The Sentinels don't take that sinner from me

ooooooooooooh the angst I LOVE IT LMAO

atka only cried more, shying into herself with furrowed brows and bared teeth. perhaps she shouldn't have said it, this pain was not caused by any she did not love; but she'd listened to him, let him speak. she needed to hear every thought that he had. he had to give her something, anything!

"what gentle woman-" she laughed through her tears, continuing to cry. "wha- what gentle woman, dreven, would i be if it were only directed towards you?"

her voice became breathy, leveling out with calmness as feelings became more concrete.

"i cannot be the only one you have a heart for." she answered him with her eyes a fire of rage, sadness, and guilt. "you... you know what, dreven?! i don't want to love you, but i do! that's the fucking truth! why would i care so much if i didn't? i might look upon two strangers murdering each other and be angry, but this, this is so much more because i love you. i let on all this fucking guilt, dreven, that does not. belong. to me. i've wondered, these two days-"

she stopped, looking at a man that death seemed to be tearing him downward. her lips quivered with her shaking body now. she sighed, trying anything to stop it, but only ragged breaths came to her.

"did i kill that man? did what i give you, dreven, fuel that power and rage or have you not let go of all that you were? and- and what sort of man would be if i hadn't lost..." and then through gritted teeth, quieter, "if i hadn't lost them. would you have let go of it all then?" 

if her was dying, so much of her would go with him. atka imagined there wouldn't be much left.