Lake Rodney and i don't care if nothing is mine

for @Khali >:) set for March 2

before moving on from brecheliant, cam stopped at the rather large lake just shy of that territory. he thought he'd been here before—it seemed awfully familiar—but he might just be confusing it with one of the other myriad bodies of water in these parts.

either way, the lakeshore was inviting even in late winter, its tall, naked birches providing some cover from the wind. he slipped through these trees, already a little homesick for the evergreen boughs of his forest. the feeling only grew as he realized that the place would no longer be home. . .that they were leaving it behind for better things.

hopefully, their new home would treat them more kindly. cam couldn't bear the thought of more loss.

he settled with a sigh down beneath a smaller tree, watching the breeze ripple across the water. the birds were returning again, flying northward from their winter abodes. his eyes followed one such flock of what appeared to be geese, in their customary v-formation against the blue sky.

they broke, and began to settle down upon the lake, lighting either upon the water or the shore nearby. cam smiled absently to see their elongated necks, to hear their incessant honk-squawks.

Lately Cam was on Khali’s mind, he was sure that Cam would be holding a grudge. Hell, Khali would of if he was in the same position but he had hoped maybe one day he could at least talk to him about it. The weight on his shoulders felt like carrying a ton of bricks around. The man had gotten his strength back after Ibis had welcomed him into her pack. 

Khali had been messing around the border of brecheliant, patrolling and refreshing borders when he caught his sons familiar scent. For a moment he hesitated, it was the thought of actually confronting the situation that made him hold back just a little. A small sigh left his mouth as he talked himself into it. Just go. All he could do is say he doesn’t want to talk to you. Khali made the first step toward the scent and before he knew it was on his way to his son.

His paws led him to a lake not far from the border of Brecheliant. A figure was at a tree and Khali stopped and raised his ears slightly. ” Cam!, is that you?” he called out and waited for the figure to speak back to him. The air was chilled from the water front and a breeze had tickled down his spine. The man never took his eyes off of the wolf.

focused as he was on the birds, cam didn't notice the approach and was wholly ignorant until he heard his name called out. he rose, thinking it might be someone from brecheliant (hopefully not that moonspear man), and immediately was rooted in place.

this was worse. he hadn't noticed his father's scent along the borders of the place, preoccupied as he was with sniffing out ibis and fear of arcturus. 

but here he was, smelling of the fen, calling out his son's name as if nothing at all was wrong between them. cam's eyes narrowed to slits, glinting emerald as he stared at khali. he looked for a long, silent moment, then spoke.

are you going to run away again if i ask where you've been? 

his voice was quiet and world-weary, but there was an undeniable edge to it.

If looks could kill, Khali would be 6 feet under at this point. Khali tucked his tail between his legs and a sense of sadness fell over his body. The way Cams words came out cut him like a knife. are going to run away again if I ask where you’ve been? , it pained him at the thought of telling his son some kind of pitiful story and maybe a few lies or two. The thought sounded nice maybe if he would do that then Cam would feel pity and apologize or want some kind of relationship with him. Even wanting so bad to do that Khali knew the kind of man he was and it wasn’t that. 

“ I will not run away again. Does It count for something that I love you no matter what has happened or will happen between us?” his voice was firm, the words were true to his heart even if his son didn’t feel the same way. ” I had brought moonspear some baskets from your mother, she loved helping others and at that point in her life she was so happy to have you and Lana and Ziggy and me. We were the world to her. But... “ his voice became so soft at the end it was almost a whisper.

he closed some distance at the assurance khali would not flee, taking a few measured steps toward his father. he would have focused more on that 'love' part had the man not mentioned moonspear; his face grew suffused with shock, and he tried to work it out in his mind. 

did my mother know moonspear? were they allied with elysium? cam asked, letting that but fall away. they both already knew, somewhat, what that word contained—except cam had been there to see it all, and khali had not. khali would never truly understand the horrors of that day.

it was easier to talk about moonspear and elysium as if they were some abstract concepts, rather than focus on the real, tangible pain of losing both his parents in one fell swoop. he waited quietly for an answer and tried to ignore the rapid hammering of his heart against his ribcage.

Khali waited for Cam to say something but instead of words his beloved son moved closer. He felt his heart skip a beat and excitement had filled his body, maybe they could be close after all. The hope that those little steps gave him were more than enough for him to stay, not that he was planning on leaving anyway.

”Your mother had some sort of relationship with almost every pack back then. She was easy to get along with that’s one of the things I loved about her most...” Khali told him his voice raspy. “why do you ask?” his head tilted a little, he wondered if this was important somehow.

the picture of his mother grew still clearer in his mind. no one had ever had a bad thing to say about her. even mal, with his dislike of elysium, had refrained (at least around cam). it only made sense that she would be allied with the wolves that had chased him down the mountain.

it's—i trespassed on their land long ago, when i was a boy, he explained briefly, keeping in check the emotion that had simmered over so quickly in his conversation with arcturus. it was terrible. i guess i was surprised that she would be friends with them. . .but if she was like what you just said, that. . .yeah.

cam trailed off, then, feeling awkward. unable to speak further. but not unwilling. he turned his green gaze fully onto khali, trying to silently transmit all of his thoughts and feelings to his father. if only it were that easy.

he shook his head, frustrated at the futility of it all. why didn't you come back? cam asked. i mean. . .sooner than you did. what kept you so long from us?

he had hastened for neverwinter forest, hastened for those he loved. why hadn't khali?