Larksong Grotto Victoria's Secret

@Vuk <3

Despite vomiting a grand total of four times since she'd been rudely awaken at dawn that morning, Jhala was determined to leave the den. She'd kept her sickness hidden from Reek best she could, but it was obnoxious. At least now she'd not been so hot, just nauseous. Today was, however, the day she knew she needed to find Vuk. Her friend had told her some time ago that she was in love with Reek-- or at least had feelings for him. She was now his mate... that was not something she could keep hidden.

She felt terrible for betraying her friend-- but what could she do? Say no? Disappoint the one wolf who she'd sworn her loyalty to? Of course not. She'd do anything to make him happy-- even if that meant this. She did not love him back in the same way, but she'd had feelings for him. Wasn't that enough?

She stands at the entrance to Vuk and Terich's den, hoping the other would be home. She lets out a light bark to draw attention but speaks regardless. "Vuk?" she calls into the den, "I need to talk to you, please."

vuk had finally bathed and groomed her fur into a semblance of control. without the raggedness to her pelt, she was merely the skinny waif who had first drifted to larksong's door, albeit with a deeper pain in her vivid turquoise gaze. cleaning seff's scent from her fur had made the woman weep with broken sobs she hid from terich in the heart of the grotto, unable to share with him the depth of her loss.

without seff, vuk found herself devoid of a reason to live, to go on, to see each sunset and sunrise. the insidious worm of life's end crept into her mind and set itself up there, whispering to the girl each eve that her pain would be soothed if she would seek the river and its depths. vuk resisted, but with every night's passing, her resolve weakened.

when jhala called her name at the mouth of her den, the patchwork wolfess was shaken from her reverie. a long, numb moment slipped by before vuk lifted herself and moved into the sunlight, her eys hooded against its brightness. 

she did not speak.

Vuk didn't speak when she appeared from the den-- she looked ragged and broken and far less like the girl that Jhala had once been friends with. She hesitates to speak, contemplating not telling her at all, but she knows it's the right thing to do. "Vuk, I... I think that... I uhm..." she breaks off, shaking her head, her tail tucked beneath her undersides. She tries to start over, but a wave of nausea hits her and she has to brace herself in order to stay composed, taking a few deep breathes. 

"I've been a little sick... lately..." she mutters, her gaze still not reaching her friends. 

"I just came to tell you that I'm sorry," she finally forces out, quickly and filled with fear. "I hurt you... and... I didn't mean to but I did. Reek asked me to be his wife... and... I don't know why I really don't but he did and I couldn't let him down." Her rambles are long and maybe don't make as much sense as they did in her head, but she at least says what she came to say. 

With a final breath, she speaks once more. "Vuk, please forgive me," she says softly, a crack shattering the center of her plea.

jhala began to speak, rambling, raving almost, ending on a plea for forgiveness. anger rose in vuk, but it departed as soon as it had come, and she hung her head, sides lifting with a long breath. raas would provide, spoke her mind, and so she lifted her eyes to jhala again. "i am being tested," the patchwork girl spoke waveringly, though without her usual stumble.

"f-from me s-seff w-was taken, and r-reek. my p-pain is p-part of a l-larger p-plan. i m-must b-be h-humble b-before the d-daystar." she drew a shaking breath -- the betrayal of both jhala and hiram was wounding, but the loss of seff was far greater.

"m-my f-forgiveness is y-yours." a tired smile tugged at vuk's mouth. "b-but n-now i m-must go t-to f-find m-my s-son. i w-will n-not r-return until i f-find him."

Anger bubbled in her in an almost uncharacteristic way-- but she knew better than to rant to Vuk about the Daystar right now. A bigger plan, bullshit. It was just the shittiness of the world, no 'higher power' would purposefully put someone through so much. Herself included, wolves would always be filled with greed and selfishness. They'd betray each other until the end, because that was apparently how the fucking world worked. She shook her head at her comment, but didn't respond. Deep down, Jhala knew that Vuk was aware of her 'ignorance', but it was not worth the risk to speak so openly.

The patch-work girl spoke again, and works caught in her throat. "N-no... Vuk," she murmurs, her voice low and followed by a long whine. "Please don't leave... I'm sorry Seff has left you but... the Grotto needs you..." she says, her amber gaze trying to find the blue eyes of the other. Selfishly, she adds, "I need you." 

if vuk sensed jhala's anger, she did not show it. raas would guide her. she had been broken in service, robbed of all that made her whole, emptied -- she would not turn away from her task now, not when all that was left for her was death. jhala spoke of need, but seff needed her more. her son -- 

"i c-cannot s-sleep. or e-eat. n-not while m-my b-boy is l-lost." her turquoise eyes searched jhala's own. how could the other ask her to stay? "i-if r-raas g-grants you c-children f-from y-your u-union w-with ... h-hiram, y-you w-will understand," she added in a kind whisper, though the image of the man she loved coupling feverishly with jhala stabbed vuk deeply within her spirit.

Unable to stand the thought of another person leaving, Jhala shook her head furiously. "No," she says firmly, but tears welled in the corners of her eyes. "I don't understand why," she adds in reference to her second comment. She means she doesn't understand why Vuk has to leave, but truthfully doesn't understand why she would be granted children-- and by what union? what did that mean? "I... what if he isn't lost?" she asks hopefully, her ears flicking once before falling back to the top of her head. "Raas has a plan for everyone-- what if he lead Seff somewhere?" she asks, though the words are bitter on her tongue. 

In another childishly selfish murmur, she says, "You can't leave too."

vuk found weariness stealing over her at jhala's insistence upon this and that, her confusion. the woman refused to place her faith in raas, and it showed. but vuk -- she stood in the light of the daystar and it was upon that gilded path she would travel to find her son. "jhala," she said quietly, seeking the eyes of her leader. "i m-must f-find seff. h-he n-needs m-me. h-he is all i h-have in t-this world." surely the woman would not keep her from this; not now.

Vuk insists, and her expression hardens. She can't make her stay, she knows this, but she just can't understand why she won't stay. Vuk was all she had in the world--Reek, of course, but to Jhala Vuk would always be different. 

"Fine," she mutters, stepping away from the woman. "Go find Seff, I'm sure he's looking for you." With another step back, her gaze turns behind her, looking far off in the distance. Seff probably left of his own free will, people don't steal puppies-- but fine. Whatever Vuk wanted to believe. "Good luck," she adds in one last mutter, and begins to leave, her strides lengthening clumsily. If this is what she wanted, fine, leave the Grotto. It would crash and burn with the rest of this damned religion-- at least.

vuk did not speak -- jhala's selfishness turned her stomach. she had taken reek and the family that could have belonged to vuk, and now had broken the patchwork girl herself over the altar of shame. but she would not allow herself to be swayed, not when she was needed by her son. she did not watch the darkfurred leader as she stalked away, but turned her face toward the light and breathed in the hope of raas.