Haunted Wood I wanna take advantage

Her words brought a realization to him- 
she had been in love with him. 
He nods in understanding. 
Nix had been his world. The father he needed. Which is what made the pain of his betrayal so much worse. 
"I'm torn," he utters softly. "Everyone I tell about Nix tells me he's a lot like Venegance. It's easy to hate someone when you think about all their evil acts. And you try to search for the slightest sign of an indication they weren't some monster....but then I'm stuck wondering if I was just a pup trying to find love and affection where there wasn't any." 
He didn't know why he was unloading all of this on her. Perhaps convienience, perhaps wanting another perspective besides Valour's bitter commiserating. If she were here, and he didn't find her so fucking insufferable, he might share these words with Hela as well. 
Her second response makes him bristle, dredging forward the two conflicting thoughts always in his mind. 
"There's enough innocent blood on my paws to drown myself in one of these days. Which is why I'm leaving here- I need a chance to find something other than blood. Other than violence. To make my own choices. " To maybe not hate himself so much. "All the fucked up things I did in that pack- and after- were because of Nix. I didn't choose this path. Nix did. Nix and maybe some cruel higher being, lazily deciding where I go and what happens to me." He snorted at the thought, some thing hunched over a glowing surface, eagerly plotting. 


4th wall break,, lol