful boy, oh how i have loved nothing more than i love you.
dear son, my @Alasdair, you have brought a joy to my life i would not have found without you, to which i am so deeply in love.
of the day i would feel your heartbeat against my chest. of the day your eyes opened, of the day you took your first steps. i dreamed because i did not think i would be blessed with such a reality, and yet here you grow in grace.
dear son, you are more perfect than what i could dream of.
---
each movement you made brought a smile to my face. each kick a reminder of my love for you. and on the days when i felt as if i could continue on no longer, you were there to listen to me voice my thoughts.
the gentle ebb of your paw to my side was more comfort to me than i had felt in a lifetime. you were with me and i with you. i could talk to you for hours and never grow bored.
dear son, you are irreplaceable.
---
your arrival was brought in by my cheers. the sun had blessed your sisters, but it was the moon who was here to swaddle you. your delivery was like a kiss from the wind, soft and ever flowing.
my precious boy, still as the stars in the night sky. you did not wail, you did not squirm, but the rise and fall of your tiny chest announced your vigor to the world. i pulled you near to me as i placed a million kisses to your crown. my beautiful boy, oh how i have loved nothing more than i love you.
dear son, my @Alasdair, you have brought a joy to my life i would not have found without you, to which i am so deeply in love.
August 06, 2024, 10:08 PM
once, she had been the cause for simple discomfort.
then she had learned to kick, to shove. these actions done in the rhythm of a heartbeat she had come to call her own too. in sync with her mother by blood even if not by action or thought. she had not known it made her mother cry so fiercely, but this had become her way of assuring her.
i am alive, i am here.
she shared a heartbeat with her mother until the moment the world thundered with hoofbeats. upon the earth in the grass and blood, the very same way she might leave this earth one day. it was there she felt them. the herd started her heartbeat into the life her mother had delivered her into.
she wailed.
she learned to scream, to cry, to breathe here upon the earth.
the sun began to wrap the earth and the herd had welcomed the young into its extended family. her mother had welcomed her into the immediate family. it was exhaustive to be birthed into such a grand moment, to such loud celebrations of her arrival.
firstborn, blood of yellowstone.
she knew she would not be alone. she had not been alone in the womb and she would not be alone at her mother's side on the outside either.
yet she was without her siblings for hours.
in these moments she came to know her mother in the way only a newborn could. the touch of teeth, fur, tongue. the taste of milk and the rich scents of such a ceremonious day. then she knew — her. she had known her in the womb, now she knew her in their world. two were comfortable, content, sheltered safely.
they were missing something —
finally!
their mother had brought a brother to the sisters. whole, complete. anatolia felt peace that had not existed when she had been screaming at birth. the scent of siblings, the scent of mother. this may have not been where they had first come to know each other but it would be where their future was forged together.
pudgy and content, she shoved herself into her mother's side between siblings.
she would not remember these long hours in an even longer day, but she would remember the ones here forever.
then she had learned to kick, to shove. these actions done in the rhythm of a heartbeat she had come to call her own too. in sync with her mother by blood even if not by action or thought. she had not known it made her mother cry so fiercely, but this had become her way of assuring her.
i am alive, i am here.
she shared a heartbeat with her mother until the moment the world thundered with hoofbeats. upon the earth in the grass and blood, the very same way she might leave this earth one day. it was there she felt them. the herd started her heartbeat into the life her mother had delivered her into.
she wailed.
she learned to scream, to cry, to breathe here upon the earth.
the sun began to wrap the earth and the herd had welcomed the young into its extended family. her mother had welcomed her into the immediate family. it was exhaustive to be birthed into such a grand moment, to such loud celebrations of her arrival.
firstborn, blood of yellowstone.
she knew she would not be alone. she had not been alone in the womb and she would not be alone at her mother's side on the outside either.
yet she was without her siblings for hours.
in these moments she came to know her mother in the way only a newborn could. the touch of teeth, fur, tongue. the taste of milk and the rich scents of such a ceremonious day. then she knew — her. she had known her in the womb, now she knew her in their world. two were comfortable, content, sheltered safely.
they were missing something —
finally!
their mother had brought a brother to the sisters. whole, complete. anatolia felt peace that had not existed when she had been screaming at birth. the scent of siblings, the scent of mother. this may have not been where they had first come to know each other but it would be where their future was forged together.
pudgy and content, she shoved herself into her mother's side between siblings.
she would not remember these long hours in an even longer day, but she would remember the ones here forever.
August 20, 2024, 10:50 AM
she had been a dream once, nothing more than a far thought cast to a large ocean of rushing waves. yet she grew now, floating in the sea she had known the entire length of her small life. there were two others here beside her, two others to keep her company. and with them she dreamed.
she knew nothing of life, but she could dream of the vast stars. she could not hear, but the sound of waves crashing along the shoreline rang in her ears all the same. each kick to her mother's side a paddle in the depths of the ocean.
but then came the storm, and torn from her was the body she knew as sister. the contractions pushed the girl towards her fate but she would not go. the ocean sung it's goodbye, and as the water turned to a cool air zephyra filled her lungs for the first time.
a cry for her mother, a cry for her sister, and as the night set, a cry for her brother who joined them in celebration. she drunk herself to a dream once more, the first of many to lull her to sleep.
she knew nothing of life, but she could dream of the vast stars. she could not hear, but the sound of waves crashing along the shoreline rang in her ears all the same. each kick to her mother's side a paddle in the depths of the ocean.
but then came the storm, and torn from her was the body she knew as sister. the contractions pushed the girl towards her fate but she would not go. the ocean sung it's goodbye, and as the water turned to a cool air zephyra filled her lungs for the first time.
a cry for her mother, a cry for her sister, and as the night set, a cry for her brother who joined them in celebration. she drunk herself to a dream once more, the first of many to lull her to sleep.
September 02, 2024, 08:07 PM
Life was an ebb and flow of simplistic comfort. A belly was full—never wondering what it felt or meant to be hungry, as he remained connected in the most intimate of ways with another being. The sense of others wasn’t a forefront of his mind, nor an understanding, but they offered him comfort in the womb—something he only realized when they had begun to slip away.
It wouldn’t be anything to dwell on or remember—distress came in the wake of his sisters leaving their cocoon, and when it was his time to flourish, comfort was restored once more by the radiating love of his mother and siblings.
He did not fuss. The tiniest mewling noise might have escaped the last born before he was lovingly settled next to his sisters and to the warmth and promise of milk.
Cleaned—fed—lulled to sleep once more by the familiarity that he was once more cocooned and so easily accepting that this was now how it was—Alasdair was once more asleep in moments, born beneath the soft glow of the silver moon.
It wouldn’t be anything to dwell on or remember—distress came in the wake of his sisters leaving their cocoon, and when it was his time to flourish, comfort was restored once more by the radiating love of his mother and siblings.
He did not fuss. The tiniest mewling noise might have escaped the last born before he was lovingly settled next to his sisters and to the warmth and promise of milk.
Cleaned—fed—lulled to sleep once more by the familiarity that he was once more cocooned and so easily accepting that this was now how it was—Alasdair was once more asleep in moments, born beneath the soft glow of the silver moon.
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