Neverwinter Forest No one ever told me grief felt like fear

what happened next startled him beyond measure. he was about to tell mal to let him in, that they needed bodies to get simmik back. he would deal with the emotional strife as it came.

instead, a thunderbolt. "that can't be true!" lightning seared across his heart. his chest felt tight. his lips couldn't move, even when his father ran away.

just as cam had done. oh. so that was where he got it from. 

he stared, open mouthed, at the spot khali had just occupied. i thought he was there, cam said, voice devoid of. . .wait, no, here it came. tears burned, throat tightened. i thought he was there but he left. he left before. and no one was there for me —

not entirely true, but — i had to deal with it myself because no one was there for me. i saw her. she wouldn't wake up. she wouldn't wake up and i tried and oh god, there was so much blood and. . .

cam was openly sobbing now, his emotions wrenching all control, driving him into the ground. he wasn't even there! she was dead, and he was gone,  and i was alone! he didn't care! he didn't even come back to check!—

face contorted in wrath and woe alike, he scrabbled at the ground, at the snow and ice and dirt and pine needles underneath it. dead things. just like her. and khali should have died, too.

consumed by this mindless, physical expression of grief, he dug for a few moments longer before flinging himself down, muzzle to his paws, nose buried in the cold. hot tears should have sizzled upon the snow.

ziggy was right. it had been better to just believe their father was dead.