Arrow Lake strode through the gates, defiant in every stride
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blodreina, for all her stubbornness, realizes that her time until she gave birth was waning and though she loathes the idea of being trapped underground she takes the afternoon — overcast and drizzling lightly on and off — away from her waddling and marking along the borders to begin the grueling search for prime baby birthing real estate. the truth was, she has no idea what she's looking for ...what she should want or what even made a practical birthing den. she tries to call back to when she was a cub but that was so long ago now and her memories of that time were long gone. so, she starts with the basics: somewhere as close to the middle of the territory as she could find; she sticks to the heart of arrow lake, and already peeked in and turned her nose up at a few abandoned fox dens. someplace secluded: she isn't going to want a lot of thru traffic because she gets prickly and she has a feeling her prickly personality is going to hit extreme when she has helpless newborns to protect.

she knows her history with being trapped in small spaces, thanks to her previous experiences with claustrophobia. though she tries to assure herself that maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she fears. she did alright when she'd been trapped with @Ingram *insert smirk emoji here*. someplace with a lot of space. enough for her, for the babes to grow and tumble around in until it was time to move them to a rendezvous den, and ingram, she assumes ( if he wants, they didn't talk that specific yet ). and so far, it sounded like a pretty solid foundation to start with, she thinks — but she's inevitably faced with the unwelcome realization that she doesn't know what she's doing and she's just pulling from her common sense hoping that it's enough to balance out her complete and utter inexperience in the motherhood department.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
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ingram was also an inexperienced mother - for the crucial fact that he lacked both the parts (spare and otherwise) to do anything but sire. he'd never been a father before either, and the realization it will be soon (and he will be involved) had ingram's stupid little heart aflutter with anxiety. at least, the good kind.

he followed after blodreina at a careful distance, at first not sure what she was doing. the longer he trailed her, the more apparent it became she was searching for something suitable to whelp in. ingram, not wanting to appear too clingy, had done his best to not be overbearing to blodreina, but at that moment he couldn't help but show himself. "can i help?" ingram chirped, his gaze hopeful and tail lightly a-sway.
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blodreina looks up and over her shoulder from her mission at the sound of approaching footfalls that are accompanied by ingram's question. she feels her cheeks warm and her tail gives a few happy sways; both to communicate that she's happy to see him and glad that he wants to help. it served to reinforce to her that he truly wanted to be involved ...which was extremely admirable considering the life in her womb were a product of a one night stand. he could've gotten off so easily, if he'd have wanted to — though nothing he'd told her during their days and nights trapped together suggested that he was that kind of man. still. ingram wanting to be involved means something to her.

of course. blodreina invites. this whole motherhood thing is new, and a little terrifying. so i'm not really sure what i should be looking for aside from what i think sounds like a good foundation: somewhere well protected, maybe close to the lake but not too close, the pups wouldn't stay immobile forever and she didn't want to have to worry whether they'd accidentally drown in the lake. it has to be spacious. enough room for me, for the pups to grow and you if you want to stay with us, she searches his expression then before continuing on with her list. maybe someplace secluded? i'm bound to get pretty aggressive if there are a lot of wolves walking by the den at any given time. both on the merit of being a protective mother and being grumpy from having to deal with her claustrophobia.

i don't know, she sighs, wondering if she's being one of those mega-picky, impossible to please people on HGTV's House Hunters. maybe i'm being too picky. but this was why she started now. nothing said she had to stay in the den until she started to go into labor, after all.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
— your hands are wet with the blood
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you're going to keep my soul,
it was yours to have long ago
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blodreina's acceptance of his presence, which could have been noticed as welcoming, made ingram's heart skip; he had to focus on not letting his legs skip too, as he thoughtfully trailed behind her.

truth be told, ingram thought it was he that was lucky. he had been the dick (no pun intended) to get her pregnant, and by all accounts, was owed nothing while she was owed the world; he felt he had saddled her with an enormous burden, and was relieved that so far, it didn't seem blodreina resented him for it. (let's wait until she gets to the whole nursing phase, and realizes much like ingram's mother did, that a huge part of your self-esteem was somehow tied into the welfare of your nips)

somewhere well-protected and secluded sounded like a good start to ingram, though he had to spare a quiet laugh at blodreina being aggressive. he could very well envision the unholy terror she was capable of inflicting on any passerby that strayed to close. for all of their sakes, somewhere secluded sounded very good.

ingram didn't feel he knew enough about blodreina's tastes in dens to offer much advice, but he did recall from the cave that she was not a wolf fond of tight quarters. "well.. when you close your eyes and think of a den, what do you imagine?" depending on her answer they could start from there, and then work their way outward.
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blodreina does as he suggests, closing her eyes and trying to imagine a den. at first, she doesn't. it's hard to make herself imagine what her perfect den would be when, for as long as she could remember, she hasn't ever had one. she found shelter against the worst of the weather but she preferred the night sky to hard earth that could potentially crumble in on her and kill her while she slept. she frowns, then, because that was unhelpful. this wasn't about her and what she did and didn't like. she had to have a birthing den — someplace safe and warm.

so, she tries harder ( her scrunched up facial expressions had to be pretty amusing ). in the end she keeps picturing something closer to what hougeda had been — though preferably without tunnels that could lead cubs to their potential death. which ended up looking something a lot like the small space they'd been trapped in during the storm. maybe something like we'd taken shelter in during the storm. it'd have to be bigger, but that's not an issue. i've got some time to renovate before they're due. she opens her eyes and gives him a sheepish look.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
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you're going to keep my soul,
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ingram couldn't help but close his eyes too, thinking of the grotto and then later, keokuk glade. the two dens had been very different in atmosphere -- the grotto was immeasurably big and full of thousands of tunnels to explore, but it was also dangerous. he suddenly didn't like the grotto much, as he thought of all the places a puppy could perish.

keokuk glade's den had been a small enclave of much more modest means, but it had overlooked a flat expanse of prairie that had been tranquil and idyllic. as he opened his eyes, he caught blodreina's scrunched up expression. he could not help the grin that split his features as she concentrated --  when she opened her eyes he glanced away quickly so she would not see that he had been (admiringly) staring at her.

"i think we could manage something like that." he announced, drawing his nose along the ground. "i think that was an old badger den, or something. for terrible creatures, they do seem to have good taste in housing arrangements." with that, ingram started to walk off, scenting the air as he went.
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blodreina feels a bit of relief when ingram announces that he thought they could manage something like that — she takes it as private confirmation that she's not being too impossible as she'd first feared. it'd be simpler, she thinks, if she regularly used a den or had any kind of clue on how to be a mother. she's not often so insecure but as her due date ticks nearer every once in a while she has to swallow down the bubble of insecurity that rises and with it the ultimate question: what if i'm not good at it? chases around and around in her head. to say that motherhood was her dream would be a blatant lie. her dream had been to be the ultimate dragedan warrior ...but life wasn't ever predictable and she'd been honest with ingram when she'd told him she didn't regret him or their children growing within her womb.

she lets out a soft laugh at his comment about badgers as she follows after him, realizing that though she'd heard about them she doesn't think she'd ever seen one before. well, hey. every terrible creature has to have something they're extraordinary at to balance out all that aggression. she speaks with amused matter-of-fact. she tries to mask the heavier breaths she has to take every now and then, still not used to and kinda resenting the lack of mobility she has. it's a universal fact. spoken from experience despite the buoyancy her tone carries with it.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
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you're going to keep my soul,
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ingram laughed alongside blodreina, slowing his pace so that she could easily match him. it must be hard, he thought, to carry new life around with you -- what was as easy as a walk in the woods must be incredibly taxing when whelps are leeching the life from you. it's a sentiment that he's surprised to feel so strongly about -- where had it come from?

"is that right?" ingram glanced at the wanlida sidelong, a grin edging his darkened lips. "and what, pray tell, are wolves extraordinary at?" he had his own ideas, but relished the chance to hear hers.

pausing long enough to obtain an answer, ingram resumed his search after blodriena's explanation., keeping his nose to the ground. he sussed through old scents of barley and hare, of moist earth and moss, damp leaves -- no sign of badger, but he's none the less dissuaded as he went.
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blodreina looks to him with a small smirk at his inquiry. in truth, she'd been speaking about herself but realizes that when she has to respond that her answer isn't very in-depth. she's good at one thing ( or so she believes ) and one thing only and that's war. blodreina was a nickname given to her by one of her younger sisters jokingly when she'd returned to sangeda with the others, covered in the blood of the commander's enemies and she'd kept it ...because it was true ( the blood part, anyway ); and she clung so fiercely to wanlida — bringer of death — because it the rank she'd spent all of her life working towards. it was apart of her identity and to let go of it felt like stripping away everything she is.

well i can only speak for myself, she begins, salmon pink tongue drawing across her jowls. but i'm an extraordinary warrior. she considers it for a moment before adding. ...which probably doesn't cancel out the aggression, now that i think about it. said with another soft laugh. although, during her brief stint as fleimkepa she'd considered trying her hand at counseling ...even though that was kind of laughable at the time ( maybe it still is, who knows? ).
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trigedasleng
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ingram kept one ear turned back as he scented through the grass for blodreina's answer. so far he'd only managed to detect the scents of lesser animals - mice, squirrels, chipmunks. nothing screamed badger just yet.

blodreina shared she was an extraordinary warrior. to some, the phrase may have sounded boastful -- but ingram knew blodreina's words to have some merit. one only need look at a wolf like her, and come to the conclusion easily that she had seen (and survived) several harsh fights in her time.

"good, i'm gonna need all the protection i can get." ingram quipped, his tail wagging merrily behind him. "but if i suppose it's you that goes after me, i'm screwed." he shrugged carelessly, a jovial grin hanging off his dark gums as he dove down the descent of a gradually sloped dell.
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blodreina lets out a soft snicker at imrathil's words, a crooked grin tugging at the edges of her lips. it's probably a blessing to everyone that my fighting days are pretty much over for a while, and perhaps that caused a swell of depression in her. she was a warrior first and foremost — but now that wasn't true anymore. she was a mother first and foremost ...and she had a great responsibility to protect the life in her womb even if it meant curbing the worst of her aggression and choosing her battles. the hardest choice was over, as far as she was concerned, leaving drageda and allowing them ...some of the wolves not even born into the culture to call her natrona. if she was a traitor for putting the safety of the lives within her womb first then so be it. at least gyda would understand.

as long as her parents — but mostly her mother didn't hate her — then that was all she needed. everyone else she'd cared about from that time in her life was, put bluntly, dead. don't worry, i'll protect you. she affirms with a waggle of her brows even if it goes unseen by her beau. i gotta say, a soft huff leaves the wanlida's lips as they begin down a gradual slope. i feel bad because until i can fight again i'm pretty much useless to diaspora. and they've been very generous to her all things considered.
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trigedasleng
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they shared a grin as they went, ingram nosing along the ground in intent. there was a scent just on the cusp of his nose — he followed it all the while a single ear turned back to hear blodreina’s words. 

jest as it was, ingram was bolstered by her promise to protect him. he knew he could be pathetic — but knowing she had his back was empowering. he glanced from the ground he was inspecting, a grin curling his gums. nonsense, you’re contributing more than the rest of us can. he commented, drawing a paw across a hole he had just found. new life is important in packs. it helps us grow. brings us closer together. he kept prodding the hole as he went, wondering if it was badger or fox. have you thought of a name yet?
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blodreina gives a thoughtful twitch of her ear as ingram assures her that carrying and then bringing forth new life was plenty of contribution. she doesn't necessarily agree — her idea of contributing is much more than just growing and then pushing new life from her body ...but she eventually relents to a non-verbal agreement with his words. new life was important to a pack and it wasn't like pups stayed small and helpless forever. they, too, would reach a point where they could contribute. doesn't feel like i'm doing that much. but that was likely because she'd gone from being super active to a serious decrease of activity and had serious limitations put on what she could do.

i was thinking maybe we could name one praimfaya, she laughs softly. it is fierce in both sound and meaning. 'face-melting death' is roughly what it translates to. maybe she wasn't the best at this baby naming thing ...but in her defense it's not like she'd ever considered the day she'd have to pick out names for her babes. her smirk turns to a wistful sigh then. i like ragnilde, too. sort of a nod to my family line, i suppose. his name was ragnar and my mother — his daughter — adored him. she explains. it was almost weird, she thinks, how she has more or less stepped into gyda's pawprints left behind ...without the title. are there any names you like? she asks him, then, valuing both him and any name suggestions he might have to offer.
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trigedasleng
— your hands are wet with the blood
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you're going to keep my soul,
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blodreina felt as if she was doing little; any counterpoints ingram had to say otherwise had already been spoken. he had to simply accept, that for a woman used to being capable and unrestrained by any tether, this was her new contribution. 

he kept prying at the hole, noticing part of the dale in which it was situated faced the east. tracing along the spine of a slight ridge, ingram discovered the hole was connected to an old warren. while he heaved soil from the slender hollow, he listened to the names blodreina procured. he believed one of the names was in drageda’s tongue — both were names with gravitas his own language did not possess. certainly the first was formidable — and the second had a ring of nobility to it. 

i like them both, ingram offered, his snout covered now in a rime of soil. they seem like a nice way to honor drageda and your family. it may not stand on the shore anymore, but if you carry its memory with you.. he paused to sneeze, a cloud of dust expelled from his coat. i don’t know many names. i want you to name them.
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blodreina watches him dig at hole he found, reclining back upon her haunches slowly and carefully, still not quite used to the extension of her body. she wants to offer to help him but bites her tongue before it slips out. admitting that just walking short distances tired her out most days was something she'd rather lose her tongue than have to say out loud. he offers his thoughts on the names she has picked — few as they were — and states that he wants her to name the children. which, is fair enough. she won't argue nor push. she is grateful that he's here at all, especially when she'd been sure ( until his appearance ) she'd be raising them as a single mother.

maybe ...names are just something you know when you see them. blodreina considers aloud with a slight shrug of her shoulders, though she's, of course, partial to the two she put forward. in hindsight, she wishes she'd have asked gyda and wildfire more specific questions while she'd had the opportunity to — though she hadn't known then what she knew now and would've never in a thousand years guessed she'd be a mother.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
— your hands are wet with the blood
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you're going to keep my soul,
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even if blodreina had managed to offer her help, ingram would have declined it with the most no-nonsense of refusals. she was tired, he could tell -- every day it became more evident her time was soon, and he could not imagine how toilsome it was bearing new life within you.

he kept digging, for a while he was quiet -- he had heard her musing (and agreed with it), but had been so wrapped up in trying to figure out if this den was suitable, that for a few minutes he was lost in his own efforts. second by second his form seemed to be swallowed by the earth, and as he went further down, heaves of dirt flew in the air behind him.

for a brief few seconds, he disappeared entirely down the corridor; the warren had capsized under his weight, but luckily the tunnels were slim, and the collapse yielded a wider tunnel in their wake. ingram pushed and shoved dirt around until it was a circular hollow -- then he reappeared, with dirt lining his fur and speckled across his nose.

"well, it's no big old king's keep," he mused, pushing up from the earth with a generous shake of his fur. "but if you like it, it'll do."

well -- this was it: this was home. after a few finishing touches, ingram stood back and inspected his work, his heart fit to burst as blodreina nosed along the densite.
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