Seaside Moors and he sang about what i'd become

@Aningan <3
wotd; compunction

how is it that time had managed to slink past so languidly without her realising? since the day that rowan had been allowed roam within the clutches of rusalka, she'd intended to speak to both him and the ivory leader that had granted him said access. yet somehow the intentions would be lingering uselessly in the back of her mind by the end of each lazily passing day spent roaming borders or pondering over various conjectures. the thoughts that would intrude harshly to preoccupy her mind most days were always in relation to the life she had thus far lived. so many chapters, all so wildly different in their intricately woven idiosyncrasies and yet always lingering one step ahead...the pursuit of happiness. 

it plagued her waking moments, being the exact thing to dart about her mind when she'd stumbled across rowan and now still it roamed as she sought aningan. the determination to have words with the polar boy reignited after finally conversing with the blackfeather child. she was weighed down by the constant concern that she hungered for something that did not truly exist and therefore, her search was fruitless and would result in restless chagrin that would haunt her steps for the rest of her days. it was a shockingly terrifying idea, despite its tame demeanour, to spend a life miserable after trying so hard to capture true bliss. one would think, that after what she had escaped, anything would appear worthy of content in comparison? yet perhaps wistful reveries that had kept her afloat during the most brutal of days had painted a life that exceeded the world's abilities. or maybe it ran even deeper...a fear at wasting the life that had been gifted to her and yet robbed from faolan, yet allowing this compunction to writhe and jeer from within and cost her happiness ultimately did exactly what she feared doing. 

eyes fluttered shut as a vexed huff slipped forth to join the sprightly dance of the breeze, her head hurt- and for nothing! this idiotic system of thoughts did nothing but dim her awareness and leave her with a tender temper that did no one any favours. it was not the first time that she wondered if the mindset that had been bet into her at the camps would be favoured over the wayward mind that scrambled at the controls of her consciousness now? snorting, smooth steps grow more stalk like in nature as she makes her way across the moor in search of the mighty bulk of the rusalkan leader.