Bitterroot Valley You got some shit to say and I'm hear to listen

@Kavik  (set at the very edge of the southern Snowforest Taiga, where the Qeya meets the Rising Sun Valley)

They'd been wrong; they should have returned to the Sanctuary far earlier. 

The storm had blown up with surprising speed and ferocious strength; it beat against them angrily as the wind screeched at their ears. The rain fell in droves so thick it knocked branches from trees and sent even some of the larger boulders that dotted the south of the Taiga tumbling. It was terrifying, or would be; if the healer had not once seen locusts rain from the heavens. 

The sylph was not so frightened as she was cold. It was a bitter gnawing animal inside of her; chewing at her intestines and leaving a hollow, numbing pain. She shivers continuously, not unlike one of the leaves caught in the storm's path, huddled as she is against the equally chilled Kavik. The fae had been frightened of losing him in the storm - if she lost him, no, she would not go there, it was unthinkable - and refused to leave his side. She kept her pale shoulder firmly pressed against his onyx one as they straggled against the rain, squinting so as to see through the diluge. As night sets on, this task becomes harder and harder. 

They've been turned around somewhere, Liri thinks despondenty as she catches sight of the Qeya - this is not the way she has crossed the river before and with the rain in her eyes, Liri doesn't recognize it. The rain has swelled it some, this section must have been one of the few to possess rapids, and now it churns dangerously - a watery grave for anyone foolish enough to get too close. 

Liri stops, thwarted by the river and knowing the only shelter at their backs are the meadows and their damned rocks. For a moment she is lost, unsure what to do. Then with a determined set of her jaw and a nip to get Kavik's attention, she heads downstream. 

The spirit is unsure where exactly she's going, she just wants somewhere to dry her soggy coat and warm up at her giant's side. Just as the first waves of doubt begin to break over her, she spots something ahead. It's a mere dark smudge through the rain but Liri bumps Kavik's shoulder.

"There!" she calls, shouting to be heard over the sudden boom of thunder - so loud it leaves her ears ringing. With an exchanged look of mutual agreement, the couple hastens towards the shape. 

The sylph is wary at first, ears pricked and dark eyes honed on their destination, searching for any sign of danger. As they get closer, the blur reveals itself to be a strand of straggling saplings, several young willows intertwined on the bank overlooking a much calmer stretch of the Qeya. One of the larger boulders, a commodity to be sure, appears to have long ago crashed against the trees - creating a sheltered cove with an overhang for them to sleep beneath. 

Liri shoots Kavik a wet smile and climbs beneath the, thank heavens, dry overhang with a useless shake of her achromatic coat and settles in against him. The petite healer practically burrows into him, trying to curl as closely against him as possible. 

The thunder is booming and lightning flashes though Liri can't pinpoint where in the sky it's so dark. Liri's freezing, trembling and chattering beside her male. Soon enough they warm to each other's body heat and most of her trembles still. The Blackfoot gives a tiny sigh, weary to the bone, and rests her damp head on the ground - against Kavik's chest so as to hear his heartbeat.

It soon became apparent that they should have headed home earlier. Kavik had been selfish, wanting to steal as much time as he could lying in the grass with Liri, pretending the real world didn't exist. Had he known the cost of that selfishness, he would have gladly given up the extra time to get home safely. He should have headed the ominous warning of the dark storm clouds in the distance.

Now, heavy rain poured from the sky and beat against them, unforgiving and seeming like it would never stop. His little wolf shivered furiously against him as they made their way in the direction they thought was the sanctuary. His thick coat was soaked through to the skin, and the cold seeped into his bones. If he was cold, he knew she had to be even colder. He tried to shelter her as best he could from the rain as they moved, but it seemed to come from all directions, thwarting his efforts. She was shaking so much, but he didn't know how to help her other than continue to remain as close as possible, offering her any warmth he had left as they tried to make sense of this mess. 

It was soon dark, and the rain had yet to cease, making it even harder to figure out where they were going. He quickly realized that they were not heading towards the sanctuary anymore. He was cursing himself. He was supposed to keep her safe and right now, she was quite the opposite of safe. To make things worse, they had now reached a large river that raged angrily in front of them, promising death to anyone unlucky enough to fall in. They both seemed to stop at the same time, coming to the realization that they could not move any closer to the fast-moving river in front of them. He tried to look through the heavy droplets of water to find any kind of shelter from the never-ending downpour. He felt her nip then and looked to see her motion that they should head downstream. He thought maybe she had caught sight of something that promised shelter, so he walked in the direction she pointed, still plastered to her side in an effort to protect her from the cold and the wet.

He heard her speak even with the sudden booming of thunder, and soon saw what she had also seen. With a look to Liri to make sure she was on the same page, he moved with her. Ahead of them was a large boulder crashed conveniently into a tree creating a makeshift refuge from the storm. 

Once inside, they both attempted to shake the water from their fur. Afterwards, his dark hair stuck out in all different directions. He felt his little wolf burrow into him seeking warmth he was glad to give. Lying down, he wrapped himself around her, relief flooding through him when she finally stopped shaking. With a few kisses to her cheek, he placed his head on the ground next to hers, grateful for their stroke of luck at finding this place to ride out the storm.

Liri takes a moment to enjoy the warmth of him around her, the scent of them heavy and damp in the misty air. There's agitation in her chest - she's not been a fan of storms since the locusts - but Liri forces herself to remain calm though her ears remained flattened against the deafening sounds of thunder. The pallid sylph twists a bit in her position to clean mud and grit from her coat before turning to Kavik's wild black mane. She gives him a fond chuckle - admiring how cute he can be - and does her best to straighten it out for him. 

Once they're clean - or clean as they can be - Liri rests against him, trying to block out the storm. She fails. 

The sylph turns and finds herself gazing at Kavik with an expression of intrigue and adoration, as if seeing him all over again for the first time. Her oak eyes trace the features of his face, lingering on his verdant optics and daringly; the girl's eyes flick down to his lips. He's everything she wanted from Remo as a child and everything she expected of Samuel. He's beautiful, she's decided some time ago, and he's strong and he's so fucking perfect that Liri is afraid that by getting too close she will besmirch him with her own shortcomings. 

"It took me so long to find you," she whispers aloud without meaning to. Her voice catches in her throat, choked with an emotion she dares not name. 

If...if she says it aloud, it's real. It won't just be a secret between them that everyone pretends not to know.

If it's real, it can be used to hurt her; Kavik could hurt her. Kavik could leave her. 

"Do you still want to know the rest of the story?" Liri turns away slightly, turning her speckled face to the darkness. She seems especially tiny against him and there's a vulnerability to the hunch of her shoulders, to the tone of her voice.

Her heart's about to pound right out of her chest and there's a prickling heat behind her eyes that feels suspiciously like tears. Liri curses them and herself - wishing she hadn't asked but seeing no way around it. If she's going to love him it will be with every piece of her heart and he must know it first.

If he was going to be offended by her damaged pieces - though she doubts this, or maybe just fervently hopes he won't - let it be now while she might still have a slim chance to recover.

Kavik closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh as Liri cleaned his fur. Any tension left in his large body melted away at her touch. She was the sole being with the power to calm him with touch alone. It might have scared him at one point, but he'd accepted his deep feelings for Liri a while ago, no longer questioning the intensity.  

They were both quiet for long moment, the only sounds were of the storm still raging outside. He felt her gaze on him and at her words, he turned to her with loving smile. "I'm so happy you did," he said, briefly touching his muzzle to hers before meeting her dark gaze again. 

With her next comment, Kavik froze. He knew it would be hard for her to talk about it, and even though he didn't know the details of that part of her past, he somehow knew that hearing them would make him angrier then he had ever been in his life. Someone didn't act that way in response to intimacy unless there was something dark and violent in their past. 

Her tone and the way her shoulders fell killed him. He pressed his head to her cheek in comfort before quietly saying, "Only if you're ready to tell me." and he meant it. He wanted to know everything about her, but only if she felt comfortable telling him.

With their closeness, it was easy to hear the quickening of her heart rate. "Shhh," he whispered soothingly as he rubbed his cheek back and forth against hers. "I'm here no matter what." He wasn't sure why her heart beat so nervously, but he wanted so badly to quiet her distress and this was the only way he knew how.

The knot forming in her chest abates at his soft cajoling. Her heart, flitting like a frightened bird, doesn't not completely still; she's still incredibly nervous. It does settle a bit - it's manageable. Liri doesn't respond, she just nods and takes a deep breath. 

She tells Kavik the first half of her life. 

The sylph starts with her parents - how her mother, Ectsi, saved her father, Jono, from a cow elk he'd taken on by himself. It had been foolish, a single lone wolf could not hope to bring down an elk, but it's leg had been injured and her father was a bold young man then. Her mother, with the help of some close friends, had saved him and taken Jono back to their pack. 

It was there that her parents grew close and eventually fell in love. They married in secrecy; for the Beta had made clear his intentions to possess Ectsi, who was famed for her beauty from a young age. Her parents were at peace for two short months until Ectsi went into heat; it came down to a battle with the Beta who sought to claim her which led to them fleeing the pack altogether. 

They searched but it proved to be fruitless - Ectsi died giving birth before they found another pack, or a healer. Jono and his three infants were found by a scout and were eventually accepted into a small tribe - loosely translated, the Moonrise Tribe. 

Liri tells him what it was like to grow up there. She'd been the first to learn the 'old tongue' as the tribe called it but that meant being the first to understand their position. Liri knew, even as a young child, these were not a people who loved her. They were different, outsiders, even amongst their own kind. 

Liri tells him of the old ones, who ran the Council and had taken her from a young age to learn the healing arts. Some had spat on this but the old ones said she had talent; there wasn't anything you could do once the elders spoke. Liri never been so happy. She tells him of the ice fields and hunting the rubbery seals, of the giant white ice bears, of the cold sea and tasting rich whale whenever it washed ashore. Liri tells him of the snow and the lights that danced in the sky. 

Her childhood memories don't contain much about her father - other than sharing his den. Leto is the one she speaks of, with pain. She'd been small and mousy but Leto had always been fierce and quick to anger; her older brother had been the one to protect them from the tribal children. The first mouse she'd caught had been with Leto. He was the one who taught her to move so silently, to disappear into the shadows and escape notice. He'd taught her to swim, he'd taught her to fight - Liri had loved him with her whole soul and the betrayal still stings. 

Liri tells him of Ameta. Her strange, silent sister. Ameta was capable of speech, she just didn't want to speak it seemed. Liri had loved her and it had made little difference. Leto had protected Liri but Liri had always protected Ameta. She was sweet and kind and Liri's and the northron had never forgiven Leto for his part in her death. 

She tells him of the plague and fleeing; of the thunderstorm not unlike this one and how Leto used it to abandon them. Liri tells him of surviving in the wilderness as a pup with only Ameta, who was eventually lost to a bear. 

Liri turns away as she speaks of Remo, of how he tricked her and took her home to be his. Liri tells him of Hagga and what it was like to have step-children, some of which were older than her. She tells him of fighting them off, Remo and Absen, her husband and oldest step-son. She doesn't leave out anything - not the abuse or the awful sounds Hagga made in the night, her fault for not succumbing to Remo, or her terrifying escape. That night had been one of the worst of her life. She'd spent it huddled in a cold stream, hidden from sight under a bank, as they tried to sniff her out. 

Liri tells him of her first time discovering Teekon Wilds, a yearling then, of meeting Aaron and being taken into Rosings. She tells him of the marriage she was again forced into, this time with the sweet Samuel. He'd never hurt her but looking back, the love she had for him had been of different stock than she had for Kavik. She'd cared for him but he hadn't had her heart. 

Liri tells him of the locusts and famine, of Kierkegaard and Pallas, of the end of her life in Rosings. She tells him of Aaron's leaving and Amara's descent into madness. Liri tells him how she had only held the forest for a week before losing it all. 

She tells him of traveling west and losing Leto and Minna, her closest friend, her sister-in-law, her Beta. She'd left Zavier then, or maybe it was Zander, she no longer recalls. They'd been trying to found a new pack but everyone had abandoned her, she no longer cared. She left to find them but she ran into trouble - angry and grieving, she'd gotten into a couple of fights. 

Finally, Liri presses close to Kavik, hiding her face within the ruff of his neck. With the taste of bile in her mouth, she whispers to him about the man. He'd been bigger, stronger. Liri had tried, she'd fought with everything she had but there was no gaining the upper hand. He'd forced her to her knees and ripped her apart. Liri can still taste the dirt in her mouth. 

She tells him of the blurry memories of afterwards, of fleeing as far as she could. She'd found herself in a dark forest, ominous in a way Blackfoot Forest was not, the borders dripping blood and layered with carnage. The fae doesn't know how long she was kept in that cave, surviving off rats and the stagnant pools of water. She doesn't remember escaping. A whole season had passed, it had been midwinter, when she found herself in the mountains. She'd been weak and emaciated, covered in the various wounds where they'd tortured her for trespassing. 

After meeting Burke, she'd agreed to travel to his son's pack - Broken Antler Fen. It had seemed safer to travel with a group and she'd hidden in the Fen for some time before daring to venture into the outside world.

"Now you know," she whispers, still pressed against him. Her voice is tiny, drained of emotion and apprehensive. "I'm fucked up." 

It sounds broken. She feels like an icicle, the kind that hung from her cave in the north. Any second now, she'll fall and shatter into thousands of little pieces.

 Please, she wants to say, please don't break me. I can't put myself back together, not again.

He listened quietly as she told him of her past. He had promised himself that he wouldn't interrupt her, no mater how angry he might become. He knew it was hard for her to tell him all of this, and he didn't want to make it about him and his anger. 

At first, he felt only sadness as he listened to her tell of her parents; How they had to hide their love from a male that clearly shouldn't have had power over others, and how their fleeing left her pregnant mother vulnerable and lead to her death. 

It sounded like the tribe that took her family in had its good and bad elements, but it ultimately lead to her finding and honing her gift, which he agreed she was a natural at. Her brother sounded like a coward, though, and he found it hard to stay quite through his anger at the thought of him leaving his two sisters to fend for themselves. That selfish decision had lead to the death of Liri's sister, which was unforgivable in Kavik's eyes. He would never abandon those he cared about; he would easily give his life to save someone he loved. He didn't understand anyone who would behave differently. 

He silently added this Remo to the list of wolves he would kill on sight, no questions asked; Another wolf from Liri's past that didn't deserve to live. Once again, he was unfazed by his violent need to take out anyone that caused harm to Liri. She was his, and that meant he would do anything he could to protect her from any further hurt. 

She told him that once reaching Teekon, she was again forced into a union she didn't agree to. This male at least sounded somewhat decent. At least he wasn't cruel to Liri. Although, he didn't think very highly of any male that forced a female to be his wife. He didn't give a shit about the events surrounding it; he would have found another way.

Then, she buried her face in his neck and told him of the piece of shit that had forced himself on her. The rage he felt at that was so intense, that he was briefly frozen under the weight of it. Son of a bitch. He wanted to cuss and rage and kill. His need to bathe in the bastard's blood was a raging fire in his chest; a fire that could only be extinguished by feeling the life draining from that motherfucker as he ripped out his throat.

Still reeling from the his uncontrollable rage, he somehow managed to listen to the end of her story. Although, it may have been better if he hadn't been able to process the words, because they just fed the murderous fire raging inside him. 

Her words brought him back from the darkness, though. She was probably the only one who could at that point. "You are not fucked up," he said, his tone more rough than he had meant it to be. He nuzzled her neck, taking in her scent, and centering himself before he continued. "I think you're strong and resilient and--amazing," he said, the last word filled with adoration. "And as long as I am breathing, I will never let anything like that happen to you ever again." Resolve and determination filled his expression with that statement. He had never spoke truer words than the promise he just made to her. 

"But, Liri," he paused, his face falling into an unreadable expression save for the sadness in his deep green eyes. "You don't feel forced with me, do you?" The question was quiet and apprehensive. He was intense and possessive, and she never complained about it. He couldn't help but wonder if she felt like she had no choice but to deal with it. He would die if she felt that way; his heart would literally break. He had to know she didn't feel like she had no say in this before they went any further in their relationship.

Liri can feel the anger twisting inside of him like a snake, a being brought to life in the wake of her tale. For an awful moment, the fae is worried it's directed at her. Shaking, she presses close to him, seeking to rub her crown against the bottom of his jaw if he'll let her. 

When his words reach her, she stifles a flinch - afraid the words will hurt her. As they settle, she knows for a second a dull shock followed by relief so intense she makes a soft sound between a laugh and a sob. Briefly, the sylph buries her face against his dark shoulder to compose herself. 

She's brought back out again, shaky with relief and feeling oddly light with the weight of hiding so much taken off her shoulders, only by his next words. She's surprised - she's never considered what Kavik's suggesting. The sylph takes a moment to think on it, to be sure of her next words.

"If you wish for the truth, Kavik, part of me has belonged to you since I first met you," the fae whispers, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. She thinks back on the night in the meadow where she knew that Kavik was her future.

The two closest experiences with love that she had, Samuel and Horosk, didn't compare. With Samuel she thought if she gave it time, she could grow to love him. With Horosk, it had been a confused connection - it had been fleeting. 

"You are my fate. I knew when I met you that I would love you and nothing has made me happier," Liri murmurs, kissing him softly with promise.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief at her answer. He returned her kiss, but his was not soft; it was needy and demanding. He pulled away to met her gaze. "I felt the same pull the night we met." His eyes glittered with his unspoken love. "and I'm keeping you forever," he added with a tender smile. He knew he loved her, but he couldn't say the words. It was a problem he had often; not being able to put words to his feelings. 

He pressed his head to her cheek and kept it there, hoping his inability to speak his love didn't hurt her. If she could just be patient, he knew for her, he would be able to say it eventually.

It doesn't slip her notice that he doesn't say it back but Liri's pleased either way. Kavik is not such an emotional creature as she is - she's always been passionate, sometimes too much, and quick to express her feelings with those she's closest to. She can wait for Kavik to be ready, as he waited for her. 

The sylph kisses him again with the same fervor he possessed, feeling again that need from their first kiss. It's not frightening now, but resoundingly right. Liri's aware of how close they're pressed together and how hard her heart is pounding with excitement. When the fae finally breaks the kiss her breathing is harsh and she has to hide her face against him again to regain her control. 

She nips his neck lightly, soothing it with a lap of her tongue, breathing in his scent and growing heady on it.

Not only had she not faulted him for his reticence, but she had kissed him again. This kiss was different than her last and it caused desire to settle in his stomach. She pulled away, though, and pressed her face to his neck. His breathing matched hers as did his racing heart.

Her nip and responding licks furthered his need. This time was different than the last time, he knew that. But even though she seemed at ease, excited even, he needed to know she wanted this right now. He would not push again; every part of his body shied away at the thought of causing her any discomfort. He, of course, had thought of this moment every day; he couldn't help it. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, and her scent drove him crazy, and even though he couldn't say it, he loved her more than he could currently process.  

He nosed her cheek, urging her to lift her head back up to meet his eyes. He couldn't say the words, though; his eyes just bored into hers with the unspoken question.

He turns her head back to him, to his intense summer gaze and the question that lingers there. Liri's frozen there under his eyes and her breath is caught in her throat, her words have been lost somewhere in their kiss. Unable to speak, Liri can only answer with a small nod. She licks her lips nervously, unsure how to go about this. That inexperienced feeling is back  but the northron persists, stretching her neck to kiss him sweetly on one dark cheek. 

Her muzzle sweeps slowly through his fur as she takes her time nibbling down his neck, grooming him again - this time in adoration. A soft hum of curious excitement leaves her throat - a rough noise. 

She bites him, gently, on the shoulder as if to encourage him, her breathing quickening as she moves along his onyx body. The storm, the Sanctuary, everything's forgotten except for Kavik.

She nodded, once again not needing his words to know what he was thinking. She seemed a little nervous and, honestly, he he was feeling a little nervous, too. He had only had fleeting encounters before Liri. The need he felt right now was like nothing he had ever felt before; It threatened take over his every sense, and he didn't want to hurt her or do something wrong. 

When she started grooming him, he let out a heavy breath, his desire increasing with every touch. He let out a sultry chuckle at her sweet little sound. And when she moved beside him and nipped him once more, he understood the invitation. His anticipation was so heavy, he as sure it was tangible at this point. Nothing could have stopped him from being with her at that moment; his need and love for his little wolf taking complete control of his actions. Even though their sizes were so opposite, they fit perfectly together like each of them was created with the other in mind. 

Shall we leave the rest up to interpretation?

The nip had the right effect, spurring her giant into action. As he moves towards her, there's a moment where the sylph is obviously perplexed on how to do this with only three legs to prop her up. Liri winds up huddled on the ground, bad leg curled beneath her. With the memory of her rape still fresh in her mind's eye, the girl's apprehensive. Her ears tip back and a tiny whine escapes her - almost inaudible. 

Kavik seems to understand this, stopping to groom her as she did him. It's gentle, the way he touches her, as if she is something special. Liri practically purrs at his attentions. Kavik soothes her with soft words and when she's ready, she steals a last kiss before telling him. 

The two meld together instinctively; as if made to fit their counterpart. They dance, interwined like a yin and yang symbol, and the last of hazy memories of Horosk, flickering like a dying candle, are replaced by the inferno that is Kavik's touch. 

When it's done, she's breathless and trembling again, though for different reasons, and curls against Kavik's broad side - speechless. Immersed in a happy afterglow, the girl kisses his inky cheek and whispers a hoarse, "I love you."

Afterwards, Kavik wrapped around Liri as she pressed herself to his side. Her words were the only thing that could pull him from his euphoric fog.

He wanted so much to return those words. He felt the same way, but when he tried to say it, nothing came out. Why was it so hard for him? He freely admitted to himself that he loved the beautiful women at his side. So why did the words refuse to come out? She had just offered him the gift of her body after everything she had been through, and he still couldn't say it. He felt like an asshole. Letting out a defeated sigh, he returned her kiss and pressed his head to her cheek. 

He had felt her trembling, and it brought him back to her moment of hesitation right before their coalescence. He had honestly almost called it off, but when his soothing seemed to drive away any fear she may have had, making her receptive again, he had continued. Now that he was thinking more clearly, he worried about whether or not she had felt forced by his coaxing. He pulled his head from hers and with concern in his eyes, he asked "Are you okay? I...didn't make you feel forced...before, did I?" He had tried really hard to be gentle and go at her pace even with his desire threatening to consume him; he hated the thought that he may have pushed her again, and pain filled his expression at the thought.

He curls around her and Liri can't stop herself from rubbing her muzzle idly through his fur - absent-mindedly but as if to be closer to him. The fae doesn't really feel any different than before she'd given herself to Kavik; she does feel a morph in their relationship. They've become something new, whether they're now lovers or mates she doesn't know. The Blackfoot stores it away with other things to contemplate - where they're going, what they'll do now after losing their way to the Sanctuary - all to be brooded over at a later time.

He doesn't say it back but Liri didn't expect him to. In time, she will; for now, she's satisfied with his actions. Kavik cares for her, loves her, this she knows. She can feel it as surely as she can feel her heart beat.

"No," she chuckles softly, nipping his ear affectionately. "I enjoyed myself," it's quiet, still a tad shy as she breathes it against his neck.

She doesn't know how to explain that it's not Kavik or her feelings for him that make her this way; doesn't know how to tell him that she'll always be haunted by what's happened. No one ever truly comes back, not after losing so much of yourself, and part of her will always be tormented. 

Some territorial part of her is immensely pleased that their smells are mingled together on their skin. She hums softly, breathing him in. Her possessive heart tells her that Kavik is hers; she'll likely spend the rest of her days making sure he's perfumed in her smell.

Kavik's shoulders dropped as the tension left his body at her words. "So did I," he said grinning. He knew the memories of this night would be something he cherished; something he would reach for in hard times when he needed to feel hope.

They had much to discuss. They were now on their own, which caused a whole new set of worries for him; the biggest being keeping Liri safe. It would be hard for them without all that a pack had to offer, but they were both strong, and he had no doubt they would figure something out. 

Right now, he just wanted to savor this moment; the way his little wolf felt against him and the way her scent had changed slightly as it mixed with his. His worries about their future could wait a little longer. So, he rested his head on her shoulders and let out a long satisfied sigh, eventually falling asleep like that.