Morningside Cuesta what is mine is yours

<3

There were plenty of things to occupy Khoe's mind, though one of them stuck out far more than any of the others. Soon, before summer's end, she would have another chance at motherhood, and with someone who she adored, rather than feared. Just the idea of the two of them raising their young together made Khoe giddy and childlike, thus making it a struggle for her to contain herself. So far as she knew, everyone worth knowing already was aware of the chance that she might be carrying, but she still had to maintain her cool around the young ones.

As she drew near to a slow running stream, Khoe decided that it would be in her favor to get out some of her excitement (and anxiety). Knowing that there was only one other mother in the pack, she called for @Heartha in hopes that the two of them could bond over this sentiment.

Heartha thought on things. Mostly on Sunny. On how he had left, and how her own had left. Everything happening, with Sunny leaving opened old wounds. She wanted to cry, but stayed strong. She needed to be strong, to help all young she could. If she couldn't be a mother to her own, she would help other mothers.

Khoe calling her brought her out of her low thoughts, and she smiled lightly to herself before heading over. "Khoe...How is it going?" She did not ask if Khoe could be expecting, as she did not exactly know that her and Grayday had had their 'moment'.

Heartha approached with such haste that the poor Khoe almost jumped from her fur with surprise. She turned and smiled to the peppered femme and gave an affectionate lick to her shoulder before half-circling and taking a seat. I'm glad to say I have no real complaints, she told her, but then again, I haven't really been able to focus on much outside of...you know. There was an amused tone to her voice followed by a small giggle, as Khoe figured Heartha knew exactly what she'd meant.

It's just all so exciting! Soon, there might be little ones running all around the territory. Or, I suppose 'littler' ones, since we've already got children galore. Khoe cracked another smile and tried to control her tongue, as it became apparent that she had been running off at the mouth. It was embarrassing, but she knew that she wouldn't have been able to stop it if she'd tried with everything she had.

Heartha's eyes widened for a moment, then her face softneed and she smiled, almost as if she were gleaming. "You mean you and..." She too giggled a little at the thought, a more gleeful one. That meant in a few months time, there would be young ones around. 

"This is great news! I can help you with the birth, the caring, and the-" She stopped herself, getting too caught up in all of this. "Getting myself carried away now."

Thankfully, Heartha got the message. The notion of children brought such joy to her heart that it almost brought Khoe to tears, which only added to her confusion when Heartha brought herself to a stop. Provided, Khoe had been able to care for her own pups once before, but even then, she'd had several sister wives to help her with the delivery. So who was to say that Heartha...

Well do you have any experience? Khoe inquired. She thought that perhaps she had been told something about it in the past, but it wouldn't hurt to make sure. I don't see why you wouldn't be able to help me, if it isn't too much trouble, of course.

Heartha nodded as if she was trying to make her brain shake all about in her head. "Yes, I do have a lot! Had two litters, helped with others, helped with pregnancies" she listed these accomplishments like she were a pup. She kept a wide smile on the whole time, wider than ever before. It was almost painful. "I find the cravings the second hardest thing, you never know what you might want!" She laughed at her own attempt of a joke.

Heartha had much more experience than Khoe had originally thought, thus making her decision of allowing her to be a midwife was an easy one. Really? I think that I dislike the nausea the most. With her first pregnancy, Khoe had been bed-ridden and ill well into her second trimester. She had been almost deathly ill, finding it difficult to even open her eyes without feeling as though she was closing in on herself from the inside out. There had been many times in which she had wished death upon herself and she prayed that this pregnancy would be different from the last, though there was no way to be sure.

But I like pregnancy, she sighed, It's one of the best experiences I have ever had.

Heartha presented a wider grin to Khoe. "Well, it's a toss up between that and the cravings...Sometimes one leading to the other." She had went through a craving case that did not go well with her once before. 

"It is" Heartha replied to Khoe, nodding in agreement. "The gift of a child is something to behold...and to cherish." Her ears fell as she said that last part. Not one of her children made it to being an adult, as far as she knew. She looked at Khoe, suddenly serious, staring into her eyes with as if she was trying to deliver her message through sight alone. She moved a paw over one of Khoe's. "You have to cherish it. Promise me you will keep them safe."

There was a sudden wave of sadness that washed over Khoe, serving as a stark contrast to the pure bliss which she had felt not even moments before. Heartha moved her paw atop Khoe's but she quickly drew away, taking a step backward and flattening her ears back against her head with a whine. She wanted to keep them safe; to be there for their first steps and their first words; to hold them after their first tumble and to praise them after their first hunt; but she couldn't. Things hadn't worked out that way and no matter how hard she wanted to go back and fix things, she had left them behind.

And nothing scared her more than thinking about what would happen if she had to do the same thing again. Khoe knew she couldn't bare it; the weight of such an act would kill her before she had time to repent.

I can't, she whispered as she drew further back, until she eventually found herself a fair distance from Heartha, her paws carrying her with the wind.

Heartha didn't know what came over her. Maternal instinct, or fear of something being repeated. Khoe backed away quickly, and for a moment Heartha was left dumb founded. Was the suddenly serious approach something that surprised Khoe? Or was it something Khoe feared in herself? Heartha found her answer in Khoe's. 

"Khoe, I..." She thought back to the first time they met, in a one-on-one conversation. She had lost children too. She feared the repeat of it. "We will all get you through this. Or I'm no den mother." She took a step forward, and only one step, not daring to chase Khoe back any further. "I am sorry if I was too direct...I just can't have anymore children lost, anyone's children."

No, she barked in response to Heartha's words. What had begun as a kind reunion had turned to something much less joyous in a matter of seconds. No. I don't need anyone to help me; I will be their mother and I will raise them. And you will stay away from them. The words were unspoken but she felt as though they had been properly communicated. Khoe's hackles stood nearly on end and her ears remained flat against her skull. She didn't need anyone's help; they were her children and she would do it all by herself if she had to. 

Maybe that's your agenda, she began again, but leave my children out of it.

Heartha was surprised herself at how fierce Khoe had just become. She didn't blame herself, despite her words having started it. Heartha couldn't see past her own feelings. She felt angry at Khoe, taking this chance from her, yet sad, because she wanted to only help.

"Khoe! Please, I just want to-" Those last words stung her to silence. She couldn't help it when she turned and ran. Heartha just could not see that she couldn't be mother to all, she didn't want to see that. Even if she thought that wasn't her agenda at all, it was. One built on selfish feelings in herself.