The Bracken Woods [m] ivory ice

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this was not like how it had been between them before.
in moons past, he had been tender, in his own way; there was a flame between them, hot red and yellow flickers that soothed an ache somewhere inside of red leaf. she often thought of the night they were wed and remembered it with fondness.
this was different. unnervingly so. the thought of bedding him had not even crossed her mind in weeks, but she is not about to question him now. as he crawls atop her, all she can do is keep her gaze fixated on the amulet tucked between the fibers of his pelt. she is quiet, still, boring; she waits for his undoing, and if he were to ask about her, she would lie.
when he rolls away, red leaf tucks her elbows up close to her chest and squeezes her eyes shut so that she does not have to look at herself. she wanted to be held. she wanted to be reminded of an affection that was now poignantly absent.
if it felt good, why did it hurt?
did it even matter?
the cold sticks to the skin beneath her fur, and her mouth is painfully dry. she wonders if maybe there was a sign from the spirits she had missed — or maybe if cen is right about her, and that is why she cannot hear them now.