Blackfeather Woods bloom

Back dated... um, I don't know. After Tahani thread but before Taki.

Since Tahani had taken the news so well, she decided maybe it was best to tell Siarut by herself. Her sister by her side would make her feel better but she can’t begin to predict how he might feel about the whole thing. There’s already some level tension between the lot of them with Tomkin still out on his own and she doesn’t want to make things worse but any day now, she’s certain she’ll swell to the point where she can’t hide it. And if he’s the last to find out, or if she doesn’t tell him at all, well…
 
She shakes her head free of the thoughts and glances up, the night sky pouring into the red grove with only slight illumination. The moon hangs high even if she can’t see it but she knows it’s there. Her stomach already bulges and a scrutinizing gaze will easily tip someone off but she hopes for the cloak of night to buy her sometime until she finds the right words to say. After a moment, she lifts her nose and offers a low call, hoping her brother is home for the night.

It was true he hadn't been consistent in the time he spent within his new home, he had found it easier to wander about and pretend just for a moment that they were still in the arctic. Pretend that he was just on one of the many trips their father had sent him on. However, tonight he chose to stay within the Woods, perhaps abating any worry that had crept into his family. He always kept his excuse close at hand, he was just looking for Tomkin.

As the sun set and the pale moon made itself known, Siarut had found himself a nice spot to slumber. It was weird not sleeping alongside his siblings everynight when they were in such close proximity. As his gaze settled on the moon, he found his thought drifting, trying to lull himself to sleep. Just as quickly as rest had come, it was snatched away by his sisters call. He couldn't hear any distress in her song, but made his way quickly to her location anyway. 

He couldn't be sure, but Siarut was pretty sure she had been avoiding him. He had no idea why, and it upset him to know that they might not be as close as they had once been. The three littermates had once been inseperable, but recently he had felt like the odd one out. 

"Shivali." He called as he enter the Grove, "Sister are you alright?" His cursory glance gave no sign of injury, and so his green gaze took to roaming the scene looking for a threat.

Shivali doesn’t have to wait long before the large white form breaks through the foliage, moving quickly to her. Carefully, she moves to match him. Her gait has started to shift but she can still mask it; before long she’ll have a waddle. One thing at a time, Shivali.
 
Deep breath.
 
“Yes,” she says quietly, licking her lips. Her eyes turn to follow his, scanning the area to make sure they are alone. It won’t be a secret long, anyway, but she doesn’t want anyone else to hear just yet. Telling Tahani had taken enough out of her, but Siarut? Her jaw tightens and she looks back to him, briefly, before looking at the ground to try and gather some courage. She wants to close the distance and wrap up inside him but she keeps herself planted. “I need to tell you something,” she adds, pausing, but for this she does not wait, hopefully to prevent him from coming to his own conclusions: “I’m… pregnant.”

All seemed well, so he couldn't think of why she would be so serious. He felt sudden apprehension, a feeling he hadn't had around Shivali in sometime. It worried him, reminding him of Tomkin's big reveal before they had left home. But Shiv was more responsible than Tomkin right? 

He started to walk toward her, slowly, with great concern in his eyes. She knew she could tell him anything, at least she used to. He smiled slightly and gave a nod, ready to help with whatever she had to say. 

I'm pregnant.

Siarut paused mid step. He blinked a few times, shaking his head in denial. His face scrunching into a deep frown. Slowly his mouth fell open, and closed, opened, and closed. He wasn't sure what to say, he wasn't sure how to feel.

Until he did. Anger and confusion flooded his system.

"You what?!" Siarut's voice rang loud through the quite sleeping forest, and he took a few steps back putting distance between them. "I... don't...." He shook his head once more, "What are you talking about?!" He wasn't exactly sure how to deal with this situation, but there was one thing for sure. He was not happy.

It would be easier if she had an idea how he might react, giving her a chance to prepare, but she speaks with apprehension. He steps closer, concerned, but as the words leave her mouth, he halts and stands there. Disbelief takes over and her ears fall back against her head, taking her own steps back and adjusting her posture to make herself smaller. She’s never been on the receiving end of his anger.
 
His voice is loud and she flinches, looking down at the ground as he tries to sort out the information. She regrets not bringing Tahani along with her, a pain in her chest as Siarut begins to reject the information. Remaining at a loss for words, she stares at something insignificant, letting him take a moment to process, hoping he’ll come to terms with it, but… this is her brother and she knows it won’t be so easy.

His heart almost broke, and he almost lost his resolve at her reaction to his anger. The operative word being, almost. She was pregnant. His beautiful, gorgeous sister was pregnant. She hadn't presented him with a mate, so he could only assume it wasn't a serious fling. This conclusion on infuriated him further.

The distance between brother and sister gave him the space to pace. First he went left, walked a few feet and then angrily stomped in the opposite direction, going twice the distance. He did this for a few minutes, shaking his head as he went. 

"Why?" He growled, she wasn't surrounded by family, and she lacked their support. He couldn't understand her decision. "Why would you even consider bring pups into this unknown place?!" His anger came in waves, as did the loudness of his voice. "I thought you, of all our other siblings, was more responsible than that." Disappointment dripped from his statement, and without realizing it, he had turned into their father.

Silence falls between them and she doesn’t look up until he moves. Dark eyes lift, watching as he moves one way and then the next, pacing back and forth while the anger grows within her brother. If she gives him enough time, he can realize that it’s not such a bad thing, that she has her family here now, but maybe it’s too late and she’s done the wrong thing. She’d never considered it to be the right thing, but she’d been foolish letting Kove have what he wanted. What does she have to show for it? A male that has barely spoken to her, whom doesn’t even know she carries his children—and thankfully they are his and not the monster that had taken so much from her—and she needs her family now more than ever.
 
Siarut comes to a stop, growling in her direction. She attempts to make herself even smaller but she fights against it, knowing she does not deserve the lecture he’s about to give her.
 
Her chest seizes up and she struggles to breathe, licking her lips a little as she tries to find the words of explanation, knowing she doesn’t have a single thing to make the situation better. She had’t considered the situation in the moment, letting her body give in to the circumstance.
 
“Siarut, please,” she says softly to try and calm him though she doubts it’ll do much. She doesn’t have any way to explain herself because stating it being an accident isn’t enough.

Her plea stopped his pacing, clenching his jaw he looked at his little sister. In this moment, he very much felt like her older brother, despite them being so close in age. "What?! What Shivali?" Siarut took a few steps toward her. Taking in the sight of his cowering sister he was suddenly reminded of their conversation when they were first reunited.

”You did not force her, right?”

He hadn't thought of it at the time, but suddenly he could help but wonder why such a topic was at the forefront of her mind. Sia was suddenly angry for another reason, "Did he force himself on you?" His voice was a deep threatening growl, "Who is he? I'll rip him apart."

He was suddenly glad for the lessons their father had imposed on them, his agressive side coming through.

He yells again and this time it is their father’s voice. She’s never noticed it before but she’s never been on the receiving end of Siarut’s rage. She’d never really been on this end of her father’s rage but she’s seen his anger and knows what he’s capable of. It’s hard to think her brother may have turned into him but she doesn’t want to see what he can do. She can cling to the hope that he wouldn’t hurt her but in that moment, she isn’t so sure he won’t release fangs upon her for her mistake. And who is she to fight back?
 
There’s a shift in the air and she dares to glance up, watching as his face changes, his anger redirecting but not where she suspects. “No, he didn’t do that,” she answers, though briefly she wonders if it would be better. Siarut wouldn’t be angry at her but it would cause more trouble and she can’t lie about the father, either, as he holds the crown over all of them. “I just… had a lapse in judgment. Do you not think I have worried about this since I found out?” she tries to tell him, licking her lips again—her posture remains crouched and low, hoping to keep some of the anger off her when it will no doubt return.

Siarut couldn't hold the relief from his face, he hadn't wanted something so tragic to have happened to Shivali. He was calm for a moment, but it brought them right back their previous predicament. He was so worked up that he could only nod his relief. 

Shivali's explanation exasperated him. "A lapse in judgment." He let out a bitter chuckle. "A lapse in judgment." He turned away again, unable to look at his white coated siblings. "You didn't answer my question." His voice settled just above an enraged whisper. "Who's pups do you carry Shivali?" Siarut kept his back to the pregnant woman.

Maybe—maybe—he’s starting to come around. She watches the relief fill his face and she starts to ease some of the tension in her joints, letting herself foolishly start to rise. Even if Kove had raped her, she likely wouldn’t tell him—the same with Iliksis—but she can at least speak the truth. Persistent, maybe, but she still consented and was left to deal with the consequences on her own. 

He repeats her words back to her, causing her to shrink back. The last thing she expected was to be shamed for her situation but with his anger, maybe she should have seen it coming. Shivali closes her eyes and takes a breath, trying to find a way to get through him but when she opens them again, he’s turned away. Still, he demands answers from her and she stands there, taking the brunt of his anger. 

“Kove,” she says after a moment, taking a step closer. Shivali moves to the side a little, hoping to get him to look at her. “I will kill them,” she tells him, lowering her gaze to stare at the ground, “if that is what you want me to do.”

Throwing his head back, he looked at the sky, the bright moon shining down on the pair. He took a deep breath, and then another. 

Kove. 

He lost all sense of respect for the man, he had fooled around with his sister which landed the male in Siarut bad books. 

Shivali's next statement shocked him, and took an unsteady breath. That wasn't what he wanted, nor was it his decision. He swung around at her, "You think that's what I want!?" Siarut stomped his paw, he didn't know what he wanted, but he knew THAT wasn't what he wanted. Family was everything to him, and despite what might happen those youngsters were family. Deep within his heart Siarut knew that he would never let anything happen to them. 

"I just..... I don't know who you are anymore? Because you aren't the Shivali I know." His anger seemed to disappate, and he was left with a heartbroken tone.

Siarut turns around, surprising Shivali. A strangled sound escapes her throat and as his voice escalates in volume, she moves back and shrinks again. She’s never backed down from him, but having never seen him so angry with her is an entirely different situation. His anger makes it difficult to tell what he wants from her but she can’t seem to give him any right answers. His anger continues to rise until it boils over, spilling out everywhere into something... dejected. It isn’t him carrying someone else’s children or having to deal with the circumstances she’s given, instead making it even harder for Shivali. 

“When did you become our father?” she snaps, unable to deal with him berating her anymore. Shivali turns her head and closes her eyes, taking a moment before she ultimately moves, turning away and taking several steps in the opposite direction.

in a forest so quiet, the sound of raised voices was like a siren; Tahani trotted toward the noise, brows knitting in concern as she recognized her littermates' familiar tones. oh, what had happened? it must be about the pregnancy. steeling herself for whatever came next, the healer burst onto the scene, emerging from the brush and almost barreling into Shivali in the process.

giving her sister, who looked angry and dejected, an apologetic lick to the cheek, Tahani turned her head and fixed her gaze on Siarut, demanding answers. "what is going on?" she asked, her voice quiet but firm. "why do you fight? what was said?"

she thought she knew already, but she did not want to make any overarching assumptions.

"I didn't! But apparently that makes me the odd one out!" Siarut shot back at his sister, her words stired the green jealousy settling in his stomach. He took a deep breath to add more when the trio was finally completed by the arrival of Tahani. 

"Why? Has she told you of her news?"Siarut was anything but calm as he replied to his sister's query. He had a feeling Tahani already knew, Sia knew how much his sisters shared. He was also suddenly outnumbered, although it didn't deter his anger.

The words shot back at her don’t make any sense but it doesn’t stop her. She isn’t going to stay around him if he continues to act this way. Her foot remains certain, leaving the area, but blinded by her own emotions she nearly collides with her sister. A soft sound escapes her mouth and she halts immediately. Surprised by the act of affection, she leans into the lick and closes her eyes. 

A beat later, her sister brushes past her and snaps at Siarut. She faces the exit for a moment longer, considering leaving them alone, but if Tahani is going to fight her battle for her, she isn’t going to leave her behind. Slowly, she turns around but keeps her distance, standing behind her sister as they begin to bicker too.

she sighed, a long, breathy sound that indicated she had a long fuse--but little patience for misguided anger. "is that what this is about? why you are yelling at each other?" she looked back at Shivali for a moment, then back at Siarut. "yes, she told me. she is pregnant. it is a blessing."

Tahani frowned then, gaze growing darker. "do not turn your anger on Shivali, Siarut," she warned, jaw firming. "she deserves none of it. no, she needs our support, now more than ever." she took a few steps back to stand beside Shivali, the two of them shoulder to shoulder. if Siarut wanted to snap at her some more, he'd have to snap at her, too.

this would not be the atmosphere these pups would be born into. they were going to be a happy, loving little family, damn it.

Siarut clenched his jaw, looking between his sisters, he was definitely outnumbered. He rolled his eyes, and turned away. With everything that had happened, the ignorant brother didn't know what to do. Turning his back once more on his sisters, he took a breather. 

After everything they had been through. With their father, and Tomkin. With all the weight their father had shovelled on their shoulders, on his shoulders. He was split in his emotions. He knew Tahani was correct these pups were a blessing, but they could also be a curse. Shivali was strong and independent, and now she was tied down, just as she was free of their tyrannical father. And on the other hand, he was jealous, he had always dreamed of a family of his own but had crushed that dream to be the perfect son. He had tried so hard for so many years to please the one man that could allow his deepest dreams to come true, but that had been a lie. His fathe was never going to allow it. He could feel the ache as he thought of Tomkin and Shivali with a family, and that it could take them both away. Siarut knew he couldn't handle that.

It took several minutes before he was able to speak. But it was only sadness that followed his anger, he couldn't explain himself to his littermates, he felt as though they wouldn't understand and that frustrated him but as usual he capped the bottle of his emotions. 

He looked over his shoulder, and suddenly felt a million years old. He weight of the world that had been lifted was dropped back heavier than before. And with a shocking revelation that Shivali had mentioned earlier, he had turned into their father. His jaw fell, and his gaze widened. Shocked, he shock his head and squeezed his eyes shut. 

"It's not like I can change the past." He wasn't sure they would understand him, as he deliberately used the common tongue. "I just wanted what's best for you Shivali, and I honestly don't believe that this is." He finished in their native tongue. He wouldn't apologize for his anger, at least not now, "Either way, I'm not leaving now." Although he said the words with conviction, he wasn't sure what he would do, if Shivali said she wanted him to leave. He had never thought either of his sisters would ever ask that of him, but he realized belatedly that perhaps this argument was the perfect time for such a situation.

Tahani fusses at the both of them, perhaps mostly Siarut—a hint of a smirk hidden in her features—and speaks of the good this will bring them. It’s enough to get him to calm down, at least for a moment, and turn away and sort his thoughts. Whatever the outcome, her own anger will take time to soothe. No, she doesn’t deserve the anger and shame shot at her from her brother. She’d left the family months ago and wanted to start her own life. As happy as she is they have reunited, it doesn’t change anything.
 
When he comes back around, speaking the common tongue, her fur bristles in irritation. She understands enough of the words and tone to get it and she flashes her teeth when he switches back.
 
She scoffs.
 
“Acting like an insufferable child isn’t what’s best for me,” she snaps, focusing her dark eyes on him. Her stare hardens and she lifts a foot, though whether she intends to come closer or turnaround is yet to be indicated.  “I don’t care what you believe but I don’t want you around until you sort yourself out,” she tells him, trying to hide the anxiety swelling in her chest. One turn to Tahani keeps her struggling and she blinks, turning around and leaving both of her littermates behind.

her ears flattened as he spoke the common tongue--she knew even less of it than Shivali--but she remained otherwise silent as the two exchanged words, Shivali eventually turning to walk away. she meant to follow her, a steady rock by her side, but needed to leave Siarut with her own thoughts before she left.

"Shivali is the only one who can decide what is best for her," Tahani said softly, firmly, fixing her stare on her brother. "these are children of her body. . .her soul. i know you have good intentions, but Sia. . .it's happened. it's done. she's made her choice, and we need to accept it."

without another word, she turned and trotted where Shivali had gone, hoping to catch up to her sister soon enough.

He would accept it, simply for the fact that it couldn't be changed. And despite what Shivali might think, Siarut was not their father. There father would have killed these pups himself, regardless of what Shivali wanted, and then beaten Shivali out of the pack all together to be a loner. Siarut would never do that, and he hoped that Shivali knew that. 

He had nothing left to say as his sisters turned their backs and left. He could feel the sharp pain in his heart at Shivali's words. She didn't want him around, that was a knew feeling that Sia wasn't used too. The idea that his family didn't want him around was a tough pill to swallow. Tahani's words rang true, but he couldn't help the frustration that came with knowing their sister had done exactly what Tomkin had done, but without the reprecussions. It wasn't fair, and Sia realized belatedly that he perhaps shouldn't have taken it out on Shivali. He had just been shocked by the knews. 

He would have to make it up to her he knew, and that made it all the more difficult to quell his frustrations. With his sister's surely out of earshoot, Sia let loose a frustrated yell. Growling at himself he turned in the opposite direction, stomping of to think alone.