April 07, 2019, 03:51 PM
for april's theme of creation, loosely interpreted; names are creations, too.
when his eyes open that day, he knows. for a few moments he lay in his marriage bed, entwined around @Olive and @Seabreeze, letting the feeling of knowing hold him steadfast. this is not the catastrophe of knowledge he has felt before -- it is as gentle and undeniable as the hint of salt that still clings to seabreeze's coat, even after all this time.
after some time he at last withdraws from his wives, his feet leading him to some final destination he doesn't know yet. olive's spiritualities have rubbed off well on him, for he finds himself at the base of the willow tree she'd placed their gift from moonspear. a twinge of guilt distracts him momentarily as his eyes land on the strange rock -- where had he been during their last few festivals? alone and sulking, or otherwise unhelpful -- but he pauses the thought. olive and seabreeze do not hold him in contempt for his discrepancies, and he doubts he is even known enough amongst the rest of their wolves to mind.
all of this, he can forgive himself of.
and so lowering himself, he leans in close and breathes his name into the stone, abandoning, with it, the weight of his past sins, the burden of his history. for so long he'd chased history, afraid that without it, he'd wither into nothing. but he can hold history without it consuming him. he is not going to fall apart here.
nameless for the moment, he pulls back and lets himself take it in, the lack now defining him. it feels good, and for a moment, he contemplates letting himself stay nameless -- but is quick to dismiss that. it would only be another form of running away, and what he is doing here isn't erasing, it is creating. there is already a new name for him, one he's picked secretly and held close without daring to speak it into reality, until today. he'll need to tell brilliance, and olive and seabreeze, of course -- but there is no hurry in this. they will accept him as he is, and the rest will follow. he is sure of this.
but we were worried that you'd fallen in the river, or worse
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
This morning, @Qilaq volunteered to watch her babies after they'd kept her up the entire night. She trusted the dark girl enough—had grown to love her, even—and so, with a murmured farewell and a smile, she slipped away from the den, bleary and exhausted, barely feeling the ground she walked upon. On and on she went, until. . .
Not like it was either of their faults, really. They had both been tied up in their own duties and responsibilities, lost in that, and had thus lost sight of each other. It was okay; neither of them had been very close to one another, though Lily had always wanted to get to know him more. But the distance was okay. It was not toxic, at least.
She padded toward him, tail swinging behind her and a smile upon her face.
Oh, hallo,Lily called out softly, eyes falling upon the dark, lithe form of the former Shiva.
How are you? I feel like it's been forever and a day since I've seen you.
Not like it was either of their faults, really. They had both been tied up in their own duties and responsibilities, lost in that, and had thus lost sight of each other. It was okay; neither of them had been very close to one another, though Lily had always wanted to get to know him more. But the distance was okay. It was not toxic, at least.
She padded toward him, tail swinging behind her and a smile upon her face.
April 08, 2019, 04:42 PM
he is not expecting lily to appear -- surely her children are still too little? -- but it is not an unwelcome surprise. "lily," he returns, softly, and then, "i'm well, thank you. it has been a while." too long, though at least in her case it's slightly justifiable. pregnancy fills him with an uncomfortable sort of longing; he'll swallow it for olive (and she's so good at making him part of it anyway) -- but the rest, oh. well.
"how are the little ones?" he asks, the hidden apology for not coming to visit yet not-so-much. still, all that guilt belongs to his old name: pulling it into the light, he adds, "i'm sorry i haven't been by yet -- i needed to get rid of my old name, first."
but we were worried that you'd fallen in the river, or worse
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
April 08, 2019, 08:46 PM
She nodded in answer to the sentiment, only a reiteration of what she'd been thinking.
As for his apology—oh. Well. As for tackling the first part of his apology—
Goodness, she really didn't know him much at all, did she?
Oh, growing like weeds,Lily chuckled, shaking her head ruefully.
Getting into all kinds of trouble. It's hard to be cross with such cute little things, though, at least for long.
As for his apology—oh. Well. As for tackling the first part of his apology—
No 'sorry' needed. Come by anytime; they'd love to meet you,she insisted, and then she felt her head tilt in obvious query.
Your 'old name'? Do you mean Delight or. . .or your surname?she finished lamely, realizing that she didn't even know it.
Goodness, she really didn't know him much at all, did she?
April 11, 2019, 05:15 PM
his smile, when it comes, is wan, recalling his first litter's tumultous infancy. it is too late to mourn that failure -- brilliance is still here, and mali, should their paths cross again, well.. ariel would not hold any punishment against him. letting his attention return to the present, he grins, and ducks his head, bashful under her very-fair question.
there is a part of him that squeals anxiously, but lily will not think it strange, he doesn't think. or if she does, she'll have tact about it, which is better than nothing. "my - yes, delight." there is no magic moment where saying it feels strange -- it has been his name for so long it still feels natural to him. but he pushes ahead anyway, gesturing toward the rock. "i have wanted to.. give that part of myself up for some time, and with the new babies coming... it seemed like the right time." of course now he has to actually say the name and that seems -- difficult. it takes a beat for him to compose himself. "so.. ariel. still singing-sunlight; i dont want to start over with nothing, i just want.. a fresh perspective, if that makes sense?" and here some of that anxiety does sneak plainly into his tone, watching carefully for her reaction as the question lilts his tone.
but we were worried that you'd fallen in the river, or worse
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
April 12, 2019, 03:03 PM
Ariel Singing-Sunlight,she tested each name on her tongue, having never heard any of them before. Lily smiled at him.
It suits you, I think. I hope that it'll bring you that fresh perspective.
Lily had never thought about names in that way before. She supposed it made sense; the name was such a core part of identity, after all. And names you could change, unlike physical features or traits, so there was more freedom in that realm. She'd never considered it herself, but she could grasp, in some way, his point of view.
She paused a moment to ponder all this, then broke the silence once more.
Have you told anyone else?she asked.
Brillo, Olive, Seabreeze. . .?It seemed quite strange that she could be the first to know. It gave her a rush, a small little kernel of pride that he'd chosen her. Though perhaps it was more a "right place, right time" scenario. . .
Still. It was quite something, right?
April 16, 2019, 10:27 AM
it suits you, she says, and a warm blush explodes under his fur. it is one thing to be told that your name is interesting or unique -- as has been often said to him -- and another to hear that the name that you've chosen fits you. it's powerful. feeling vulnerable, he turns his face slightly, a smile lingering on his mouth.
"not yet," he says, still averting his gaze -- it is, he supposes, a special thing. it is nice that he trusts her enough for this, he decides, and looks back up at her. "it was sort of an impulsive decision this morning -- i mean, i'd been thinking about it for a while, but i just woke up and it felt -- right. the season, maybe." he half-shrugs and smiles again uselessly, unsure if he's really saying anything at all. an urge to pivot from himself strikes, and he says, "speaking of names, though -- what of your children?"
but we were worried that you'd fallen in the river, or worse
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
but then you sent us back a letter, it said in capital letters
"THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU"
So she was the first to know. With more consideration, it felt a little strange—but she was honored, nonetheless. Ariel. She thought it over and over, trying to solidify the new name. Match it with his face. It may take some time but. . .well, if this was what he wanted, she would make the best possible effort.
Lily smiled at the question.
She sighed, a little wistfully.
Ariel was right. Names were powerful things. She hadn't really thought of it until now, mulling over her reasons.
Lily smiled at the question.
Well, Ziggy is the pale boy. . .I was having trouble finding a name for him. I was going to name him after Korei if he was a girl, but, erm, no such luck,she giggled.
So he's named after the first sound he made, roughly. I think it's kind of cute.
She sighed, a little wistfully.
Cam is named for a brother I never knew,she said.
A stillborn pup I helped deliver. And Lana for. . .do you remember Eris, Alarian's sister? Her other name was Lanawyn, the name she carried when I met her. It's only fitting that my little girl be named after one of my first and closest friends here.
Ariel was right. Names were powerful things. She hadn't really thought of it until now, mulling over her reasons.
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