Blackfeather Woods Because I'm a toy, toy

Backdated to December 17th. Tagging @Potema, but anyone can pop in!

Over a month had passed since he’d met Miraak, whose words had encouraged the yearling to continue through life. There was much that he could do, still, and the reminder of that had been the push that he’d needed to get the ball rolling. Whilst the majority of his time had gone into patrolling the grove, he’d started broadening his travel zone as of late. He’d found that he wanted to see more, to forget the past and fill his head with good memories, but it hadn’t been as easy as he had hoped it’d be. For though he’d found a way to perk up a bit, the realization that both Ocra and Sriracha had become scarce recently had made him fall back with his progress. With an unsettled feeling in his stomach, he’d assumed the worst and departed from the grove that morning, heading towards Blackfeather.

During his journey, he’d thought about the duo, as well as about where they might be lurking. With all the words they had used to fill his head, he hadn’t wanted to believe that they could possibly be gone, and so he’d told himself right away that he would return to the grove to search for them. First, however, came his visit to the woods, where he hoped to find Miraak—or anyone, really, just as long as it wasn’t Cicero. At the thought of running into his attacker, Xan had needed to take a moment in order to recollect his bearings, then continued towards the forest’s edge. It'd been a short ways off from it that he’d eventually stopped, hesitant, but knowing that he’d already come too far to turn back. So, with a tilt of his head, he had announced himself to the wolves of the woods.

She had been sleeping as of late, conserving energy for the moment which was coming so quickly now. To say that she was frightened was an understatement. After watching her mother pass so soon after giving birth, and knowing how often women died during the process, Potema felt a knot in her stomach with every passing day that had little to do with the pups kicking inside her womb. She stayed near the Glen as often as she could, stocking her nest with herbs, pelts, whatever she thought would be necessary to bring her through it. Nemesis had lived through her children's birth, but Nemesis was stronger than she, a warrior. Potema's fights were of the mind, not of the body. She felt unprepared, and most of all, alone. Nemesis had some hatred for her children that she only attributed to jealously. Cicero was distant, as he always was. And Damien was gone. Damien, the one who so fervently pushed her to bear children for the Dark Brotherhood, was gone. That put a sour taste in her mouth. 

Her latest nap did not last her long. After a few moments of settling into her little nest, Potema was jolted awake. A howl. She paused and listened to it, staving off sleep to see if it was of any import. Her eye widened as she recognized the voice: Xan. She looked to her belly, nervous, remembering their coupling nine weeks back. She doubted that one of them were his, but he did not know she was pregnant in the first place. The witch lingered for a moment, breathing softly, quarrelling with herself in her mind until she finally hefted herself up and lumbered to the borders.

Xan, She called to him softly before she revealed herself, stomach and all. She exited the pale shadows of the Woods and sat before him, tail curled around her legs, her stomach visibly moving — so close to birth she was. Have you come back for good?

Being so close to the woods made him nervous, especially since he knew not which member might greet him. Troubled, Xan hadn’t been able to sit still at all, pacing back and forth until a voice caught his attention. Hearing his name on her tongue had brought him to a stop, head turning to face the pale princess. At first, he hadn’t noticed her swollen stomach. His eyes had gone straight up to her face, relieved to see her instead of Cicero. Turning fully, he’d taken a step towards her, then stopped once he’d finally observed the entirety of the scene before him. With her sitting down, her stomach seemed even larger, leaving him at a loss for words. She was pregnant, that much was obvious, but who was the father? Was it him? Shaking his head, Alexander attempted to rid his mind of such thoughts. She had been far from the woods when they’d last seen one another, so she must have run into some other males whilst out. The likelihood of him being the father was low—nonexistent actually, but he didn’t know that—but that hadn’t made it any easier to relax.

Absentmindedly, he’d answered her question with a simple, “No.” His eyes lingered on her abdomen until he shook his head, then forced his gaze back up to meet her's. Clearing his throat, he further clarified by saying, “I’m not staying, just passing through.” The reason behind his journey didn’t seem to matter anymore, especially since he couldn’t even remember it. His thoughts were elsewhere, distracted by his discovery. “They aren’t mine, right?” he asked suddenly, unable to restrain himself. If they were his, then what did that mean? He couldn’t stay in the woods, it wasn’t his home anymore. Yet, if children were involved, would he have any other choice but to hang around?

She eventually had to lay down, the weight of her nearly born pups pulling hard on her body. She was full of aches and pains like this, especially in winter. But she was far from the Keep now, away from the herbs that could help her, she was in no position to wear herself out. The witch laid on her side, her rounded stomach and full teats exposed to Xan; she was in no position to be ashamed.

He was not returning, which was unfortunate, but not surprising. It would be nice to know that they had enough wolves to support the new pups. But it could not be helped. Cicero's actions prevented Xan from ever returning to Blackfeather Woods. 

I doubt it, She responded, looking down at her stomach as she felt one of them move towards Xan. He was too young to be potent.

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As she laid down, his gaze trailed after her body and then along it. In the back of his mind, a voice nagged at him to look away, but he was unable to do so. Seeing just how swollen she was had captivated him, for it seemed impossible. For a body to grow so large without splitting in two didn’t seem right, but he tried to refrain from questioning it. Instead, every ounce of his strength went into forcing his eyes back up towards her face, wanting to stare at her underside no longer; yet, at the same time, that was all he wanted to do. It was quite the dilemma for him but, thankfully, the issue had been resolved with her answer: the children likely weren’t his. A relieved sigh fell from his mouth, along with a breathy, “Good.” He could not imagine becoming a father—not then nor ever—having felt that it would then lead to the loss of his freedom. Being weighed down by children and the responsibilities that came with raising them wasn’t something that he was particularly interested in, and wondered if he ever would be.

After glancing downwards he noticed her stomach move and his nose scrunched him, a disgusted look having flashed across his features before shifting to something that resembled curiosity. Perking his ears, he took a step towards her, only to stop and drag his gaze away from her abdomen again so that he could look her in the eye. “How does it feel?” he asked, elaborating a beat later as he added, “When they move, I mean.” Pregnancy as a whole and the feelings that came with it wasn’t something that Xan felt like learning about, but, after seeing what he had, he was somewhat curious about the feeling of something moving around inside of her.

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His eyes wandered throughout her body, but she did not feel shame or embarrasment for it. It was strange to see a body balloon as hers did, though she knew her body was not as large as others had been. She still did not know how many there were inside her, but she guessed at least two and as much as six. She too is glad that Xan did not sire one of her pups; he did not need anything else to tie him onto the pack, where her brother's corrupted spirit stalked.

I can't explain it, She admitted, rolling over onto her back, the weight instantly pressing onto her spine. She ooph'd as one kicked roughly. It almost feels like a stomachache? A moving, living pit in the stomach. As if I swallowed a fish alive, She chuckles, still unsure how to describe the feeling such to a man, one who would never feel it in all of his life. I can hear their heartbeats, She beckoned to him with her paw, inviting him to come and feel.

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The worry once felt, of whether or not he’d be drawn back to the woods, faded more and more each time they exchanged words. By the time she had begun her explanation, the feeling had evaporated fully, leaving him with nothing to experience other than his own curiosity. Never before had Alexander seriously wondered about bodies, having always been content with the simple knowledge of when it required food, rest, or any other basic necessities. Pregnancy had, most definitely, never crossed his mind—not even for a second. The fact that he could never fall pregnant left him without the need, as well as the desire, to learn how it felt or what risks came with it. But now, as he stared at the stomach of someone he had known for a large portion of his life, he couldn’t help but ask the questions that he would never have imagined himself to inquire about.

With Potema on her back, he fell into a trance-like state as he admired her underside. The flicker of movement—her paw as it beckoned him—had nearly been missed, and would have had it not been for his nerves forcing him to seek out with his eyes anything that twitched. It was with a great deal of hesitance that he crept closer to her, stopping just as his nose poked her side. He hadn’t a chance to wait and feel for a kick before pulling his head back and looking towards her face, searching for any signs that the touch might have caused her pain. He paused, then, ears back as he waited to see if he had done something wrong. Xan didn’t want to hurt her, the sensitivity of an occupied womb being yet another thing that he knew absolutely nothing about.

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