Silvertip Mountain Nothing I've ever known

Read-Only because Zaria would probably not share it with anyone.

Zaria wasn't better off than the rest of the pack's adults. Zaria's body was struggling after childbirth, and the aftermath with the lack of food. Her pups had long stopped nursing but a lot of her nutrients went into that milk, and now, with them eating regurgitated meat she did not get much nutrients either. Her small frame showed her hip bones and a ragged coat. She did not sport the sleek coat she had before. Zaria trotted up the mountain. She knew that she should be hunting for her young, but finding the food was so difficult.

She had too much on her mind. Fitz had left her. Her. How dare he. He had not even told her he had been ill. The male had also promised that she would not have to do this alone, and here she was. Though in one thing he had been right, she was one caring mother for her young. She would rather die herself then fail and let them die. She liked to think that she trotted in a steady pace of the mountain, something she had not done ever before, but her pace was barely a trot. The skinny female was panting heavily while she climbed higher. Dorthran wolves buried their wolves so they were closer to the sky, and she knew that some others spoke about wolves going to the sky. She had to talk to him. She needed her Fitz.

Zaria realized that the trees were getting smaller, and there were becoming less and less frequent. She had never gone this high. For her this meant she was becoming closer to the sacred grounds. The female felt herself getting dizzy, yet she continued. Pushing her body further. Her eyes needed to adjust, there was something reflecting the light up ahead. Something white. She realized what it must be. Snow. Fitz loved snow. Zaria rushed forward and let her body stumble down in the soft and cool snow. How she hated the snow, yet Fitz had loved it. She linked the snow to Fitz, and his happiness. Instantly the female broke down. How had she started to care for the male? Tears ran down her fur into the snow.

"I miss you so much. Why did you leave me," she let out. If other had seen her then they might have thought that she was crazy. She choked in gasps of air. It was not a good spot to cry your heart out when there was a lack of oxygen. Zaria couldn't help it. She kept on crying. She could not do this. She didn't want to go on like this, but she had a responsibly now. She had those four young and they still needed her. Those damn pups. She wanted to hate them. She liked to think it was their fault that their father died, but she knew it was not. They had not been close to him when he died. Zaria was not really sure what was happening to her. At first she would do anything to rule, but now Fitz died it brought new things in perspective. "I don't want to be queen anymore. Not if you aren't my king," she let out between her sobs. "I want you to come back! You need to come back down and love me. I demand you to come back!," she now cried out.

Her lungs hurt with screaming and the lack of air. She felt even more dizzy and placed her head down. Fitz had to hear her right? How could he not respond to this call. It had been her last hope. She did not want to accept his death, ever. To make matters even worse life had given her a difficult time to raise her children with the lack of food. Her vision became blurry, and with one last heart wrenching cry for Fitz to come back the female passed out, weakened by the lack of food. She fainted with her emotions and lack of air combined. She was a plains wolf, not one that was used to mountains.

It didn't take her long to wake up again, feeling worse than before. Her green eyes looked up at the clear blue skies. Her eyes instantly welling up with tears again. Maybe she should let Mason take over. Zaria vanity had been pushed down by her loss of her mate. All her self centric thoughts were on hold. She was never going to get over this. She could not continue like this. Her heart was broken and empty. Her determination not to fail with these pups was what kept her running around and looking for food. Her life was over, how could she continue living if Fitz was not there? She looked down at the snow, her mind picturing Fitz before her. But imagination could only do so much. Her eyes looked down at the landscape before her, the mountain and the flatlands before her. Zaria's eyes suddenly became more focussed. An idea sprang to mind.

If he didn't came back to her, she would go back to him. She would continue to battle, continue to raise these pups and once they were old enough that they would not need she was going after her mate. She could not see how she could be happy otherwise. With this new found plan, Zaria looked up at the sky once more. "I will follow you." Her new plan. Her new secret plan.