Dragoncrest Cliffs Traveling the line of this vertigo

She hadn't realized how distant Thuringwethil had seemed until her mate closed that distance, embracing her. A sob wrenched loose from Wildfire and she probably took both of them by surprise by suddenly grasping the Heda and burying her teary, snotty face in the thick fur of her neck. She clung to the commander through her few but soothing words, shaking her head and really making a mess of the larger woman's pelt. For several beats after Thuringwethil finished speaking, Wildfire remained latched to her, sniffling and snotting and shaking her head slowly back and forth.

"They are," she mumbled miserably, "but what about Antler? What about Phoenix?" Her voice went up a few octaves as the latter's name fell from her lips, breaking her heart all over again. Antler's fate had been a genetic misfortune but Phoenix's had been her fault directly. She felt bile rising in her throat as she recollected the feeling of her own foot crushing his little body against the wall. "I don't deserve—" Wildfire didn't complete her sentence, mostly because she wasn't entirely sure what she'd been meaning to say.

With a shaky breath, she finally released her mate and pushed back to peer down at Artaax, Blixen and Robin sat between them. "It—it's more than just Antler and Phoenix," she confessed while she was at it. "Ever since the morning after they were born, I've felt—this horrible disconnect. I don't feel like..." Her voice trailed away into pensive silence. Her eyes slowly closed, staying that way as she exhaled through her nose and queried, "Do you—love them?"