Hoshor Plains Heart like yours is rare to find

@Speedy hope this works!

He wasn’t used to the cold, not like the chill that settled in these parts. He was used to the dry, air biting cold; not this wet, stick to your bone’s kind of cold. But he had no choice. There was no going back, he had picked and left. For her. Sure, he could probably go back if he wanted, but you never go back the same person. And so Emrik was convinced that this was it, she was it for him.

At this time of night the woods fell quiet and the only sound was the wind running through the trees. He watched from a thicket along the vast plains, watching the wind whip the snow creating icy wind tunnels. It was strange the glow of the moon across the cloudy snow filled sky. He waited for her, to show herself.

of course! <3

He would not have to wait long. With her three remaining children tucked away in the warmth of their own thicket and fast asleep, she had set out to find Emrik. He had gone all the way home and had chosen to come back and stay with her; there were no words for how much she felt she owed him for that. She wanted to start repaying him by committing wholly to him. She had loved him for a long time, even when they were apart, and it had taken him leaving again and then returning to make her realize that. She had known deep down on some level, but now there was just no ignoring it any longer. 

She expected the icy wind to lift up her fur and freeze her skin, but she just could never get used to the feeling. By the time she tracked Emrik to his thicket, she was shivering. Speedy only paused briefly at the opening before attaching herself to his side, curling up against him and hiding her face in his fur. She stayed like that until she warmed some, and then she pulled back a little to smile at him. Much better, she whispered into the space between them, her smile widening.

He wasn’t surprised by her sudden intrusiveness, in fact her embraced the contact wholly. Sharing in her body that same as she shared in his. He grinned against the fur his face settled against. She pulled away sooner that he anticipated, but her didn’t let it faze him. She was his best friend! That was it. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself, even as he left the only family he had ever known the only life he had ever known to be with her. That’s what friends did right?

Grinning back at Speedy he nodded his head and a soft chuckle, “Took you long enough.” There was limited space available in the thicket he had chosen, and so the slight gap between them was easy enough to overcome for a shoulder bump, and light nose to the cheek.

Too long, she said with a chuckle. It's too cold out there tonight. The winters here were tough, but the spring and summer more than made up for it. The shoulder bump made her smile but the touch to her cheek did something new; her heart raced in her chest at the soft affection. She had made the decision to be his, but what if he didn't feel the same? Normally feelings were her area of expertise, but with her own emotions in the way, it was hard to suss out just exactly how he felt. Plus, that was something he would need to express on his own anyway. She shifted so that she reclined against him, ensuring there was no space left between them. He was warm and comforting, and she had missed him so much.

How is the family? she asked, avoiding speaking of her feelings for now. It was not something she would have ever thought she'd do, but she found herself uncharacteristically insecure when it came to admitting just how much she cared about him. So she settled on family talk; she wanted to hear about them anyway.

He shifted minutely to make them both more comfortable, an unconscious gesture showing just how comfortable he was around her. “They are good.” He spoke softly, turning from her gaze to look out at the swirling snow. “My sister received breeding rights this year, I’m gonna be an uncle.” He grinned turning his pearly teeth on her, ecstatic. “And your parents said they’d have another litter, so you’ll have more siblings shortly I’m sure.”

He continued speaking of every person he had seen and the changes happening among their family. Extended? Family. “And you? What of the children? He had missed them growing, and worried they had forgotten him. Worried they wouldn’t want to play with him anymore or learn from him. Worried he was now a stranger to all but Speedy. He had been so worried that he daren’t check in on them, not until Speedy warns him of their dispositions.

She was relieved to hear that life had gone on normally at home after she left. The news of his sister and her parents upcoming litters made a wide grin spread across her face but then it was gone just as quickly, replaced by sadness and concern. But Emrik, why didn't you stay? she asked. Now you won't see them grow up. She didn't feel right about stealing him away from his family just because she had chosen to stay here and not return home any time soon. It seems unfair for you to give that up just to be here with me, she added quietly, looking away. How could she ever make up for the time he would lose with his nieces and nephews?

The subject of her children would only deepen the sadness already present on her face. Castor is missing, she answered, devastation clear in her voice. I've been searching for him as much as I can, but I haven't found any sign of him. She hadn't been able to devote as much time to looking for him as she'd like to either, not with Ira and Evergreen still healing from their injuries. Acheron has been difficult; he's obsessive and moody. I think he might miss his brother, but he never wants to talk about whatever is bothering him. Coming from a family that talked about everything all the time, she had found that very difficult to deal with but had respected his wishes as best she could. The twins are a handful as always. But she never minded that; she enjoyed their personalities. I think they'll be glad to see you.

He returned her creeping sorrow and worry with a gentle smile, peering at her with his heterochromatic gaze. “I think, no I hope, I’ll be able to find something more here in the Wilds.” With you. He wished he had the gumption to say it, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t. He would not guilt her into a loving him, besides… she didn’t care for him that way.

A concerned frown whipped to smile clean off his face, and his eyes returned to the plains. “I’m so sorry Speedy, I should have been here to help. Like so many other times he wished he had been there beside her. He would make an effort and see the three remaining children, who were still very important to him, despite the time spent apart.

“And you Speedy?” He leaned in a little further if that were even possible. “How have you been?” She didn’t smell any different, it didn’t seem like much had changed but still he worried that she wouldn’t need or want him anymore.

She wanted so badly to give him what he hoped for. He had given up time with his nieces and nephews, the ability to be there for his sister while she was pregnant. He wouldn't be able to help her once the pups were born as he had done for her last summer. So what could she offer him to make up for that other than children of his own. The thought made her cheeks heat. She wanted to tell him how she felt, how she wanted this year to be different, how she wanted nothing more than to be the mother of his children, but the words wouldn't come out. What if it made things weird between them? She couldn't stand the thought of losing him. What does 'more' look like to you? she asked. She couldn't help it. Maybe she could find some other way to make his life here worth while without potentially ruining their friendship.

Don't place any blame on yourself. You're here now, and that's all that matters. She smiled up at him despite the seriousness of the subject. And maybe now you can go with me to search outside the borders; I'll feel safer traveling farther out. She had been too afraid of running into someone from Moonspear to search too far from Kaistleok, but with Emrik accompanying her, she might be able to cover ground not searched yet.

Speedy wasn't sure how to answer his question; she didn't want him to worry, but she also didn't want to hold anything back from him. At first she said nothing, gently tucking her head under his chin for a few moments before pulling back to meet his gaze. I'm worried, she admitted. Evergreen and Ira were both injured when the caves collapsed. I've tried my hardest to help them even with my dwindling herb supply. She shook her head and sighed. Ira seems to slowly be getting better, but Evergreen hasn't been so lucky; he had to step down. I feel like it's my fault somehow, like I failed him. No matter how much she tried to tell herself that things like this happened sometimes, she still couldn't help but feel guilty. And everything with Castor. She paused and tucked her head under his chin again. I'm just glad you're here.

You. The word hovered behind his lips, the sound stifled harshly at the back of his throat. His cheeks flushed, warming as the blood rushed, he pushed away an embarrassed smile. “Just being here, helping Kaistleoki remain strong is enough for me Speedy.” He would do anything to protect her and her home. “And help you find Castor. I’ll do anything I can to help find him, you name it.”

Snorting at her insinuation toward failure, Emrik shook his head. “Come now Speedy. You haven’t failed anyone, medicine doesn’t always work. That just the way it is, sometimes it just takes a little luck.” Emrik said as much as he could without seeing Evergreen for himself. A frown drew his brows together, the more he heard the more he wished he had stayed, if only to help Speedy deal with everything. “And I’m glad to be here.” He confided gently, dipping his head against her fur.

He brow furrowed a little. His answer was so selfless. She was touched, but: That doesn't seem like enough. Don't you want a family—children of your own? He deserved that much at the very least. 

Sometime in the next few days will you search with me? That would be help enough. There was hope in finding a new place to search, one that hadn't been combed through over and over again; she was grateful just for that. 

I know; I've been trying to tell myself the same thing. It's just hard to remember that sometimes. Whe he said he was glad to be here, she smile a little and nuzzled his neck, leaving her face against his fur as she asked: And what about you? How are you doing? All these changes and having just come back from a long journey. She hoped he was still doing okay.

He’d never really thought of having his own children, and the question gave him pause. I mean he always assumed he would have pups of his own at some point, but the opportunity had never presented itself. He had always enjoyed babysitting the youngsters at Apache Creek, but his own children would be dependent on him for so much more. It was an odd thought, to be responsible for another’s life. “I guess I never really thought about it. What you don’t think there’s anyone in the whole Teekon for me Speedy? I’m hurt.” He joked with an amused look, teasing.

“Of course I’ll search with you, we can go tomorrow if you want. If dusk hadn’t been setting he would have suggested the set out now, but he was still weary from travelling and wouldn’t be much good at night. “I’ve been good. I missed you… and everyone. I can’t say your parents were happy to see me without you beside me, and they wish to meet their grandchildren. I didn’t tell them everything, I didn’t think you would want them to worry. But I promised them I would protect you, so… But umm I’m good. Tired, I suppose.” He wasn’t the best at speaking of himself, preferring to focus on others, and their needs before his own.

His teasing comment made her heart beat furiously in her chest and heat rise in her cheeks. She was frozen in place for a few moments, her expression caught in a strange place between surprise and hurt. It wasn't his fault at all, but she couldn't help but think of him with someone else, making them happy and fathering their children. It was too much and it made her heart hurt so much that she felt like it might explode from her chest to lie in pieces on the ground at her feet. Why couldn't she just tell him how she felt? She had never had this problem before; she was always honest about everything, almost to a fault. What was wrong with her? She realized then that she hadn't said anything, and she swallowed and turned away to collect herself. She gave a small, awkward chuckle. Quite the opposite, she managed to say, her face still hidden from him. I think any woman would be lucky to be with you. And that was the truth. She wanted him to be happy and if that was with someone else, then she wouldn't stand in the way. She turned back to him, still keeping her gaze cast down at their feet, and offered him a small smile. 

He agreed to search with her, which was not a surprise; he was always willing to jump in and help. The mention of her parents made her sad as it always did. She wished they could meet their grandchildren too. And of course, she was beyond grateful that he loved her parents as much as she did and had made sure not to worry them unnecessarily. Thank you, she said quietly, touching her nose gently to his chin. I missed you too. I'm glad you're back. The words were soft and hesitant, as if she weren't supposed to say them.

His smile fell slightly at her comment, I don’t want any woman. It was true, at his core it had always been Speedy, even before she had left. Before anything he would always pine for her.

He blamed himself for the awkwardness that settled between them. Was that a sign? Did I say to much? She turned away and it gave him a moment to close his eyes, and swallow heavily. He ensured a happy smile was once more on his lips before she turned back. The man mentally berated himself, of course she wants you to find someone else, she doesn’t/couldn’t like you.

“Oh well, umm, good. I’m glad to be back.” Had he said that already? Oh gosh, he couldn’t remember. In fact he was having trouble concentrating on anything they had talked about in the last few minutes. Aside from Castor, that he very much remembered.

Trying to play off his own embarrassment, Emrik cleared his throat. “And you Speedy? Do you have a special someone waiting at your den for you? He hadn’t been gone that long, but one could never be to certain. And she was his best friend, they used to talk about this kind of stuff all the time. Nothing had changed. right?

She could tell he felt awkward, she saw it in his expression and she felt it oozing from him to settle between them. It was her fault, she knew it. What she said and the way she was acting was making him uncomfortable—it was making her uncomfortable. His first words were awkward and felt like they were meant to just fill the strange silence that had fallen between them. This is why she didn't like to keep things hidden; it only caused more problems. 

As if things couldn't get weirder, he next asked about her love life. Of course she had no one waiting at her den; she was with the only one she would want to share her den with other than her children. She looked at him, feeling a little exasperated by all of this. She should just say it. But the words caught in her chest. Um, no, She squeaked out. The one I have feelings for—I haven't been able to tell him. She looked him square in the face then as if willing him to catch her hidden meaning. But she regretted the words almost immediately. What if he did actually decode her true meaning and didn't feel the same way? But it was out now, and she couldn't do anything about it other than wait painfully for his reaction.

I haven’t been able to tell him. His heart sunk at her words, his gaze falling quickly to his paws. “Oh, well. I’m sure he feels the same way.” That’s what friends did right? Encouraged the other. “Why can’t you tell him?” It wasn’t like Speedy to be shy, despite his continuing question, Emrik’s dual gaze remained fixed on his paws, only lifting to look out across the plains and then back at his paws.

He knew that taking one look at Speedy would provoke his own confession, and there was no way he was going to ruin her chances to be happy for his own selfish reasons. There was a rock sitting at the back of his throat that he desperately tried to dislodge, but found he couldn’t. God. He mentally cried, his paws itching with the desire to flee, to be anywhere but here having this conversation.

this song came on while i started to reply to this post, and i felt like it fit very well <3

She was exasperated. This was ridiculous, right? This was Emrik; she had always been able to tell him anything. She was already studying every fine point of his handsome features, searching for any indication that he understood what she was getting at and maybe felt the same way. But he hadn't understood anything. He just looked down, all defeated looking and asked her to explain why she couldn't be honest. She could hardly bear to see him looking so down. She wondered what made him react in such a way. She wanted to ask, but she needed to get this off of her chest now. Well, she started quietly. I've known him for a long time, and I'm afraid he won't feel the same way and then our friendship might be ruined. Surely he would get the hint now. But in case he didn't, she leaned forward and offered a soft kiss to his cheek. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it might burst from her chest. She was terrified. She knew if he didn't return her feelings, it would absolutely shatter her. But what she was most scared of was how awkward it might be for them going forward. She was afraid things would be so awkward that their friendship would suffer, and that would hurt more than anything.

Her words sparked a flicker of hope in his chest, and he swallowed nervously, eyes widening that she could be talking about him. He tried to dismiss it, for surely, they couldn’t have been this dense, or rather he couldn’t have been this dense. And then, she did the unthinkable. She kissed his cheek.

His head shot up, looking at her, startled by the only conclusion he could draw. Speedy had feelings for him! “Me?!” Emrik exclaimed, confused but also thrilled, a hearty laugh left his lungs and a broad grin spread across his lips. “You…like me? He mellowed out slightly, a hopeful look in his blue and green eyes.

She couldn't contain the soft giggle that moved from her chest at his reaction. You're surprised? she asked. You're kind and selfless and— she paused and looked away. —and handsome, she finished shyly with a small smile. He clearly did not see himself the way the rest of the world did. He seemed happy to hear her admission, though, his expression hopeful, which she took as a good sign. But...Is that how you feel about me? she asked a little hesitantly. She needed to hear him say it. She didn't trust herself to read him properly right now, not with her heart racing and her stomach in knots. She wanted desperately for him to feel the same way, and she worried she would only see what she wanted to see.

The grin never left his lips, “What? Of course I’m surprised.” Emrik shook his head, “I just never…” He couldn’t think of the words, of the reason why he was so surprised. Ultimately, he just never thought Speedy would ever return his feelings. Trying to still his ferociously beating heart, Emrik’s gleeful grin morphed into a soft acceptance, slightly embarrassed at her words. “Thank you.”

Again he was surprised by her words. “Of course Speedy. Gosh, I’ve liked you pretty much since we met.” He lightly pawed at the ground, looking for any reason not to be embarrassed. “How could I not. Speedy, you are such an amazing person. This time he was the one to reach forward, his nose lightly meeting her cheek giving her an affectionate nudge with his own cheek.

His thanks was completely unnecessary; the way she saw it, he had done more for her than she could ever think to repay, and so he deserved everything he wanted. She would make sure he knew that every day she breathed. 

His words made warmth spread all over her body, settling in her stomach so that she completely forgot about the cold and the snow outside their little world. His compliment made a shy smile curve her lips as she bashfully looked away. But then she felt his gentle touch to her cheek, and she turned to him once more, pushing her head under his chin to nuzzle him in return. After a few moments she pulled back just enough to study his face. Her expression turned a little more serious. I want to be yours, officially, she murmured, nerves making her heart race again. If that's something you want too. She knew she didn't want anyone else, but was he certain of the same thing?

She pressed close to him, fitting perfectly against his chest. A subconscious sigh fluffed the fur atop her head. To quickly for his liking she pulled away, not separating completely but enough to disturb their upright cuddle. His smile returned in full force at her hesitant words, OF COURSE THAT’S WHAT HE WANTED.

“Speedy Cambria, formerly of Apache Creek, currently of Kaistleoki, would you do me the honor of becoming me mate?” His words portrayed confidence, but his heart beat rapidly, nervously against his rib cage.

Her face lit up as he spoke, a large grin parting her lips. Nothing would make me happier, she answered. Her tail beat against the ground a few times before she pushed her face back under his chin, perhaps a little too excitedly; she couldn't help herself. At the start of this conversation, she had convinced herself that she wouldn't ever hear those words from him—that she might have to watch him be happy with someone else. But now, he was hers and she was his, and she thought her heart might explode. Emotion swelled in her chest and suddenly tears welled in her eyes and began to fall down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them even if she wanted to. She tried to hide them from Emrik, embarrassed and not wanting him to worry; they were happy tears after all. But she accidentally sniffled a little against his fur. She tried to cover it up with a quiet clearing of her throat, but she wasn't sure it would work.

Nothing would make me happier.

If he had had the room he would have jumped with joy, but unfortunately the bushes that surrounded them were large enough for such an action. Instead his tail pounded the ground furiously, and a giddy laugh erupted from his chest.

Before he had the chance to lean into her, she was already butting her head rather aggressively against his torso. He pressed his head firmly against her own, raising a paw to bring her impossibly closer. And then the sniffles started. “Sick of me already?” He joked, for there was no way she could be sad at this moment. At least he hoped not.

He pulled her closer, and she gladly melted against him. His teasing words made her giggle softly, a few more sniffles accompanying the sound. That would never happen, she said against his fur. I'm just...really happy, she explained. And it's just been a long time since I've felt this way. In fact, the last time she could remember feeling the way she did now was the night before she left; she had spent that night with him too. Have I told you how glad I am that you're back? she asked, nuzzling into him further if that was even possible. And now that he was, she never wanted him to leave again. Flashes of them and her children spending their lives together filled her mind, and she smiled. Suddenly, she had something else she wanted to ask him, something she didn't think she could hold in. What about kids? she asked quietly. I'd like to have more...would you? She knew it was a big step, and she would understand if he had reservations. But she really hoped he would say yes.

He nodded his understanding, glad that her own emotions and opinions reflected his own. Keeping his mischievous tone Emrik hummed in contemplation, “You know… I don’t think you’ve mentioned it nearly enough.” He laughed it off as she snuggled further, taking the initiative he lowered into a more relaxed position, prompting her to follow.

He was settled when yet another proposition was placed before him, an even bigger responsibility. His mouth watered quickly forcing him to swallow before he could even think to contemplate words. “I—I do. Absolutely I do.” He hadn’t consciously made a decision, his lips simply moved of their own accord. “But after last year are you ok? I know it was traumatic.” He looked away, still angry at the position she had been in. He vowed that, any pregnancy she had to go through with his children, she would be pampered and protected.