Broken Boulder but then the special secret sickness starts to eat through you

they're so far away from the forest now, delight wonders if he'll ever make it out back there. if there was any reason for him to even go -- to visit the king elk's grave? burke's? they're just dust in the dirt at this point. 

still, it's isolating in a way that the vale hadn't been -- or even the forest. it suits him. right now delight's functioning just rotely. he helps alarian because alarian took him and his future children in. he looks after queenie because she's still his friend and she's carrying said future children. he eats because if he doesn't he'll die and he's not gonna abandon, again, the future children. he ... he wonders where mato went. he wishes he didn't.

today he moons alone, letting himself grieve quietly, or as close as he can come to grieving.

The Governor's sister was also seething, grieving.


Alarian had returned and dropped the information on her that their mother was dead but when she has pried for information he closed off.  He wouldn't tell her information she deserved to know -- was entitled to.

And although in the sanctuary rank was of little consequence, he had promoted his friend who had never even interacted with any of their pack and had withdrawn so severely she hardly knew there was company.

She thought not for the first time that she simply wasn't happy here... but she was obligated to stay.  She trailed somewhere in the sanctuary, lost in her thoughts when the new subject of her ire seemed to materialize from the trees.

She regarded him coolly, simply waiting.

he smells alarian's sister before he sees her, searching briefly for her name -- lanawyn, right. she does not look so thrilled by his presence (join the club). awkwardly he shifts toward her, unsure if her silence is in invitation for him to speak first or if she's just waiting for him to move on and leave her alone. after a few beats he decides he'd rather err on the side of interrupting her solitude than coming off as rude by not acknowledging her verbally, and clears his throat.

"hey," he says, doing his best to sound approachable (or at least not flat as he feels). "um. lanawyn, right? thanks for allowing queenie and i to join you." even if it was basically alarian's decision without any input as far as delight can tell. it still seems polite. especially since he accepted alarian's offer of a promotion. it hadn't occured to him yet how the other wolves of bracken might feel about that (hell, he's not sure how he feels about it yet). he still doesn't carry authority well, never did at tindómë, certainly doesn't here, where he's a stranger -- mostly he feels obligated to help alarian out, however he needs. and that he's ... a nice distraction, sort of, from everything else, certainly helps.

She wants to hate him.  She wants to watch him crumble, an easy scapegoat.  For once in her life someone cows before her instead of the other way around.  As if she holds any kind of power here.  As if she matters.

But she can't bring herself to.  "We did not have much of a choice."  Her tongue is as sharp as her scrutinizing gaze.  "But I do not think my brother made a bad decision.  Welcome home, Delight."

She does not offer a response to his question.  "I trust that you will lead us well."

he winces before he can help himself when she calls him on his bullshit niceities. maybe he should have said no -- but it's too late now. stepping back down would just hurt alarian and probably make him look worse to the rest of the pack. 

"um, yeah. thank you," delight mumbles, looking more miserable than he'd like to let on. "any advice -- or uh, insight -- you've got to offer is appreciated," he adds hesitantly, hoping she'll accept it as an olive branch and not take it as condescention. i mean. he's gotta try, at least.

She hadn't meant it so that he would ask her advice.  I've got no place telling you how to do your job.  To be honest, the Sanctuary is fairly lax.  I am sure you'll do fine.  She felt, well, actually really bad about it now.  Just be sure to take care of yourself.  You look kind of.. stretched too thin.  She didn't want to openly doubt his ability to lead, but, well.  He looked like if he got too stressed out, he might keel over and die.

oh. right. he nods, a little shyly, feeling embarrassed when she notes his condition. he is, but there's not much that can be done for it now. "thank you," delight says, again, blushing under his fur, "i'll be fine, just -- a lot of, uh, changes, recently." y'know, with the whole 'disolving of his pack' and 'knocking up his best friend' thing. (and eventually the wolves of bracken will learn that 'looking like he's about to keel over and die' is his standard mien -- for a boy who's been in leadership for  a long while, he's never quite managed to adopt the confidence such a role supposedly imbues you with.) 

anxious to switch the conversation from him and his general failings, and hoping still to established a good relationship with alarian's family, he clears his throat. "i'm, um, sorry about your mother," delight says, carefully. "alarian told me -- a little bit. i know what it's like to lose family. it sucks." to put it lightly, but she probably doesn't need a deep statement -- she's living it right now.

She kind of wanted to be mad at Alarian for telling Delight, but she had told Lily, and they both deserved a confidant.  She just kind of wished that it wasn't her new boss.  Not that that's how the Sanctuary was run, but it seemed as if Queenie didn't know that (from what she'd heard).

Delight seemed different, though, softer.  Hey, it's okay.  If Lanawyn would have known about Seabreeze, she probably won't have been so forward... but Lanawyn was kind of a counsellor, too.  I'm sorry you know what it feels like.

Something else would be better to talk about.  [q]The kids, though.. how are you feeling?  They should arrive soon.

he offers her a tight, strained smile, easing his way onto whatever middle ground they'd managed to carve out. it's better than nothing. even if he doesn't really want to think about them. "soon," delight agrees vaguely, turning it over in his head. trying to remember what his line of logic had been at the time besides smells nice and mato might look at me again. 

sheesh, poor queenie. "i'm ready, i think," he says, hoping it's an acceptable enough answer for her. "queenie's not used to being.. benched, so to speak, so i'm sure it's been harder for her." and boy he should really make an effort to uhhh check in with her sometime, shouldnt he? that's what fathers to be do?? with their ... with the mothers of their children? haha oh hell.

She nodded, her mood turning stormy.  She went off at Alarian.  But we attributed it to hormones.  She couldn't imagine that someone as sweet as Delight could hole up with someone ike that but she knew better than to say something like that out loud to a complete stranger.  You may pass on the message, if you would like, that I could let them nurse on me until I begin to lactate so she may resume her duties earlier.

Where did that come from?

ah yep. that sounds like queenie. he can't help but try to hide the fleeting smile across his face, a flicker of inappropriate amusement -- but it's so queenie, and it's what he likes about her, even if he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. still. delight clears his throat, nodding. "thanks," he says, a little surprised by the offer, but genuinely appreciative. "i'm sure that'll -- i'm sure she'll appreciate that. she's very, um. productive," delight says, the politest way he can think of to say 'aggressively type a'. 

"honestly, i have no idea what i'm doing," the adrogyne admits in a rush -- impulsively, but embolded by lanawyn's kindness to him. she reminds him of gracious and of seabreeze, of the kind women in his life that have allowed him to be messy and confused and reassured him anyway. (maybe at some point he should examine his relationships with women, but -- unlikely, let's be real.) he shifts from paw to paw and laughs, a stilted, awkward sound. "we hadn't -- it was kinda, kinda unplanned. i feel like i'm probably gonna do everything wrong." is sure of it, in fact, but saying so out loud would be uncouth. probably.

She laughed genuinely, without malice.  Isn't that what parenthood is?  She could tell by looking at him that Delight was going to be better than Arnlith had ever been and that Celia ever had the chance to be.  Besides, who knows.  Queenie might really step up and take everything over.  You know.  Productive.