Ankyra Sound i aim to die

For @Blixen

He stalked the edge of the sound, bristling and angry.  He frequented the outskirts often, and never alone  — today his older sister and fleimkepa traveled with him.  She was no fos goufa but still heda had decided her a worthy leader, and he figured that he may be able to speak with her about it as he went over the heavily marked borders on what he considered to be their front lawn.

TAKE TWO
stayin vague re blixphas thread

the sound is a real pain in the ass as far as blix is concerned, but she's drageda through and through and she'll carry nomi's desires to completion. more importantly it's a chance to supervise tux, who she hasn't spent enough time with. she still has plans for dacio, but tux and silkie are both equally capable and tux especially has been, she knows, working very hard. his mood today reminds her a little bit of artaax, both amusing and a little sad (of course she misses her brother even if she'd never admit it). "hey kiddo," blix starts, breaking the somewhat moody silence, "penny for your thoughts?"

He had been marking in silence in an attempt to figure out how to break the ice, but the apprehension melts as soon as Blixen addresses him.  He doesn't know then why he was so worried; she has an ease about her that even heda cannot boast, and he finds it easier to confide in her than Ephraim (who he seeks to impress) and Dacio (who he sees himself as above).  Nomi chose you, he says, not even bothering to make an attempt to segue into the conversation.  He pauses to lift his leg, childishly marking over some of the fresh border.  But you're no fos goufa.

He pauses, lingering over the sentence before he realizes that he has not made his point.  Does that mean that maybe one day I could lead, too?  He didn't aspire for the same position but he had his eye set on bandrona, something that had seemed infinitely more achievable.

she adds to his marking, a little surprised by his sudden statement. without knowing he's echoing the same thoughts she'd had when nomi asked (well, ordered) her to lead the new branch. of her siblings, even, leadership was not necessarily something she'd had her eyes on--artaax is the ambitious one, not her. but artaax would be a god awful leader. no offense bro. 

still. his question makes everything make more sense, and she laughs a little, nodding. "i mean, probably," blix says encouragingly. "i'll never be heda - but dio wasn't a fos goufa either and he's wocha, too." knowing her little brother has big goals makes her proud. she gives him a playful nudge. "what, thinking of ousting me in my old age?" she teases, curious what he actually has his little heart set on.

If Blixen had been heda, he might have been embarrassed by the knowledge he lacked on how it all worked.  He knew the ranks and the names of them, and he was familiar with many of Drageda's customs, having been born and raised there.  However with Wildfire's absence during nomi's leave, he had been left with more questions than answers.  No, he says bluntly, not realizing she is trying to joke with him.

I don't want to be heda,  he admits, breaking from view to sniff at a suspicious shrub while continuing to speak (and totally oblivious to the fact that this might be considered rude).  I want to be bandrona.  He looks at her again, hoping to catch her expression — Blixen's are more exaggerated and therefore easier for him to read than someone like heda.  He's hoping if he converses with her and studies her long enough that he can catch a glimpse as to how the social game works.  

He comes across a cache — not one of the ones that Caiaphas and her gang had made (at least, not this time around) but an older one, perhaps the scrape of a coyote.  If there had once been any meat in it, it'd been scavenged (and by now it would have been rotting anyway) but he still gave it a cursory sniff.

amused, she watches him, not particularly bothered by his oddities. he says he wants to be bandrona and reflexively her expression tightens, not because of him but because mother had been bandrona, once. she'd been too little to really be aware at the time of it but the thought still hurts her heart. resolving not to tell tux this she instead says, more gently than usual, "i think that's a great idea." 

blix comes up behind him to peer into the discovered cache, crinkling her nose at whatever rotting residue is left. she nudges tux to keep going and says, "mallaidh is a good scout, you should ask her to take you with her next time she goes out," with a little bit of a grin. she can see it now: she'll train dacio (assuming dio lets her whisk his son away, but they can always share training) and mallaidh can train tux, and silkie they can.. share. or something. or artaax can handle him. and she will not dwell on kiwi (who'd made it to hompleia even!) or the fact that mother abandoned tux when he could have followed in her footsteps, when she could have trained him instead of..nope nope we're done rehashing this. with a little more force than is necessary she steps ahead, her next marking slightly more aggressive than is strictly necessary.

Even with someone who allows their body language to be such an open book, Tux still struggles with reading the meaning between the lines.  He does not notice when her voice goes soft, and does not notice when her stepping turns to stomping.  He is oblivious to the fact that their mother natrona had once been a scout, and that is some small miracle — besides, it's no longer in his blood, since he drained all of that Redhawk crap out with Silkie (as if that's how any of this works).

I met Mallaidh once, he says, She is... nervous, he thinks, but he doesn't want to say it, so he settles for kind, instead.  Are we still going on that trip with Helix?

"she's brilliant," blix sighs dreamily before shaking herself back to reality. it's no good to go around being besotted in front of her little brother (or anyone else for that matter). his question is more pressing, anyway. "oh, we should," she agrees, realizing that with all the chaos of the past month their planned trip completely slipped her mind. "blackbear's father used to lead morningside, but he passed away," she says, "i wonder if she knows who's in charge now." or would come with them -- though she wouldn't blame the girl for wanting to stay away if it's still painful.

Tux would not have pegged Mallaidh as a being of supreme intelligence, and he tries to keep the confusion from his face.  For the most part he succeeds, but he makes no comment on it and instead chooses to move onto the subject at hand, glad the conversation has moved on.  I haven't met Blackbear yet, he says.  Is it safe enough to head out soon?  To be honest he's worried about these strangers next door — the very ones whose urine he is marking over.

it's a fair question, but not one she has a real answer for. blix rolls one petite shoulder and says, "probably," seemingly unconcerned about their quasi-competition against the new neighbors. drageda is stronger and will be stronger forever as far as she's concerned, and now they have nomi back too. between nomi and dio and eske they will be fine even if blix and tux and helix go to visit morningside. "we can ask nomi too," she adds reassuringly, "she'll know if it's a good idea. either way i think it makes sense -- we still don't know much about our other neighbors." diplomacy is still not her strongest suit, since there is a distinct lack of teeth involved. 

Tux is a little concerned towards Blixen's nonchalance regarding their new neighbors.  He does not yet understand that Caiaphas and her ragtag band of misfits were well within their rights to claim the Sound — as far as he is concerned, they tread too closely to the cliffs and he does not like the way they addressed his ilk, even though they happened to interrupt the ladies' lunch. 

They made him feel ashamed, and he didn't like that. He still didn't know what a "cock" was, but he remembered the way Caiaphas' gaze trailed to his manhood and how he wondered why his privates mattered, since all wolves had the same equipment.  His own eyes moved to Blixen's underside as she urinated on something, and he couldn't help the way his mouth parted slightly as he realized that he didn't quite know how she was peeing.  He puts two and two together and realizes finally what Caiaphas had meant.

Blixen, he says assertively, now too preoccupied with his poor sister's deformation to focus on the task at hand.  Where's your cock?

she's not minding tux when he speaks again, distracted by their marking and the uncertainty of the sound. she isn't threatened by caiaphas even with their packs' histories, but she isn't exactly looking for another war, either. if they bring one to drageda's doorsteps then she will rise to meet the occasion -- let them be the first to make a move. blixen isn't the same idiot hot head she was in her youth (well, only a little) -- she's learned enough to know this is a situation better to hold back on. at least for now.

all this to say her thoughts are not entirely collected when her little brother opens his mouth to ask her where her cock is.

"chit," blix says, alarmed. for a minute she thinks she must have misheard -- maybe he was saying where's your kok au, only that doesn't make any sense, so, no, he did ask what he asked, huh. flustered, she straightens up and says with more dignity than she should be able to summon at the moment, "i don't have one." 

please, god, let that be the end of it, she is not equipped to give the talk.

His eyes moved from her distinct lack of a phallus down to his toes, and he wiggles them as he thinks on it. He feels like he's really lucked out when he compares himself to Blixen; after all, he also could have ended up without a penis instead of with a bunch of extra toes. That's okay, he says perhaps a little more gently than is characteristic for him, I'm deformed, too. But he is also content to leave that conversation there, even though he still does not quite understand what Caiaphas and Erzulie meant. Perhaps it's not important enough to focus on.

Back to business. Let me know when you're ready to go.

blink.

"no," she says, resisting the urge to laugh suddenly, "i'm just not a boy, tux -- that's, uh, that's a thing only boys have." though bless him for not having any other questions. she really does not want to dwell on cock, or her lack thereof. "and i think we're about done here," she adds, grinning as she comes up beside him, giving his shoulder a playful nudge.

Blixen's revelation made it all so clear to Tux, who just moments before did not understand. All of a sudden he is revolted — not with Blixen, but with himself. Pretty boys from drageda, the harlot lies, while the wretch goads, Will your powerful warriors march down from on high, to stop three women from hosting a nice lunch? The underlying tones which had been hidden from him broke through like sunlight on an overcast day, and his face twists uncomfortably.  

Is it de presence of a cock, den, dat makes dese ones so overblown? It's cause the blood all goes down there - and not enough goes to the brain.  All of a sudden Blixen is at his side, nudging his shoulder, but his stomach is sour.  They weren't making fun of him because he was Drageda, they were making fun of him because he was a boy.  He swallows thickly, shutting out thoughts of the golden woman's inviting gaze and her turned hip.  It all makes sense now.  He wished it didn't.

Let's go.

she doesn't know what tux is thinking, nodding at his decision to wrap up. and perhaps for the best -- blix has own her own biases vis a vis boys, and would likely be little help to her brother and whatever gendered shames he's dealing with. "good work," blix says, turning and leading them back to drageda.