Broken Boulder let me down, let me down gently

today the dull ache of his limbs feels eased enough that he wants to -- do better. actually be worthy of the title alarian gave him. so he does something he never really did (okay, that's a lie, but he's never enjoyed it) -- making his way to bracken's border for a quick patrol. he's sure queenie's still up for doing it but in her condition he figures it couldn't hurt to have one more body making rounds, even if that body is somewhat frail and pathetic (and queenie would box him about the ears if she knew what he'd been thinking).

delight cuts a slim dark figure as he steps carefully along the scented border trail, humming softly under his breath.

Just like Delight, Queenie had been feeling particularly useless since coming to the Sanctuary. These wolves didn't know her as a mercenary or a scout; they didn't know her as a warrior or a diplomat. They only knew what they could see, which meant that in their eyes, Queenie was nothing more than a heavily pregnant freeloader. Although her due date was quickly approaching and it pained her to stand for more than a few minutes at a time, Queenie knew that she had to do something, especially after the show that she'd put on to get her fancy new rank.

To be clear, Queenie had no residual hate toward Delight (and she did hope that the feeling was mutual), but she was hoping to have been met by someone else at the border; someone who didn't already know how kickass she was. Nonetheless, it was nice to have an old friend by her side, so she didn't hesitate to call for his attention. It was a quick bark, as most of her breath had been taken away by the trek up to the border, but it was enough to get the job done. Del! she laughed, bumping into his side, What have you gotten us into?

sneaks in here

They had shown up to her little impromptu meeting, but Lily hadn't yet had the chance to speak one-on-one to the pair Alarian had brought back from his, erm, adventures. That chance came today, when she spotted them together walking the borders. Wagging her tail in a benevolent fashion, and pushing back any residual bad feelings she might still have had from their accelerated promotions, the dark girl trotted towards them, smiling.

"Hallo," she greeted, voice chipper. "Mind if I join you? I've been fairly useless all day so far; I should really have something to show for today." She fell into slightly awkward step beside them, glancing over at the two.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Queenie, a touch of concern in her voice. Mum had been through a lot of pregnancies, so she wasn't too worried, but this girl seemed fairly young--perhaps her first litter. Lily couldn't imagine what it must feel like to be pregnant. Mum had said it wasn't that pleasant; bloated, irritable, hungry all the time. She didn't think that sounded very great. . .but the reward was children.

Lily did want children, very much.

"queenie," he says, a little relieved and strangely nervous -- they haven't really spoken since the move and he's not sure where they stand with each other. apparently the answer is okay, by the way she comes up like everything's the same. he'll take this small kindness, returning with a slightly fragile smile. "i'm still trying to figure that out myself," he murmurs, "how are you?" god, she's due soon, isn't she? that's a panic attack waiting to happen -- let's not dwell.

luckily he doesn't get a chance to as lily arrives -- the girl who'd called their last meeting, he reminds himself. she echoes his question as she joins them and he feels a little awkward, though he makes no motion to reject her from accompanying them. it's fine, it's all fine, so long as queenie doesn't mind, he thinks, looking at her for a response.

The thought of it just being Queenie and Delight for once was refreshing, but a bit outlandish, given the friendly disposition of their new packmates. Just as she was beginning to formulate a response, the ever cheerful Lily decided to grace the pair with her presence, summoning the mother-to-be back to silence. Everyone seemed to wonder about how she was feeling, as though her answer might be anything but miserable. Absolutely, positively miserable.

It's been a while, she sighed, continuing on her path along the border, I miss patrolling. It won't be long before I can get back out here on my own. Whether it went with or against the doctor's wishes, Queenie didn't plan on staying bedridden for any longer than possible.

oops sorry about her

Much to her distaste, she got a non-answer from both of them; Delight looked merely awkward, Queenie disgruntled. The pair of them were strange, not like the other friendly denizens of the Sanctuary. Even the newer members had given her the time of day. She hung back for a while longer, trailing them, listening to what Queenie had to say--then stopped in her tracks.

Bollocks to this. If they didn't want to be friendly, then she didn't have to be.

"Actually, I just realized I've things to do near the garden," Lily said, her voice icier than she intended. Not even caring whether they heard her or not, she turned and padded away. "See you around," she threw back over her shoulder.

queenie earns a faint smile -- only for it to fall as lily abruptly excuses herself. seems people are doing that to him a lot lately. "take care," he says quietly to her retreating form, his eyes on queenie's face, curious what her reaction will be. knowing her? snarky. 

"oh, that reminds me," he says, once the momentary flicker of guilt abates, "lanawyn -- um, alarian's sister -- she offered to nurse for you, so you could start patrolling again sooner." he hopes that will make her -- if not happy, at least more content with the situation. it probably isn't good for the kids that neither of their parents are super into them and they haven't been born yet... well.

Lily's departure was met with nothing more than a snort from Queenie. It seemed that the closer her due date came, the more impartial she felt. Besides, Delight was laying the conversation on pretty heavy, so it was better that the two of them walked alone. The idea of someone else nursing her babies was...uncomfortable, but if it meant that she could get back to what she actually liked to do sooner rather than later, then Queenie would do it. 

Alarian said something like that, she sighed, stopping to sniff at a poorly placed stone. Normally, Queenie might have marked over it with her own scent, but given that she was with child, it didn't seem like the smartest move. He said that if I wanted, Lanawyn would take care of them. And, I don't know. I think it's an okay idea. Delight didn't seem ecstatic to be a father, but that didn't mean that he had no say in whether she stayed or went.

This is a nice group here. I think that they'd be better off with them than us, anyway. I don't know.

startled by queenie's reaction, delight presses closer to her. in truth the implications of the offer have largely gone by him in his genuine attempt at being as accomodating to queenie as he can -- he's not actually carrying the babies, after all, he doesn't have the same, whatsit, psychological investment, maybe. or maybe he's broken? who knows.

still. "i don't think they meant..." he says and trails off, suddenly unsure. lanawyn's offer hadn't seemed to him to mean they wouldn't be involved, but he doesn't know what alarian told queenie. and to an outsider's point of view? yeah, he doesn't seem like he's enthusiastically rooting for this development. (and he isn't -- but that's not the same as not wanting them, he thinks.) "i mean," delight says awkwardly, clearing his throat, "i think.. it'd be nice to have help? but -- i want to be involved, anyway. do you not.. want to be?" it's -- maybe not the nicest thought, but -- could he really blame her? probably not.

There was so much packed into those six words; of course Queenie wanted to have something to do with the pups (she hadn't carried them this long for nothing, after all), but was she really ready to be a mother? It was a title that came with plenty of responsibilty, and that had never been something that she was good with. And again, was Delight ready to be a father? The two of them together, could they really be parents? Thinking about how young and inexperienced they both were made Alarian's offer all the more enticing. I don't know right now, she answered with a sigh, shaking her head between her forelegs. Do you really think that we're ready for all of this? Honestly?

of course not, queenie!!!!!!!! delight is holding himself together by the most fragile of threads; queenie's bout of self-doubt is doing little to help him out, here. he thinks about leaving, throwing out some vague answer and escaping to ruminate. because maybe she is right. somehow he finds it in himself to pull the threads a little tighter instead, and says, "i don't know, but i don't think anyone's ready, probably. and our situation isn't exactly.. typical, right?" delight offers a faint smile for her sake, tapping his nose to his paw against the soft earth. "i guess we'll figure it out once they actually get here," he offers. it's not an ideal situation for either of them right now, but they've gotten this far by just forging ahead blindly: hopefully they can do that again now.

Right. Things would make more sense once they were here. After seeing them and hearing them and smelling them, there was no way way that Queenie could leave, right? For everyone's sake, she hoped not. What am I gonna do without my patrols? she whined with a forced pout. The next few weeks would be long and drawn out if all that she had to look forward to was nursing. I'm gonna go bonkers, Del. Bonkers!

fadin this<3

delight manages a knowing laugh. it's true -- it's hard to manage queenie out of commission for anything other than life threatening injury. "we'll find a way to keep you busy," he promises (i mean, the babies, obviously --), and bumps into her, hoping for a hint of their old friendship. before the, y'know. "patrol with me now for a little bit," he offers, resuming his pace -- a little slower -- with queenie, glad for a stolen moment of familiarity between them.