Neverwinter Forest She found the love she hoped she would,

@Liliana

She wondered how her daughter had felt. Miriam had left her and promised to return, but she promised with Asmoses. Instead the mother came back with only guilt, and without her dear son, and a brother. She was avoiding quite a few packmates and sought her daughter more of all-

did she still love Miriam?

liliana’s decision to avoid miriam had been made with intention. she wanted her mother to know how much this absence had hurt her, but couldn’t yet find the words to explain. instead, yana decided that she would explain her feelings non-verbally — by making miriam search for her, the same way she had. 

it wasn’t an accident that liliana crossed miriam’s path, either. she had to know where her mother was at all times in order to avoid her.. or in this case, stalk her like prey. yana crept in the shadows within earshot, waiting patiently to see what miriam might do next.

It was hard to describe how she felt these pass days. The loss of her son, and the rejection of her daughter stung deep within. Not to mention the knowing of Cupid was not here to comfort, and any talk with Mal would only be met with a head shake. She did not know who to count as a friend, and so the mother mourned alone in the forest.

Miriam didn't notice her daughter- because she fell into the ground with a loud sobbering noise. Her heart cracking into two as shell into a despair of sadness. All she wanted to do, was cry away the days.

immediately, liliana jerked forward, but stopped herself before coming into view. beneath her, brittle leaves cracked in protest, while those still attached to bush-branches rustled to reveal her position.

it would have been difficult to miss her again, given the circumstances. yana didn’t want to give miriam the satisfaction of spotting and calling for her daughter; instead, she walked into view by her own volition.

here, she could see the sadness on her mother’s expression, and lamented her own lack of empathy.

Finally did she see her daughter once more. Grown bigger, though Miriam still saw her as fragile as ever. Her little daughter, with beautifully golden and silver eyes, a lilac pelt with spots of their father. A lovely lady, and if Asmoses would appear, he would grow into the muscle and become a wonderous warrior of the Horned God.

The mother opened her mouth, but closed on hesitation. She tried one more, "Liliana," she stepped forward, but refrained any further. She knew how much her daughter had been hurt, the way she looked at Miriam. No words were expressed, but the avoidance and looks, were clear-

she betrayed her.

"Do I deserve your forgiveness?"

a single tear fell from liliana’s eye, despite her efforts to refrain. she stamped one foot in protest, then turned away from miriam, flagging her tail angrily behind her.

why did miriam have to make things so difficult? liliana wondered; her mother was the common denominator in every bad thing that had ever happened to her, except the worst of them.

she turned back after hearing the question. no, she barked, because.. because none of us deserve anything. liliana’s conversations with their deities led her to believe that they were all unworthy, and it was that unholiness which had caused her pain.

and i don’t want to give it anyway, because you hurt me bad. she looked then, plainly at miriam with a knotted brow, it’s not fair. i don’t need you here anymore.

"But I need you." She stopped closer, desperation written through her words and her face. She had lost her son, she had lost her purity, and Miriam didn't want to loose her daughter as well. The only family she had in these wilds, and in no way, would she want to ever lose her children.

They were the reason to stay, "I'm sorry," but the first step to everything, was an apology, "I-," though she also knew, an excuse could not justify what had happen. She wanted to find Asmoses, her lost son. Even he could be in the same situation as Liliana once was, but, she also left her daughter who was still healing from the situation.

An undeserving mother, who bit her lip, "Do you want me to leave?"

well, did she? miriam’s question was complicated; while liliana meant what she said about not needing her mother anymore, she didn’t know if her leaving again was a fair compromise. it felt like miriam wanted to leave, and that was a part of the problem.

why do you keep giving up on me? yana whined, taking a heavy step forward, you keep wanting to run away from me. did i do something wrong? despite mal’s many reassurances that she was loved and wanted, she still struggled with believing it.

Perhaps Miriam did want to leave- and would never admit so. She did crave the life back to exploring, but she also did love her life with her children. She wanted to watch them grow up, and decide for themselves to explore life, just as she had done upon becoming a yearling. As the way of the Orchid, she was so used to.

"I never gave you up- or Asmoses," her heart clunched at thought where he might be, "you never did anything wrong. Even the Goddess, can see the purity and blessing in your heart. It is I, who has sinned." 

To lose Liliana, was the cost of losing Asmoses. To find Asmoses, was the cost of losing Liliana- Miriam heart was torn into two, both of her children lost in the world, and yet.. She couldn't help either.

there’s.. no, she said, you’re wrong. miriam’s words were heretical, sinful; whomever she’d learned these things from surely hadn’t been in communication with the same god and goddess as liliana.

again, that was beside the point. you don’t have to give me up, because i.. i give you up! it was an angry declaration that didn’t make much sense, given yana’s partial emotional dependency on miriam that did still remain, but it made her feel better to say it aloud.

you can't do anything right. you couldn't keep asmoses here and you couldn't find him, either. if you really loved him, then he wouldn't have left. it was the same reason she was planning her own escape from these borders.

Her words completely shattered Miriam's heart, and her face visibly shown how hurt she was, as the water works slowly flooded to beautiful crystals. What she said was true, she couldn't keep her son around, and even upon noticing how sad he seemed to be; she didn't do anything but try to coo' star-lores to him so.

"I'm sorry."

Even as Liliana was hurt, the best she could do as preach to the Goddess.

"I'm sorry."

And even so, never once did the Goddess guide her so. Only to lead to heartbreak, her sons disappearence, and her daughters dispair.

"I'm sorry."

What else could be said but desperation? No excuse could be made, nor' words deserving of this moment, "I do love you, Yana, i'm sorry, I never gave up on you." Especially so, that her daughter stated she had given up on Miriam.

exit, unless miriam wants to chase!

miriam’s many pleas for forgiveness brought accompanying waves of nausea that washed unforgivingly over liliana’s body. she lurched and hurled, but nothing came — only the echoes of her gagging through the forest’s reach.

and when she was finished, and miriam said her last words, liliana simply turned away to find somewhere she alone could tend her wounds.

AND SHE CHASES

Her daughter had been left alone for so long, and when saw Liliana flee- Miriam gave chase. She didn't realize it when her paws were running, and was confused on why the scenary had changed. Her body moved by force, a given chase to try and fix the past mistakes.. Though she was an adult, lean muscles from the year of travelling..

The mother wanted to grab her daughter into an embrace, but she didn't have the heart to forcibly grab her, only to follow.