Phoenix Maplewood How do I believe in 101 when we stumbled the 99?

For @Kavik just a little ways from Whitebark Stream's borders

C'mon  you can do it just make it to that fallen tree...

Lainie would make it every time. One shaking, tired step after the other until she could lean against the thick trunk of her destination and rest before moving onward again. She was getting sick, her stomach ached for food so painfully that it caused drool to pool in her maw to be retched out in dry heaves when the nausea became too much for her to handle. Not that it would stop her progress in searching for her family, the goal of finding them was what kept her positive in her loneliness and poor health. 


Emerald eyes lifted scanning the area ahead of her before she released a breath and picked out another tree, setting off slowly before the breeze changed suddenly and the smell of a pack nearby startled her. Whipping her head around to look for anyone nearby she tucked her tail moving faster so she wouldn't be caught. Another gust blew the scent to her and this time she caught something that made her heart leap into her throat. Changing direction she shambled toward the pack grounds getting as close as she could before her back spasmed and her hind legs quaked, giving out after a moment of fight. With a loud growl of frustration she laid against a tree and began to lick her hinds, having learned that doing so helps them feel better faster though she wouldn't be moving for some time now. After a moment of considering howling for help she decided against it, not only not wanting to have her father rush to her in a panic but not wanting to be made to join a pack. She'd lost two already and despite her father being there she just didn't feel she could function surrounded by more new people. For the time being she simply stated into the packlands, laying on her side against the tree with her hinds splayed out awkwardly and slowly regaining function.

His patrol had turned up nothing so far, and he was about to return to Grezig and check on her and the children. But a familiar scent made him freeze. All this time, he had searched for his children even when he was sure they didn't want to be around him, and now they were just randomly popping up here. He sprinted forward, crossing over the borders and finally stopping when he was standing directly in front of his very grown daughter. The last time he had seen her, she was yelling at him on the borders of Uaine Gorsedd. He hated that she had just left, but it was clear she wanted a life free from his smothering, over-protective tendencies. And he had let her go. She had been old enough then that he couldn't really make her do anything she didn't want to do. 

Lainie, he finally managed to get out. I've missed you so much. How are you? He hoped she had found what she was looking for. He refrained from mentioning her lingering leg issues, although he really wanted to know how that was going too. He didn't want to push things, though.

The sound of someone rapidly approaching caused her head to shoot up and she panickedly forced herself into a sitting position glad to feel her hind legs responding rather well already. Perhaps the constant moving around and extra use trying to hunt and chase prey had strengthened them after all. Tense she prepared to apologise for being so close only to release a sharp breath as she saw who was coming toward her. Eyes round like saucers she stared at him unable to speak, grateful that he had come to her so quick but overwhelmed that suddenly he was right there after all that had transpired and the time that had passed. He said he had missed her and a lump rose in her throat as her tail tapped lightly against the ground "I missed you too Papa" her voice was soft and wavering, eyes lowering to the ground as she quickly blinked away the tears that had begun to mist over her eyes. "I've been ok" she said with a smile trying not to act like a baby even though it was a blatant lie and she deeply felt that he should have known that by seeing her condition. Where was the hugs, the fatherly love she used to seek out?

Oh riiiiight....she had basically destroyed it by screaming she wasn't a baby and then disappearing. 

"How are you? I noticed Ibis's pack isn't there" she didn't want to overwhelm him with questions, didn't want too much sadness brought into their reunion but she was concerned mainly about the young woman that given them a home. She had been sick when Lainie left.

She looked sad. Even after their time apart, he could still read the nuances of her facial expressions and body language. He stepped closer, offering her a gentle nuzzle. Laine, what's wrong? he asked, eyebrows drawing together in concern. He wondered if she had found out how difficult the world really was. Not that she really needed any reminders. But being on her own must have opened her eyes to a few things, and he wished he could have protected her from that. But she had made it clear that his protection was not what she wanted, and she was no longer a child; he had no right to order her around anymore. He still worried, though, and he wished he could have been there for her more. 

He shrugged some and forced a small smile when she asked about him. I've been alright, he replied. It was kind of the truth. Lately, he had been a little better, though, now that Grezig was allowing him to see his children. The mention of Ibis tightened his chest, though. He wondered how she was doing and hoped she had been able to rebuild what he had been unable to keep going for her during her sickness. Ibis was doing a little better but we didn't have enough wolves left to sustain the pack, he explained. Grezig and I came here a few moons ago. He wondered if she would be angry with him about her younger siblings when he finally told her.

Leaning into his nuzzle she opened her maw to tell him everything, her eyes misting up again to drop a tear or two down her cheeks. She wanted to say how sorry she was for yelling at him and leaving him, she wanted to admit that she had needed his care because of her injuries and that she was tired and starving because she couldn't do it alone but she found herself unable to say any of it instead forcing a smile onto her face "Nothing, I'm alright" she lied the smile not quite reaching her eyes. She just couldn't do it, couldn't drop the tears and hurt on him when he seemed to be doing good for himself. He had always tried his hardest to make her feel loved even if it had smothered her and she didn't want to see him sad or have him rush to help her anymore. As he went on to confirm he was doing alright she slowly wagged her tail glad to hear it though her smile faded to a more solemn look as he said that the pack had dispersed because there weren't many wolves left "At least Ibis was better before it happened"

  "Grezig? Where's Zephyr?" she asked unsure if she had met that person but alarmed that her brother hadn't been mentioned. The last place he had been was with Papa was it not? The mountains, the rainstom, it all came rushing back. She didn't care that Zephyr was mean to her, he was the only sibling she had left and she was determined to fix whatever she had done wrong. "Have you looked?" she asked emerald eyes peering hopefully into his thought there was an intensity that showed her fear that Zephyr wouldn't be alive anymore.

Lainie, he said, concern deepening his frown. I can tell that you're not alright. He moved closer. He wanted to nuzzle her and drape himself over her. But she had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to be treated like a child anymore, and he was trying very hard to respect that, even if she looked the farthest thing from alright. What's up, sweetheart, he gently pushed. He couldn't help the need to want to fix all her problems, even if he knew he could probably do nothing even close. 

Zephyr left not long after you did, he answered, his words tight with sadness. It hurt to think about Zephyr and the way things had ended the last time they talked. I saw him recently, he continued, swallowing the lump of guilt the memory summoned. He has a—a mate, and they're starting a pack somewhere near here. And he hates me and wants nothing to do with me anymore. He didn't speak the last part out loud. Zephyr had every right to hate him and he didn't think it necessary to dump all of that on Lainie.

It didn't take much more than her name being spoken and the concerned expression for Lainie to cave into the allure of the safety of her father's embrace. As he stepped forward so did she intending to nuzzle under his chin and sit against his chest like she did as a kid though now it would be a little more awkward and she'd probably have to sit to the side of him. "I miss everyone" she admitted to him her voice little more than a shaking exhale of breath as she fell silent hearing his pull of breath to speak and pulling away to listen expression shifting from somber to shining with hope even despite Papa's sad tone. 

Zephyr was alive still.... that's what mattered...

Yet the yearning for her brother was tainted by rain and screaming and fangs. Feeling a sick sensation in her stomach she ignored the way she felt panicked, the yearning for a sibling turning into terror that Zephyr wouldn't want to be her family anymore, that he hated her. And he scared her. There was that too. She knew what he was capable of. The news that he was in love and with someone forming a pack was almost overwhelming and she stared at her father slack jawed before dropping her gaze to the ground "I'm just glad he's happy. That's what counts right?" she asked lifting her gaze to search his, seeking confirmation that it was really a good thing for Zephyr. She wanted to be happy for everyone, not worried that they were suffering.  "What about you? Is this your new home?" Would she be able to find him here again? She couldn't say it, that she didn't want to join the pack despite her current state. That she didn't want to stay somewhere just because she needed help, bound by weakness not loyalty.

He easily offered her the affection she finally sought from him, lowering his head over her as she nuzzled into his chest like she used to do when she was a child. It broke is heart on so many levels, and he wished they could just stay like that forever. She finally spoke, shattering his heart even further, and he drew in a deep breath. I know; I miss them too, he said gently. He wanted to tell her that they were all alive, but he wanted to comfort her for a bit before dropping that on her. It was good news but would probably be awfully confusing for her. So instead, he just held her close and gave her the comfort he knew she needed. 

He nodded as she spoke again. Yeah, he answered quietly, not immediately meeting her gaze. Happiness was all he ever wished for them. He knew he had never offered them much, and had no hope of offering that to Zephyr now, but he did hope he found it somehow. When he did look to her, she had already looked away. Yeah, for now, he offered in response to her next question. Then he drew in another deep breath, deciding he should probably tell her why this would be his home for a bit. You have a little brother and a little sister here, he told her, his heart slamming against his ribs. Would she be angry like Zephyr had been? Would she storm away too? Maybe it was for the best. And when Alsek and Pele were old enough, maybe they would finally see him for who he was and leave too. They would all be better off.

A lingering sensation of peace from hearing the familiar beat of his heart had caused the tension to leave her frail body, the sadness fading until she looked at her father attentive and soothed. He shared in the grief that never seemed to go away, the nagging ache that reminded her that her family had been lost before she'd even gotten to know them. Lainie wondered if he felt that strongly still or was it just her who was hanging on too tightly now? Conversation moved on and she felt afraid to discuss it further, pushing down the sharp ache and instead focusing on his new start. One that he seemed not too sure of unless he'd just phrased it badly "for now?" She repeated curiously. Was he going somewhere else, maybe to help Zephyr out? The little jolt of excitement at the idea was cut short by a bombshell dropped. She stared blankly at him the words repeating inside her head, the news of yet another two siblings to add to the family she didn't really have.

 "Oh" 

The word came out sounding weird, she'd tried to sound pleased but she couldn't stop the tremulous, almost wince inducing squeak it had come out as. 

"That's great!" 

There was a smile that time as she processed it for real, letting it sink in. The first thought she had was about Soter and Morena. They'd barely begun their childhood and Mother had taken them away. Was he trying to replace them after letting them go? Standing there her tail swayed slowly and rather listlessly "What are their names?" she could at least showing effort to make up for not being excited for the news. All the while it felt like she was standing there with an open wound bleeding out invisibly before him as one thought repeated inside her mind:

He had a new family now....