Blackbeak Bluff doors are meant to close behind you

cerulean's attempt at a new beginning had ruined them all.  maybe it would have been better for them all to have died at the mercy of the wolves of their birth pack.  anything must have been better than this.  than to have @Lazuline be right, to have @Viridian be sick. 

after the results of her last attempt at healing, cerulean was hesitant to let lazuline treat their sister, but felt there was no other option as the days passed and every hour seemed to turn for the worse.

i'll come back for you, she murmured into her sister's neck before she turned heel and left, trying to keep her hopelessness at bay.

aimlessly, she trailed up the coast.  a thicket of trees opened up to a bare faced cliff.  she thought about what it would be like to be sucked beneath the water and have her brains dashed against it.

she blinked, succumbed to her sorrow, and collapsed to the ground in tears.

Lazuline’s suspicions of that place had been right all along. They should’ve listened to her the moment she spoke. But no, her say had been cast aside. Now look.

A brief chuckle whisked through her clenched teeth. 

Look at us. The irritation in her voice was veiled with a chipper tune and a wavering smile.

She stopped near the tail-end of her sister, who lay quietly in the sand.

I knew it. I knew it. I told you we should’ve kept going! But nobody listens to me.

She began to pace in circles. Cerulean’s figure was blurred by slowly mounting anger.

Now look. Look at Viridian. Injured. Sick! Now I have to fix the mess you two got us into. Good god, I mean I can but-

She could. She was a good medic. The most skilled between the three.
She could and she would and she would not fuck it up.
Not again.
She could.

Lazuline grit her teeth. It isn’t easy you know! I can’t just find everything I need at this time of year.

she'd come to find peace.  instead, chaos followed her.  what had she done to deserve this?  any of this?  life wasn't fair and it would never be.  how could she expect it to be, when her whole life she'd been shown otherwise?

get away from me,  she lashed, voice filled with venom, too steady for the way she had just been crying.  she made little attempt to veil the anger that crossed her face.  you have no idea when to stop, do you?  cerulean rose, snapped her fangs at the air between them.  from her perspective, it looked like her teeth would clamp down on lazuline's head (though she would not be rewarded the satisfaction).  she imagined it, the same way a person standing some distance from another might "squish" the other's head between their fingers.

why are you out here anyway?  you think leaving her alone right now is what's best for her?  is that the kind of care you'd prescribe?

she knew she was going too far, but she couldn't prevent this outburst.  outpour.  you're useless, you know that?  she didn't mean that.  oh, god let her stop.  do you need me to go play nurse while you look for — whatever it is you need?

Her sister rose to her level with a sharp hiss. Lazuline’s glare locked onto her bared teeth that now snapped in her direction. 

Unbelievable, she huffed under her breath. Of the three she should’ve been the only one to be mad. The other two brought all this on themselves. She wanted nothing to do with this from the beginning.

Cerulean made it clear she was too upset — unjustifiably so — to speak properly. She was content with leaving her to wallow in her frustrations. Save her breath for when the time was right. But she had to keep going and going until -

You’re useless.

Lazuline couldn’t bring herself to leave after that.

She narrowed her eyes and the smile was wiped from her face.

Useless? Me?

No. She wasn’t.

I don’t see you taking care of Viridian. Or getting medicine for her, or- or- doing shit!

After a growl she inhaled deeply. Then she took a few steps forward. 

You know what? No. Don’t play nurse. How about you go look for the stuff I need so I can do my work? Instead of, you know, laying around. The faltering smile returned to her face. 

Cobwebs and birch bark. That’s the best you’ll find in this horrible weather. She spun around on her heels and began to walk away. Over her shoulder she shouts; And don’t keep me waiting.

all of the trouble they'd run into since coming here had been thanks to zuli.  cerulean hadn't pissed on any caches.  every time, every mess, no matter how catastrophic or how much it fucked up their lives, it would be cerulean who had to deal with the aftermath. 

and it would never be enough.  no matter what she was able to scrape together for them, they'd find something to complain about.  why couldn't lazuline understand that none of them were happy?

the moment her sister opened her mouth, the belief that zuli would never listen was cemented in cerulean's mind.  she expected an outburst, but what she received instead was a deep wound from zuli's carefully crafted words.

i don't see you ... doing shit!

cerulean deflated instantly, like a popped balloon.  while zuli and viri had training and skills to offer, cerulean had never taken up a practice.  she took the onslaught wordlessly, dutifully, and as her sister turned to leave cerulean stood shaking.  she wouldn't be looking for bark or cobwebs, that was certain. 

instead, she turned and headed up the coast.


if zuli hated her so much, cerulean would see how they fared without her.