it wasn't every night that @Bat slept in tegan's den with him, or that tegan slept with @Finley. he slept alone often enough, not willing to act like he needed the security of his friends and family. and he didn't have nightmare's every night, so it was fine. tegan was willing to suffer on the occasion if it meant no one would know that he was the world's biggest pussy-- having nightmares like he was some sort of toddler. fucking stupid. no, tegan was an adult and he didn't need anyone else.
except for tonight, when a vision of him choking on his own blood in the middle of blackfeather woods with screech standing over him-- haunted his sleep.
he awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath and shaking. tegan let out a sputter of coughs and more helpless gasps for air-- his fur ruffled and bristling in all directions. it took him a moment to calm down, but his body was visibly shaking. god damn it.
god, fucking, damn it.
he sat hunched over in his den, green eyes locked onto a single rock that laid towards the edge of his poorly dug den. and then, sort of zombie-like, he rose from where he was and set off to find bat. he knew she wouldn't mind if he stayed the night. he'd just blame it on the cold, or something.
except for tonight, when a vision of him choking on his own blood in the middle of blackfeather woods with screech standing over him-- haunted his sleep.
he awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath and shaking. tegan let out a sputter of coughs and more helpless gasps for air-- his fur ruffled and bristling in all directions. it took him a moment to calm down, but his body was visibly shaking. god damn it.
god, fucking, damn it.
he sat hunched over in his den, green eyes locked onto a single rock that laid towards the edge of his poorly dug den. and then, sort of zombie-like, he rose from where he was and set off to find bat. he knew she wouldn't mind if he stayed the night. he'd just blame it on the cold, or something.
December 10, 2018, 10:40 PM
It was after nightfall by the time Bat returned, earlier than she'd planned. She trudged up the slope that led her deeper into Redhawks territory, shivering a little in the cold. She would head to Tegan's little dugout tonight, maybe tell him about Tulimaq in the morning. She also still needed to ask him that important question. She huffed at the thought, a wispy silver cloud bursting from her mouth as if she were some sort of dragon.
She made her way toward the place where her friend slept, startling a little when she saw him out wandering so late. "Yo," Bat called softly, "are you sleepwalking or something?" She chuckled to herself, though as the space between them shrunk, her brow furrowed as she took in his slightly disheveled appearance. "Hey," she breathed, heartbeat ratcheting up a few notches, "you don't look so hot. You okay?"
She made her way toward the place where her friend slept, startling a little when she saw him out wandering so late. "Yo," Bat called softly, "are you sleepwalking or something?" She chuckled to herself, though as the space between them shrunk, her brow furrowed as she took in his slightly disheveled appearance. "Hey," she breathed, heartbeat ratcheting up a few notches, "you don't look so hot. You okay?"
December 10, 2018, 10:44 PM
dooh fuck-- there she was. tegan was caught off guard by the wandering bap-- confused where she'd come from. maybe she was coming to see him, ugh, he should've just stayed awake for a little longer, then he wouldn't have had the nightmare. FUCK. ugh. tegan couldn't even explain this to her.
"s'cold," he slurred gently into the night, his breath a big puffy cloud in front of his face. proved his point. it was also a joke-- cause she said he didn't look so hot... heh. he didn't have the energy to laugh at his own joke. "was comin' to find you, actually... didn't realize you were nearby." he wasn't even sure he had used his sniffer to track her own-- he wasn't sure, now that he was thinking about it, where he was even going. whoops.
"s'cold," he slurred gently into the night, his breath a big puffy cloud in front of his face. proved his point. it was also a joke-- cause she said he didn't look so hot... heh. he didn't have the energy to laugh at his own joke. "was comin' to find you, actually... didn't realize you were nearby." he wasn't even sure he had used his sniffer to track her own-- he wasn't sure, now that he was thinking about it, where he was even going. whoops.
December 10, 2018, 10:51 PM
Her heart did an embarrassing little leap when Tegan said he'd been looking for her. Her tail began to wave, silver eyes glittering in the dark. "I knew you missed me when I'm gone," she teased, playing it cool despite her thumping heart. "Don't worry, buddy, your pillow pal is here to save the day." She gave him a cheeky nudge. "Or the night. Whatever."
She took it upon herself to start walking, leading the way to his dugout den, and when she turned to look at him—mussed from sleep and rather adorable—Bat suddenly found not just warm breath but words streaming from her snoot. "Tegan, would you ever consider leaving the Redhawks?"
She took it upon herself to start walking, leading the way to his dugout den, and when she turned to look at him—mussed from sleep and rather adorable—Bat suddenly found not just warm breath but words streaming from her snoot. "Tegan, would you ever consider leaving the Redhawks?"
December 10, 2018, 10:55 PM
his tail did not wag along with all her playful banter and friendly bumps and nudges. instead, a single bob of his head and a low huff of air was all she got, but he followed along with a drowsy sort of look upon his face. he just didn't feel up to the whole being awake thing right now. he was kind of looking forward to be able to curl up next to his friend and fall asleep... like a real sleep.
and then she asked a stupid ass question. "no," tegan said bluntly, ears pressing forwards and brows furrowing, "why would you ask me that?"
and then she asked a stupid ass question. "no," tegan said bluntly, ears pressing forwards and brows furrowing, "why would you ask me that?"
December 10, 2018, 11:09 PM
She stopped, mouth hanging ajar as she kicked herself inwardly. How could she let that slip out like that? Before Bat could really punish herself, Tegan did the job for her. Swiftly and without batting an eyelash, he answered: "No." The youth felt the breath catch in her throat. She truly hadn't meant to ask him that just now, though as her mercury eyes took in his drowsy, puzzled features, she realized that by springing it on him so randomly, she had gotten the most honest answer possible.
He demanded to know why she'd asked, which was fair. Bat's mouth opened and closed as she felt her heart sink into her stomach, then down into her feet. So, that was that then. She might have to choose between Tegan and traveling—real traveling, far and wide, unattached to a pack—at some point. They were arguably both her first love, previously all pleasantly mixed up together but now mutually exclusive. Of course, there was always the possibility (probability, really) that Tegan didn't feel the same way anyhow and if she ever told him how she felt, he would put her out of her misery just as quickly as he'd answered her spontaneous question.
"Just wondering," she replied haltingly, trying to start walking again. Her legs felt like they were full of jelly or sand or some unpleasant mixture of both. "Uh, sorry, I didn't mean to blindside you..." she apologized awkwardly, falling silent as they neared the den.
He demanded to know why she'd asked, which was fair. Bat's mouth opened and closed as she felt her heart sink into her stomach, then down into her feet. So, that was that then. She might have to choose between Tegan and traveling—real traveling, far and wide, unattached to a pack—at some point. They were arguably both her first love, previously all pleasantly mixed up together but now mutually exclusive. Of course, there was always the possibility (probability, really) that Tegan didn't feel the same way anyhow and if she ever told him how she felt, he would put her out of her misery just as quickly as he'd answered her spontaneous question.
"Just wondering," she replied haltingly, trying to start walking again. Her legs felt like they were full of jelly or sand or some unpleasant mixture of both. "Uh, sorry, I didn't mean to blindside you..." she apologized awkwardly, falling silent as they neared the den.
December 10, 2018, 11:17 PM
tegan didn't understand, and in his current emotional vulnerability he was absolutely appalled that she would ask him such a question. "why'd you ask me that?" he demanded, stopping where he stood to face her, the fur on his shoulders starting to raise. suddenly, feeling all the tension from his nightmare-- combined with all the loneliness he'd been secretly battled in lieu of the towhee x niamh situation and easy-- tegan snapped. like a fucking twig.
"are you going to fucking leave me?" he asked in the most accusatory tone he could muster up, and before she had the chance to respond he continued-- potentially talking over her-- "what-- your mom comes and you're just gonna fucking bail on me? ask me to come with you? expect me to leave my whole fucking family to follow around some kid?" some kid. how fucking rude, tegan, that is not how you keep the friends you so desperately wish you had.
"fuck you, bat," he shot at her, and then began to turn and leave. he'd go to his fucking mom.
"are you going to fucking leave me?" he asked in the most accusatory tone he could muster up, and before she had the chance to respond he continued-- potentially talking over her-- "what-- your mom comes and you're just gonna fucking bail on me? ask me to come with you? expect me to leave my whole fucking family to follow around some kid?" some kid. how fucking rude, tegan, that is not how you keep the friends you so desperately wish you had.
"fuck you, bat," he shot at her, and then began to turn and leave. he'd go to his fucking mom.
December 10, 2018, 11:31 PM
When Tegan repeated himself, his words heated now, Bat swallowed and turned to force herself to look him in the eye. "N—" she tried at the first shot fired. "N—" she attempted to squeak when he flung accusations about her mother (which weren't even off base, really). "N—" Well, yes, she would've loved to ask him to travel with her, though only if he'd wanted that too. "N—" Her face officially began to crumple when accusations took a wild turn toward hurtful barbs. "N—" And then the fatal shot: "Fuck you, Bat."
Having never seen Tegan angry, much less had that anger aimed anywhere in her direction, Bat was rendered utterly speechless. She felt as if her stomach dropped into her feet as Tegan forcibly turned away from her and began to stomp away into the night. Of course, there was part of her that wanted to call out after him or even chase him; she wasn't above either of those things.
But Tegan's angry words were more than the sum of their parts. Bat couldn't imagine ever speaking to him that way, because she cared for him so dearly and he meant so much to her. But she clearly didn't mean the same to him, not if he could say such things, and the agony of that realization gripped her so completely that it left her paralyzed.
Having never seen Tegan angry, much less had that anger aimed anywhere in her direction, Bat was rendered utterly speechless. She felt as if her stomach dropped into her feet as Tegan forcibly turned away from her and began to stomp away into the night. Of course, there was part of her that wanted to call out after him or even chase him; she wasn't above either of those things.
But Tegan's angry words were more than the sum of their parts. Bat couldn't imagine ever speaking to him that way, because she cared for him so dearly and he meant so much to her. But she clearly didn't mean the same to him, not if he could say such things, and the agony of that realization gripped her so completely that it left her paralyzed.
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