Swiftcurrent Creek I'll jump right in and pull my pin

vday thread for karen <3

Snow slowly collected on the tips of his inky coat as he followed the river back towards his den. Again, he held a freshly-killed hare between his teeth, caught specifically for @Alessia. Her abdomen only continued to grow, and every day he grew more curious about the children that developed there. He was excited to meet the pups despite everything that had brought he and his new mate here. They--Alessia and the pups--were what kept him from letting the guilt and grief consume him completely; Kavik knew he needed to be here for them, but he also found that he wanted to be here for them. 

He stopped walking for a few minutes, setting the hare down in the snow and moving to the edge of the water. His gaze searched the trees around him briefly before he lowered his head to drink. When he had taken in his fill of the icy liquid, he lifted his head once more, licking his lips as he stepped back from the water. He moved back over to the rabbit, shaking out his coat before gathering the meal between his teeth once more and resuming his pace.

bit of pp, let me know if it's not okay ❤

Her own thoughts are, unfortunately, not as bright or hopeful as Kavik's today. There are days when she thinks that she feels a little more stable, when she thinks that maybe she can actually do this — and then there are days like this one. She hasn't even found the will to leave the den except briefly for certain necessities, choosing instead to isolate herself even from Kavik as much as she can. Though she tries to be kind to her mate when she can, there are frequently times when she needs to withdraw into herself; times when the melancholy becomes too suffocating, the self-hatred too stinging, the grief too bitter. It's a burden she knows she must bear alone, no matter how exhausting she finds it.
So when he arrives with a hare dangling from his jaws, the most she's able to offer him is a tired smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Her expression is grateful, though, and she reaches for the creature as soon as it's offered to her. Before she can tear into it, though, something stops her — a strange, slightly alarming sensation in her abdomen. Like something fluttering against her skin from the inside, poking her — or perhaps kicking —
Kicking. She freezes, gaze flitting to her mate. Kavik — they're kicking, Her voice is hushed and a little disbelieving, as she still can't quite grasp it herself. The feeling stops almost as soon as she speaks, but it only takes a few beats for her to feel it again. Her ears twitch slightly at the sensation, and she can't help but turn her gaze to her belly. There's nothing to be seen at the surface, not yet — but she feels it more clearly than she's ever felt anything.

Even if he had not picked up her scent near his den, he would have been almost sure that he would find her there; Alessia had been spending most of her time there lately. At first he though maybe she was tired or not feeling well, but he hadn't missed the defeated look she wore too often or the way she seemed to just lack even the energy to do the simplest things. Kavik was beginning to grow worried, but he feared bringing it up might make things worse, so instead he just tried to make sure she had plenty to eat and support free from the questions that sat in his mind and fed his anxiety. 

She gave him a weak smile as he entered the den but gladly took the meal he brought, which gave him some relief. He watched her move to start eating but freeze, and he grew concerned that maybe she had suddenly grown too nauseous to eat. But then she was speaking, and he froze as well. Kicking? he said quietly, taking a seat in front of her. What does it feel like? Can you tell how many are doing it? The questions came quickly before he could stop them, his excitement clear. Before now, the only proof they had that the children were doing okay inside her was the continued growing of her belly, but the kicking made them even more real. He wanted to meet them so badly. He suddenly wished he could feel them kicking too, but he knew that was impossible. That didn't dampen his spirits, though. He watched his mate stare at her belly for a second before his own gaze drifted there, taking in every detail as if he might be able to see even the smallest hint of movement.

His questions come quickly, rapid-fire but quiet, and she can't help the soft laugh that slips from her as she glances back to him. The feeling stops again as she does, though she assumes it will be back soon. No, I can't tell how many are kicking, She says first, eyes sparkling faintly with a light that hasn't graced them in some time. It feels... strange. It isn't painful.
As predicted, the odd fluttering feeling begins again a moment later. Her ear flicks again at the feeling, and she hesitates a beat before adding more softly: Maybe you could... feel it too. Here, She gestures with her muzzle to where it feels strongest, though the kicking is beginning to settle again. It sort of... comes and goes. She murmurs, wondering if the puppies are done for the day — it seems an awful lot of activity to her. Though, considering her luck, she wouldn't be very surprised if they decided to practice gymnastics in the womb for the rest of the pregnancy.

A small, almost shy smile appeared on his face at her laugh, the sound lightening his mood further. He listened silently while Alessia explained how the kicking felt and that she was unable to tell how many were doing it, gaze flicking between her and her round abdomen as she spoke. At her next words, his eyes stopped on her face, surprise widening them a little. I would really like that, he replied, slowly moving closer. He had just assumed he wouldn't be able to feel the kicking from the outside, but if she was willing to let him try, then he would happily accept. Still moving slowly, he slid into a lying position next to her and somewhat hesitantly moved to rest his head on the area of her stomach that she had pointed out. Careful not apply all of the weight from his head on her, he settled and waited, remaining as still as possible so that he wouldn't accidentally miss it. He wasn't even sure what it would feel like from the outside, but he really hoped he could feel something. A few moments passed in silence as he waited, and Kavik started to wonder if maybe they were done kicking for now. He was about to say as much, but he froze just as his mouth opened. He suddenly felt a very faint tapping right under his muzzle. Did they just start again? he asked, looking to Alessia excitedly, hoping her answer would be yes.

Though she hadn't considered it very carefully at first, watching his hesitance as he moves reminds her of the strangeness of inviting his touch. The offer had seemed natural to her in the moment, and still does in some sense; he is the father of her children, part of the life growing inside of her. He has a right to experience as much as he can of their development, and this is a belief she holds firmly. Still... it is her body that he is touching, and while the experience is hardly new to either of them, it is something of a first; she can't recall accepting his touch without the influence of heat or overwhelming emotion before now.
She fights the urge to tense as he lays his head on her belly, suddenly hyper-aware of how odd it feels (not least because it's a rather sensitive area). Instead she turns her focus to thoughts of the pups, gaze drifting from Kavik's face to her own abdomen. The sight of it still causes her heart to drop slightly, swollen as she's become, but her thoughts are elsewhere now. The fluttering returns not a moment later, but before she can even open her mouth, Kavik is speaking. A smile tugs at her features as her gaze returns to him, and she nods, watching his reaction with a slight fondness to her expression.

She nodded in response to his question, and almost instantly his chest tightened with an almost overwhelming feeling of love. He hadn't even met them yet, but somehow he already knew he would do anything for their children. He gently rested his head on her abdomen once more, keeping it there for a little longer until the feeling disappeared. Remaining in his place next to her, Kavik withdrew his touch, feeling like he probably had no reason to keep his head there any longer. That was... he started, unable to find the right words. Thank you, he said quietly. He knew she didn't have to let him take part in moments like these. He certainly didn't deserve her continued kindness regarding the whole situation, but he was definitely more than grateful.

She should feel some sort of happiness, watching his expression fill with love for their children, but the sight only inspires heaviness in her own heart. Her smile fades, and she glances away. Guilt flashes through her at the thought, but she can't shake the feeling that this is all wrong. There is something so uniquely, indescribably cold in sharing this tender moment with a relative stranger. She'd always imagined reaching these milestones with a lover, a true partner. But she knows she can't linger on such thoughts now. So when he pulls away and her gaze returns to his features, she forces her expression into another faint smile. Of course, She murmurs, turning back to the hare he'd brought and adding: Thank you for the hare. Suddenly she isn't feeling very hungry, but she forces herself to start on the meal anyway, hyper-aware of her need to keep herself strong for the children inside of her. Most days she feels they are the only reason she has any worth at all.

She offered a small smile and unnecessarily thanked him for the food he had brought her. Kavik dipped his head, a smile forming on his own face. Completely unaware of the thoughts inside his mates head, he rested his muzzle on his front legs, eyes occasionally moving to Alessia as she ate. His thoughts briefly drifted to Liri and how he should be expecting their children this spring but as usual, he tried not to dwell on that too much; it didn't make him feel any better, and he would love the the pups all the same. Things would certainly be less tense and sad, but he had decided weeks ago that he would try and make the best out of the situation. It was honestly all he could really do now; he obviously couldn't change the past, and at least their children would bring them some happiness. And he and Alessia didn't hate each other thankfully, well she didn't seem to hate him anyway. They had formed something resembling a bond over their situation, at least he felt like they kind of had, and he hoped that meant eventually they could all be happy.