Blacktail Deer Plateau Husks and shells

There's some foul language in this thread. Read at your own discretion!

Atticus was now living in Blue Willow's den full-time, which meant that Peregrine dropped by there at least twice a day to sit with his brother. The former Beta male remained largely unresponsive, though they were able to feed him and even get him to stand up, walk and stretch his legs. It was strange and upsetting to see his brother in this state, though Peregrine hoped Atticus would miraculously heal in time. In the meantime, he was in the best possible hands; the Healer would look after him and Peregrine would consider himself Atticus's other primary caretaker.

After his morning visit, the Alpha male strode slowly through the woods. He stopped every so often to flick his head around and nip at an itch on his back or flank. "That woman gave me fleas," he muttered to himself, albeit with a bemused glow in his dusky blue-green eyes. The last thing he needed was to give his husk of a brother—he flinched as the thought crossed his mind—fleas. Perhaps he would have to skip his evening visit, at least until he sorted out the little buggers.

He sought one of the small brooks that crisscrossed the plateau and waded into the cold water, then lowered himself. "Drown, bitches," he murmured as he soaked, his eyes casting around the summery forest. His mind drifted, moving from Atticus to his mate and lover, then on to his ex-wife. His brow furrowed thoughtfully as Hawkeye's face drifted through his head, then he forcefully cleared his head, closed his eyes and let himself drift.

That day like so many others before it found Finley wandering aimlessly about the Plateau that was her home. She was toying with the thought of stopping by to see how Blue was holding up, what with the traumatic reappearance of her mate. Or wait, no. Her... almost mate. Or was he Peregrine's mate? But wait, no, that was Lasher. Unless Lasher was only mated to.. whoever.. because Atticus had been missing? So. That would mean. Blue and Peregrine were.... gang banging.... Oh screw it, Fin settled with just going ahead and assuming all of the wolves in the pack ranked above her were one big happy orgy-ing family. That made things easier to follow.

But anyway. I digress. Fin played with the idea of visiting Blue that day, but in the end she felt it better to just keep her distance for the time being. Plus, something about going up to her alpha right now and saying "Hey I'm bored, tell me some stories" seemed... what's the word...... inappropriate! Yes, inappropriate.

So, Fin wandered. Usually when she did so, she ended up finding something to entertain herself. Sometimes it was a packmate. Sometimes it was a squirrel. Other times it was a bee hive. One day it was a stick. In truth, it was a super cool stick. SO much bark to tear off of it.

Today, it apparently was going to be her alpha. Fin peered at him through the trees at him as he relaxed in the little creek, whispered something about bitches, and shut his eyes. She pondered this for a moment, but then shrugged it off. She imagined if she were sexing half the pack (yes, it had escalated to half, in her mind), she'd need a nice bath to wash away the bitches too. After a moment of watching him, she decided to step into view and reveal herself.

"Finally," Fin said to him with a wicked grin and narrowed eyes, "I've got you just where I want you..." She never could just say hi. Someone really needed to teach her that trick.

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Your post made me laugh. Technically, the fleas are an STD!

He was so far adrift—mentally, that was—that Peregrine didn't even know he had company until she spoke. Startled, his eyes flew open and he jerked, noisily splashing water. He bobbed for a moment, then sought purchase and stood, cold water cascading off him and causing his dark fur to lie flat against his muscles. With a little shake, he stepped out of the brook, all the while looking at Finley with almost suspicious curiosity.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, trying to keep the incredulous amusement out of his voice. He gave his body another shake, even twirling his tail to send a rope of water flying through the air. Now he looked slightly less waterlogged.

Lol I kind of wondered :P

Fin watched as he reacted to her words. Well, more like she watched him as he emerged from the water. Well, more like she watched his fur as he stepped out of the water, and the way it slicked down against his well-toned body. It was pretty nice. Very nice. For a moment, she stopped paying attention to whatever his mouth and his face was doing and just looked at the rest of him.

Aaaaaand then she remembered his harem, and suddenly it seemed more prudent to pay attention to his face. She smirked as he responded to her words, feeling deeply pleased with the suspicion that danced within his eyes. She spent a few seconds just giving him an evil, superior look while her mind raced to find her next hilariously clever remark.

"You can't even.... You don't...." she started sounding devious, but then it sort of... stopped working, ".................yeah okay, I didn't think far enough ahead." And then all pretenses were dropped with a frustrated sigh. "I did have you for a second, though." Fin added, completely saving face. Not losing a single bit of it. Nope. None.

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Peregrine's eyebrow arched, then continued arching with every word. When Finley gave up on the game, it finally resumed its normal position and he snorted quietly. He didn't quite understand what was going on in his pack mate's head, yet something about her quirkiness was... endearing?

"You're a weird one, Finley," he replied. "What's up? Friendly warning: I was just taking a flea dip. I'm not sure yet if it worked. You may want to maintain a distance of... well, I'm not sure how far a flea can jump. Do you know?" The Alpha cocked his head at her.

A weird one. Finley played with that thought for a moment, then shrugged and smiled. "Weird. Eh, it's not the worst adjective that's been used on me so I'll take it." She hopped down to his level, but stopped suddenly when he warned her not to come much closer. Fleas, eh? Finley was aware from experience that those were pretty terrible, so she took a couple of steps back.

"I have no idea, but I have no desire to find out," Fin said with a frown, "Is that why you were in the water? I feel like that's only going to hydrate them, make them stronger. With fleas you need to take more drastic measures." What those measures were, she wasn't completely certain. She couldn't remember how she had in the past gotten rid of her own fleas. She certainly hadn't drowned them, at least.

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The swarthy male flicked one ear, remarking, "Wasn't meant as a bad thing," and shooting Finley a little grin. He then plopped his rump on the ground and began to lick the wet fur on his chest and legs, trying to draw out the moisture. He stopped when it occurred to him that he might accidentally ingest a flea. Gross.

Finley's sage advice made him snort again. "I was hoping to drown them," he explained, "but I'm open to alternatives. Got anything?" he questioned before reluctantly resuming his grooming session.

Fin looked quizzically at him as he posed his questions. Her head fell slowly to its side as though a weight were supposed tied to her left ear as she pondered an alternative plan for destroying these elusive "fleas". As upsetting as it was, she couldn't really think of anything.

"I don't know... I guess drowning is probably your best bet... I mean, short of beating you with sticks or setting you on fire. Both of which I'm assuming you're not down with," Fin gave him a pointed glance to make sure he knew that this was his opportunity to speak up. "But I guess since we can't do that, you might as.. well......"

Fin drifted off, her eyes widening as a thought popped into her head. Her thoughtful frown swiftly turned into a wide, toothy grin as she turned to her alpha with the greatest idea that anyone had ever had ever. "Did you try rolling around in mud??" Fin exclaimed eagerly, "I mean, drowning.. like.. whatever.. But if you get mud all over yourself, you can probably suffocate them. Then they'll die!!" Fin gave her alpha a huge smile, having never felt more brilliant in her life/not really, in the last maybe week or so..

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"You'd be correct," he agreed laughingly. He could see how burning off his fur might actually work, though Peregrine failed to see any logic in being beaten with sticks. He supposed it was comical, in any case. "I'd prefer a method that didn't result in bodily injury."

Finley trailed off into thought and Peregrine waited patiently, taking the opportunity to nibble at a few itchy spots on his right shoulder. As soon as she spoke again, he straightened and looked at her. She proposed a mud bath. He turned this idea over in his head, wondering if it would drown or suffocate the fleas... or maybe both simultaneously? Was that possible?

"Now that one won't hurt to try," he replied. "Literally." His eyes tore away from Finley's face and began to comb the bank of the little brook. This little stretch was small but running rapidly. What he needed to do was find an eddy where he could stir up some mud.

Glancing back at his companion, he said, "You may want to join me, you know, as a precaution." Lips twitching, he then began to roam along the creek, searching for some mud soup in which to soak.

Fin gave a laugh at her alpha as he suggested she join him in the mud bath. She was certain that this was just a ploy to get her dirty, and then he'd point and laugh at her because she was all covered in mud when she didn't really need to be. She was onto his games. Little did he know, she played the same tricks on people all the time, so she knew how to spot hijinx. Peregrine turned to begin searching the creek bed for a good, muddy spot, and Fin parted her lips to give him a clever retort.

Then suddenly, she felt a little itch behind her ear. Which was nothing, just her mind screwing with her. And then there was another on her wrist. And then her back. And then her bum. And suddenly, though there wasn't a flea anywhere near her besides the ones making a feast of the ebony male's scrumptious blood, a mud bath seemed rather like a good idea.

"I think, you may be right, good sir... Here, this way," Fin called to him, turning to trot off in the opposite direction, "I saw a good spot over here earlier."

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Finley called him back and, though it went against the grain a bit to follow the orders of a subordinate, Peregrine found her quirky temperament more endearing and amusing than off-putting. Shrugging to himself, he pivoted and loped back in her direction, giving his ruff a shake as he trotted along behind her. He swore he felt itchier every moment, though Peregrine wondered if it was just in his head. Maybe he didn't even have fleas at all.

"A mud bath can't hurt," he murmured to himself, falling back a few feet when he realized he was tailgating the she-wolf. Not only did he not want to accidentally stick his muzzle in her butt crack, he still didn't want to risk his hypothetical fleas jumping ship and feeding on her instead.

Fin walked steadily along the little stream, completely oblivious to the fact that it should feel a lot more odd being the one to lead her alpha and not the other way around. When it came to rank and related pack etiquette, Fin was always careful to not do anything that would get her kicked out of a pack, but if her antics sometimes ruffled a few feathers, she didn't fret over it. She really couldn't be too much bothered with the egos of the upper-ranked, not when she had her own inflated head to preoccupy her.

Fortunately for her, Peregrine was having a laid-back day. Or maybe it was more of a there-are-better-things-to-worry-about day. In either case, Finley's attention was absorbed with trying to remember exactly where it was she had spotted the muddy pool. She flicked an ear backwards only briefly when she heard the dark wolf mutter something to himself and allowed herself a prideful little grin as her mind jumped to the conclusion that he was probably complimenting her bum. She allowed her tail to sway as she walked, letting the handsome male catch glimpses of her thighs. In truth, she had no interest in him romantically. But she never missed an opportunity to flaunt her highly coveted features.

There we go! the silver woman chirped quite suddenly, picking up her pace to bound over to the opposite shore and wrestling her way through a wide thicket even though it would have been easier and just as quick to go around it. As she stepped out of the brush, her paw smushed into the muck she had been searching for.

The pool of mud stretched out a few yards along the edge of the stream, the remnants of a great rain that some large creature had once taken advantage of for its own messy bath. Tides and rain had kept the soil loose and easily re-satured with moisture over the months so that what had formed was a nice little tub for those who felt like they were just too darn clean.

The sterling female stepped gingerly into the mud a few feet until the muck was about halfway up her legs. A look of displeasure twisted her muzzle into a deep frown as she looked around for Peregrine. I somehow overlooked how gross this would feel. She wriggled her toes beneath the mud, both hating and somewhat enjoying the feeling of it squishing between them.

They arrived at their destination: a veritable sinkhole. Peregrine stood on its edge, watching as Finley stepped into the thick, soupy mud. Her nose wrinkled and he had to laugh at her expression. He took a step forward, tentatively pressing his left paw into the goop. His own nose twitched when a deep stink rose up from the viscous liquid.

"Are you sure this isn't, like, a moose's latrine or something?" he quipped, although the scent was one of dirt and rotten vegetation, not feces. His right foot joined the left and his weight caused him to sink slowly into the mess. "I'm going to get rid of the fleas but smell like asshole. I'm not sure I've made the right decision here."

Nonetheless, he pulled up one mud-caked foot with an accompanying squelching noise and stepped deeper into the mud puddle. When he felt situated, he slowly sank onto his belly, which instinctively arched away from the cool sludge. When it finally made contact, he buckled his legs entirely and was soon bobbing in the brown stew. To maximize its effectiveness, he rolled side to side, making sure to slather every inch of his body.

"Die, mother fuckers," he mumbled right before holding his breath and smashing his face forward into the muck. Almost instantly, he flung it back upward and, with a freakish mud mask covering everything but his eyes, he shouted a loud, "Hellooo!" at Finley, sending bits of goo flying from his nostrils and mouth.

We might want to mark this mature because we're so immature lmao

As Peregrine entered the squishy bath, Fin gingerly stepped deeper, her face contorting with immense displeasure. She stopped as the alpha posed a question, a single brow quirking. Do you really want me to answer that? she asked rhetorically as she moved slowly around the pool. She had no doubt that this was in fact mud, but whether or not there were other... unmentionable.. erm... "debris".. lurking somewhere beneath the surface was something she was trying very hard not to dwell on.

Fin watched her alpha as he immersed himself in the muck. She moved her gaze back slowly to the filth underneath which her once pristine white legs stood and gave a defeated sigh. She sucked in a deep breath as though about to dive under water and dropped onto her stomach with an awkward squelch like a hmhm thrusting into a hmhm if you know what I mean *eyebrow waggle*. Once lying down, she rolled very slightly from side to side while whimpering miserably, deciding then and there that she was never going near Peregrine again if this was what was going to come of it.

The swarthy male's murmuring caught her attention and she turned just in time to gasp in horror as he smashed his face into the mud. Horror turned swiftly to disgust, disgust to surprise, and then surprise to humor as she burst out laughing at how ridiculous he looked, and really how unbelievably horrible this entire escapade was in general.

Gods are you one sexy bitch, Fin said between laughs, No wonder you have two asses to hump at home. If there was a line there that Finley wasn't supposed to cross, she was completely unaware of it as she choked on her laughter.

Finley's remark took him by surprise, though in a not unwelcome way. "Das righ," he replied, trying to ignore the painful twinge he felt when their banter reminded him of the way he used to talk with Atticus. "I'm not the bitch, though. I prefer to think of myself as a sexy mother fucker instead," he retorted without missing a beat, his mouth splitting into a grin. Never mind that neither Lasher nor Fox was a mother (yet) and that mother fuckers had been an epithet a moment ago...

"I like you," he announced a moment later. "You remind me of my brother," he added in case Finley took that the wrong way. "He and I always talked shit back and forth, before he had his accident..." His throat tightened and he almost licked his lips before catching himself. That would've been bad. "I like it when I can talk like this without offending anyone. It makes me feel... at home." Peregrine's grin widened, his teeth looking particularly bright. He would've made a good model for a beauty regimen commercial.

Fin noted his surprise, but took it initially as a reaction to her bold remark. It brought a grin of pride to her face. She enjoyed being one from whom to expect the unexpected. She snickered at his correction, but went ahead and made a mental note of it. Apparently being a 'mother fucker' was preferable to being a 'bitch'. Men--always lining people up for a good thinking-with-your-penis joke.

When Peregrine spoke again, though, it was Fin who got to be surprised. The confession seemed to come out of left field to the feisty Blackthorn. She quirked a brow at him, still smiling good-naturedly but not even bothering to attempt the confusion that briefly showed on her face. He was quick to continue his explanation; clarifying for her that it was a familial sort of affection that stemmed from their mutual affinity for vulgarity and wit. She could tell by his facial expressions and tone that there was a weight to his words and an emotion he wasn't giving his voice to directly. In truth, it made Fin feel a bit uncomfortable, but not because she was the cause of her alpha's emotion, but only because she never had a clue how to react when people got all wishy-washy on her.

You know, you seem pretty alright too, Fin responded, snickering at his white teeth as they beamed through the filth on his face. And I will be glad to take any crap you give me in jest so long as I can mock you mercilessly when you screw up and knock you down a few pegs when I feel like you're just feeling too damn proud of yourself. She smiled. It felt like a pretty good deal to her.

I have to do my face, Fin barked at him suddenly, eager to distract from whatever touchy-feely junk that they were about to get into. She lifted a paw from the muck and patted it down on her face until there were two steaks going down from her eyebrows to the underside of her neck and a big glob on her chin. She then brushed another glob onto the top of her head, brushing her hair as forward as she could get it until it was sticking up in the air in twists and knots with chunks of mud tangled and dripping down the sides of her head.

Once the look was complete, she turned to him with a stoic expression on her face. If you don't tell me I look super bad ass right now, I will bite you, Fin claimed, fighting the tickle of the mud as it dripped uncomfortably into her ears.

She lifted a paw from the muck and patted it down on her face until there were two steaks going down from her eyebrows to the underside of her neck and a big glob on her chin.

I laughed way too hard at this innocent typo and the mental image it created...

Peregrine didn't let in just anyone, though her likeness to Atticus had opened the door for Finley and he saw no reason not to let her through. "Okay," he agreed to her terms, "but I get to do the same right back to you, shitwit." He cackled and winked at her.

While Finley took care of her face (something he didn't even think to question, as it seemed appropriately girly even if Finley didn't strike him as the feminine type), Peregrine tried his best to sink deep into the mud pit. Then he abruptly realized he was getting a little claustrophobic, so he stood. His belly remained suctioned, a giant mess of mud creating a strange tether between his underside and the surface of the viscous pool.

He looked up from this weird sight when Finley spoke. "You're going to have to bite me because you look like a shitfaced assclown. Hey, check this out," he said in the next breath, motioning toward his midsection. "I'm becoming one with the mud. I'm the creature from the brown latrine, ooooo!"

LOL I never even noticed x]

Shitwit. That was a new one to be sure. Fin chuckled at the name and proceeded to doll herself up, only to laugh again as he responded to her request. She rolled her eyes at him and began to lower herself further into the mud. But in the next second, he called her attention again and she gave him a curious glance as she continued to sink.

Now that is terrifying, she replied with a grin, I've never seen the earth shit a wolf before, but it does make sense that you'd be the one. She squirmed a little as she sank down onto her stomach with her chin resting upon the surface of the pool. Psst... I'm calling you a piece of shit, she whispered with a mischievous little giggle.

"Watch yourself, fuckknuckle," Peregrine warned, albeit without any malicious intent whatsoever. "I just might drownocate you in this stuff." Because it was just the right consistency to fall somewhere between drowning and suffocating. That's what was happening to his fleas right now, he hoped.

Thinking of his fleas made him think of Fox, which made him itchy in a good way. He wanted to find her and tell her about his muddy flea dip. He hated to cop out on Finley but there was something hilarious about the thought of leaving her here, wallowing in the mud alone, possibly stuck until someone came along and rescued her...

"I think my fleas are caput. Thanks for the brill idea, ficklefuck. I'm gonna go now. See ya!" With a grotesque squelching noise not unlike Velcro ripping loose, Peregrine sprang out of the mud pit, gave Finley a last wink, then galloped away into the woods, fully planning on greeting his wife with a filthy bear hug to pay her back for giving him fleas in the first place.

Finley probably should have seen the alpha's departure coming. After all, she would do the same--wait until he was well immersed in the mud and then up and leave him to his sticky, dirty fate. Only Fin would probably have taken it a step further and gathered the pack to point and laugh as he struggled to free himself from the goo. So in the end, she accepted his abandonment as a well-played move in their little game and merely barked after him as he disappeared, "Give Fox a big ol' kiss for me!"

Though the thought made her sick, Fin sucked in a deep breath and rolled onto her back and began to squirm wildly, trying to get herself well covered in the junk before she finally began to scramble out. Unlike Peregrine, she had no one to go torment with her affection, so she stood ponderously for a moment before the grin flashed on her muzzle and she headed off towards where she knew many of the pack would soon be gathering. Oh what fun it would be for them to step around the big pile of mud, only to have it grab their ankles as they passed by.

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