Sequoia Coast [m] sun feathers

it was the most hurt she had seen cen since ghaden had died.
silence clings to her for a long while before she rushes to stop him from walking away. the thought of finding another man, letting go of the last vestige of home and the love they once shared — this terrified her, and even more so was the idea that he thought she would ever do such a thing to him.
cen, look at me, she swallows the hard nodule in her throat, eyes glittering with stormy tears. i love you! i want to embrace the lanzadoii. i want to be strong, to raise our children strong! but it is not an adjustment that will be immediate, and i cannot pretend that it is. this is-- i am frightened, my love. my body is not yet used to the march. i am terrified, so very terrified, that the stress has harmed our children. i cannot shake this horrible fear that something will go wrong and that--
a breath.
that we-- you-- will lose another. and that i will lose you more than i feel i already have.
a trembling, teary gasp lifts from her lungs as if it had been trapped there.
sometimes it really hurts, cen. the things you do to me. do you know? know that it hurts?