Sun Mote Copse I don't need to be reminded what it takes to kill the fun

@Clover

Kiwi kept going until she reached the borders of the Copse, opposite direction of Redhawks.  No way her mom would follow now, which was good, because she was panicking.  What was wrong with her?

Breathing heavily, Kiwi sat with her back to the border and stared at her paws.  This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  They were supposed to be here and happy, Mom leading and Kiwi helping and eventually taking over.  This was their family now. The ones who left... they shouldn't have this kind of effect.  They couldn't, because if they did, then how could they ever be sure things would stay okay?  

The thoughts barely made sense to her even, but even as she thought it, she felt her eyes welling up.  She didn't want Bat dead.  She didn't.  She just wanted her to stop hurting mom, because every time she did, Kiwi had no idea how to fix it.

*CRASHES* how bout an old lady that looks like her :D

As much as Fin liked the Copse and knew in her heart that this was where she wanted to be, she continued to struggle with the fact that she had left the Redhawks. Or abandoned them, to be more precise. It hadn't felt like that back when she and Elwood had been making the decision, but now that all was said and done, it really super did. All the reasons she had come up with felt so flimsy now, and much as she tried to console herself with the fact that everything would be okay once everyone adjusted to the new living arrangements, she could not force out the guilt that weighed her down day in and day out.

It totally sucked. I liked it better when Fin avoided the drama and the bad feelings. Worked out a lot better for me, personally. But oh well.

The Blackthorn was loitering on the borders, considering making a trip to the Plateau when she'd heard Towhee's unmistakeable yodel. Curiosity had drawn her towards the call, but she ended up getting distracted along the way by a flash of red rushing away from the scene. Finley paused, considering which path to take. And eventually, she turned to follow the wolf she was pretty sure was Wildfire's little doppleganger of a daughter, as something told her that this was where the need was greater.

Fin came upon her not too far from where she herself had started, breathing hard and looking like a bit of a mess. She had never formally spent any time with the girl, but she approached without hesitation anyway. Any daughter of Wildfire's automatically became an adopted psuedo-daughter of hers, whether they liked it or not. "Hey, you okay?" she asked as she neared, her face fixed in a concerned expression.

Oh wow no she was not.  Yeah, she said without looking up, and her ears pinned back.  She didn't even know who this wolf was, not by voice.  She recognized it but couldn't place a name.  Fine.

Her tone was aggressive enough that she clearly wasn't fine, but as far as freakouts went, this was one of the bigger ones she'd had.  She didn't know why she wasn't fine, so how would she even be able to talk about it anyway?  Besides they'd just tell her mom and Kiwi couldn't have that happening, not when things had been going so well lately.  Well.  Pretty well anyway.

Fin quirked a brow at the response she was given, which was so blatantly inaccurate, she had to fight back her smile. Her tone aside, there was nothing else about her that suggested that she was at all "fine". Her posture was tense, her expression miserable. Fin was reminded very much of her own past experiences with being "fine". When she'd been in those moods, she had always wanted to just be left alone. Kiwi likely did too. Which is why Fin settled onto her haunches and made herself comfy.

"You're a terrible liar," she commented, "But that's to be expected with a mother like Wildfire. We can work on that if you want. In the meantime, how about you spill?"

She didn't look up until Finley called her a terrible liar, which is when she did only to shoot a scalding glare.  Alright, anger.  This was familiar.  How about you leave me alone?  She shot back, though she knew it was immature the instant it left her mouth.  So what.

Bat's back.  Go talk to her.  She added a little more quietly, but still surly.  She didn't want to work on anything right now; she wanted to mope, and Finley was definitely harshing her vibe with that.  Still, a part of her was glad; feeling angry at the woman was a hell of a lot better than the nothing she'd been feeling before.

Fin wasn't the least bit surprised by the dismissal that was spat her way. It wasn't lost on her that this girl was her Regent, which meant Fin probably ought to obey her. The Blackthorn had never been good at things like that, though. She sort of just did her thing, and it usually worked out okay. "Mmmm... Maybe later," she answered, wanting to make it clear that she wouldn't be that easy to get rid of, but keeping her tone casual enough so as not to seem downright disrespectful.

The next comment had Finley forgetting all about that nonsense though. The next comment had her floored. Bat was back? Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open in surprise. "She's back? She's alive?" she asked eagerly. She didn't need to wait for the confirmation for the smile to beam across her face and the happy, relieved laugh to tumble forward. Bat was alive! She knew it. She knew it, she knew it, she knew it! "Thank fucking God..." Fin said, shutting her eyes briefly and letting her mind jump to Wildfire and to Tegan and to all the others that would be (and probably already were) thrilled by this news.

And then... Wait a minute.

Her eyes popped back open and she canted her head at Kiwi. "Wait..." she said, squinting at the girl, "How come you're not thanking fucking god right now?" Wheels were turning and things were clicking into place, but they were going there by pure assumptions, and Fin wanted to understand.

The way Finley reacted was pretty expected, but Kiwi couldn't help but feel a sting at it.  Seriously.  Go talk to her about whatever she wanted to talk about.  

Finley's question, probably unknowingly, prodded right at the center of the complicated complicated knot of guilt, jealousy, and general upset roiling at the girl's center.  So she flinched, then whirled around on her.

Because I don't care! she shouted, the fur along her spine raising along with her voice.  So leave me alone.  She should go find Wildfire and they could be happy together that Bat was back and whatever.  She wouldn't be going.  She didn't want to see Bat again, so she didn't care.

She didn't.

"Kiwi!" Clover had shouted after her friend, "Wait for me!" Spoiler alert: Kiwi had not waited. 

Instead, Clover trailed behind her friend for quite some time, winded by the long spurt of running. She was not used to running so long, and by the time that she arrived, she heard the Regent's heated roar. 

"mOM!!!1" Clover shrieked as she skidded to a halt, already embarrassed by whatever Finley had done to make Kiwi so angry. "Leave Kiwi alone!!!1"

Kiwi shouted and tried once again to dismiss her. Fin didn't budge. Two and two were definitely clicking into place now, and although she still didn't know what exactly had caused the rift she suspected existed between the two sisters, she could see that there definitely was one, and Kiwi was hurting over it something fierce. She gave the girl a small, compassionate frown and was about to speak when someone else began to shout at her.

Finley turned her head to peer over her shoulder as none other than Clover came stampeding towards her. She quirked a brow at this. She hadn't realized her daughter had become such good friends with Wildfire's. She might've also wondered why Clover deemed this a scream-at-her-like-she-was-trying-to-murder-kiwi type of situation, but it was Clover. This was not strange.

"Okay, kids, why don't we all take a deep breath here and just calm down a second," Fin said, trying to use her most soothing, calm tone - something she herself had only developed in the last couple of years, "No one is trying to hurt anyone here. There's only help being offered. A listening ear, maybe a bit of advice. Nothing that requires or deserves any rage or shouting at. Okay?"

Clover rolled up just in time, and Kiwi felt a flare of righteous affection when the girl came immediately to her defense.  They were kindred souls in a way... Sequoia was her best friend, but Clover had a passion of view that matched her own.  She didn't try to make peace... she backed her up one hundred percent.

I'm calm, Kiwi said rebelliously, though she did lower her tone.  She was technically higher in the pecking order than Finley, and something in her knew she shouldn't be screaming at the woman as a proper Regent.  I just don't want to talk to you.  Pointed and more than a little rude.

Why did adults always need to talk about things anyway? Kiwi was fine.  And besides, Finley obviously had her mom's mindset, and that meant she wouldn't understand.  Maybe Clover would.

As Finley explained her involvement in Kiwi's tribulation, Clover trotted so that she could stand alongside her friend. "Yeah, Mom," she replied, almost as rudely as Kiwi had. "She doesn't want to talk to you." This was her ride-or-die after all, and she would do anything for her friend. 

"I'll talk to her instead," Clover encouraged, her voice softer. "Kiwi doesn't need any more stress." Especially since they'd just learned that Bat was alive.

Well, neither of them seemed any more open to her intervention, but they did at least seem to get the point now. Finley sucked in a deep breath and told herself not to roll her eyes as Kiwi dismissed her, again. She may have protested, but Clover was right there, onboard with it. She glanced sidelong at her daughter with a look that quite plainly declared her skepticism that she could handle this. But, in the end, who was she to force herself into a situation where she wasn't wanted? There were plenty of others not too far from here where she knew she'd be more than welcome.

Still. She gave a pointed look at Clover as she turned to go and said quietly, "Just remember, anger doesn't heal," she advised before stepping lightly away from the both. Anger always felt good in the moment, but it never made anything better or easier in the long run. What she didn't want was to turn her back and let this become a bitch-fest at Wildfire's or Bat's expense. That was like throwing calamine lotion on a mosquito bite - it brought relief for a little while, but there was still an itchy as fuck lump on your leg, ruining your life when you brushed it lightly against something ten minutes later.

Fin out!

She didn't need advice, or calming down.  She knew what Finley, and what her mom, would expect from her - at least she thought she knew.  And she wasn't interested.

What she needed was someone on her side, who would agree with her that everything sucked and not try to fix it.  She didn't know exactly what it was about everything that sucked, and she didn't really want to know.  That felt too much like fixing it, and she wanted to wallow for a while.  Clover was a good one to wallow with.

Finally Finley agreed to let them go, and walked off with some kind of parting advice.  Kiwi rolled her eyes (behind, of course) but didn't say anything, instead looking back at Clover.  Thanks.

"Just remember, anger doesn't heal," Finley warned, and the statement went disregarded by Clover. Instead, as her mother walked away, Clover turned towards Kiwi with an expression of concern. "Of course," she replied, her lips folding downwards into a frown.

"Do you wanna talk... or...?"

She did and she didn't.  She didn't think she needed to talk, but since she felt like she could dish with Clover about what was bothering her without Clover trying to fix it or something, yeah.  She'd talk.

Mom and everyone are stoked about my sister being back.  Which, yeah, I'm glad she's not dead.  But I wish she'd stayed gone.  It was a super unfair statement, seeing as Bat had been here first, but Kiwi wasn't interested in fair.  It's not like she's happy we're here, or even wants to be sisters.  So I'm not going to pretend I'm all happy about it either.  It was practically the same concept she'd eventually share with Wildfire, but the tone and phrasing were completely different because she knew who she was talking to.  No way would Clover take Bat's side over hers, right?

"Yeah, you don't need to be happy about it," Clover agreed quickly as she sat at her friend's side. "Bat sounds like she's bein' selfish—" Clover added, scrunching her nose, "—just like fuckin' Tegan. I think that they've been hanging together out for too long." 

"I think that you should just ignore her," she decided after a pause, glancing at Kiwi. "You'll be better off doing that."

Kiwi had figured that Clover would back her up, but hearing it made things so much better.  You're right, I will. She said, smiling at her friend and resolving it.  She was going to pretend she wasn't there and, someday if Bat ever wanted to apologize for being an awful sister, maybe.  Probably not, but maybe.  

 Not like she ever would though.  She probably had already managed to forget Kiwi existed anyway.

Let's go see if @Niamh wants to chase coyotes, Kiwi said suddenly, standing up and waving her tail.  She was tired of being upset, and now it was time to work some of this irritation out with a good old chase.

"Hell yeah," Clover agreed enthusiastically, "I'm sure she will—she's always up to chase coyotes." Niamh was good shit; she loved hanging out with their blonde-furred packmate. 

With an agreement between then, Kiwi and Clover set off to find their friend.