Haunted Wood I'll be off to find another way

@Clarence

The days ticked past slowly since his decision to leave to be with Fen. It was impulsive, to give up the only way of life he knew for a change at finally quieting the siren song in his chest, the feeling that he didn't belong. Perhaps had never belonged. Of course he was still a warrior, and still would work to get his official title as such, but just not...here. Not on this blood soaked land, not under Nix and Vengeance's shadows. But he wasn't heartless. He couldn't just leave the few friends he had made here. He was leaving behind Nix's teachings...and that meant staying in touch with people who he had learned to care for. 

He had a freshly caught catfish in his jaws, a rare delicacy he had learned to catch as a kid. Grinning he made his way to the dens, confused by the blending of scents. Serem...and Santi, those were to be expected. Santi and Clarence...ok. maybe they had adopted the boy?

Clarence hummed as he woke, stretching and yawning. Serem and Santiago's scents still hung in the air, the latter soothing him greatly. Red eyes squeezed shut as he yawned and got to his feet, stretching and popping the joints in his shoulders. The piebald boy hopped out of the den and headed to relieve himself against a tree not far off, and when he was finished, he caught another familiar scent. 

"Memory," he called, tail waving as he trotted up to the brown wolf. "You caught a fish!"

He couldn't help the happy wag his tail gave as Clarence greeted him, and he dropped the massive fish with a thud. 
He gave a friendly nudge to the boy, laughing. 
"I did. A big one, too. Would you like some? I uhh...I needed to talk to you anyway." 
He knew he was going to break Clarence's heart. He just hoped the boy would understand.

"Yeah, thank you," he responded, surprised that he was being offered breakfast out of the blue. He settled down across from Memory and tipped his head to the side, concerned when the man spoke again. "What'd you need to talk to me about?" he asked, waiting both for Memory to take the first bite and also to speak.

He laid down, teeth crunching through the skull of the fish, tongue probing at brain and flesh. 
he left the belly and meat for Clarence to try first. 
Finally he spoke, a deep sigh followed by the words, curt and simple. "I'm leaving." 
He says, resignation in his voice. "Nightwalkers, I mean. I'll still be around, in fact I'm going to be just up the valley towards the mountain. You can visit whenever you want. I promise." 
The words aren't sad persay, but they all bumble out of his mouth and leave him slightly deflated. 
"I met someone and she's asked me to stay with her pack....and I think I need to go. I can't do....this... anymore. The killing, the running around with rogues and monsters. The nightmares." 

Clarence bit happily into the fish's belly, savoring the weird flavor with a soft hum of appreciation. It was good, cool and fresh. Except, the fish wasn't the only thing Memory wanted to share with him today. Clarence paused at the words and turned red eyes up to the man. 

Leaving? 

That was... not a concept Clarence really understood. Not with wolves he cared about anyway. He'd seen it happen over and over and over, with the dogs he fought with, but they were never close. And then the pup that went missing here. But not someone leaving of their own accord. 

But Memory found a person that he wanted to be with.

Clarence was about to say he was okay with it, at least... until Memory's next statement. "Who are you calling rogues and monsters?" he asked, eyes flashing defensively. As far as he knew, just about everyone there were good wolves - trying their best. "Valour? Serem? Santiago?"

Seeing the boy enjoy the fish brought a grim  smile to his features. 
It was understandable he was hurt and upset. 
"No...I... obviously you guys aren't monsters...it's.." he backpedaled, slumped over slightly. "My whole life has been one long fight. Over and over. Im almost Four years old. I just... can't do it anymore. I'm not...I've gotta see what else there is besides this." 
It was the honest truth. When you had spent your life in a box, that life eventually got too small. "Fen is...she's gorgeous. You would love her. Shes a halfling, like you. And a healer. And her voice is just...and her eyes...and she's just..." He sighed, a smile on his face.

Clarence could relate to that. Fighting was a huge part of his life, and likely would still continue to be, but he was happier to be with his companions now instead of alone. And he didn't have to fight to kill. "Just... please don't say those things about people I care about," he murmured, glancing off to the side before looking back up. "I'm glad you found someone you love. I'd go anywhere to be with Santiago, too." It didn't occur to him that he hadn't told the man he was in a relationship yet. And while he had no interest in females, and probably wouldn't find her gorgeous - not in the way Memory did - he humored the man with a smile. "Maybe I can meet her someday."

He gave an easy-going smile. 
"Why would I. You guys are like family. The only family I have. That's why Im talking to everyone, instead of just fucking off like the first time. And I promise I'm gonna visit as often as I can- I'm just gonna be at the top of the valley. "
And then he finds his jaw on the ground- figuratively, this time, thankfully. "I...wait... you're with...but I thought..." He was now thuroughly confused. "wait, does Serem know? I thought they were together..." Now even more confused.

Clarence would never have asked Memory to stay if he wanted to leave - that wouldn't be fair. So instead he just smiled and nodded at the man's words. He wouldn't be far away, and he had someone who he cared for like Clarence cared for Santiago. That sounded good. 

Oh! He forgot he hadn't told him about Santiago. "Yes, we're mates," he said brightly, tail thumping on the ground. "And he's also mates with Serem, because he said it would make him happy, and you said that if I loved someone I'd do anything to make them happy."

The casual arrangement leaves him completely confused. 
"If it makes everyone happy, that's kinda cool. I don't think I could do it. I'm a one-person wolf."  He snorted and playfully mouthed at the enormous whisker of the catfish. Who was he to judge?

"Well, I am too," Clarence said thoughtfully, taking another bite of the catfish. "I don't want to be with Serem. I'm not. She's with Santiago. I don't like girls." He didn't, he realized. Not like that. "I don't know how it makes me feel." Jealous, maybe? But he was trying. "I want him to be really happy."

He heaved a sigh and measured a look at the kid. No, not kid. Young man. Why hadn't he realized that before? 
"Clarence. If you aren't comfortable with something, Don't force yourself to do it just to make someone else happy. If someone tells you you have to make them happy... that's not love. It's Control." He spoke gently. "Yeah, when you love someone, you want them to be Happy, but you have to be happy first. You're most important. Always. Anyone else can be replaced. Well, except pups but that's different." 

"No, no, I'm not... uncomfortable with it. I understand it and everything, and Serem is nice. Guess it's just taking some time to get used to." He smiled reassuringly. But, in reality, he likely wouldn't say anything, even if it did make him uncomfortable. "He didn't force me or anything. It was nice. Santiago loves me." And he loved him, too. 

"Do you love Fen?" he asked, tilting his head to the side and hoping to change the subject.

He frowned. 
clarence seemed to insist it was fine, just an adjustment. And Santiago had never struck him as sinister or cruel- but he knew enough to know things weren't always what they seemed. 
"If he hurts you, if anyone hurts you, come find me. " He snaps his jaws together in a mock threat and gives Clarence a almost fatherly nudge. 
His next question makes him think. "Not yet. I like her, a lot. And She has asked me to court her, so she likes me too. She's not afraid of me, or my scars, or my past. I don't love her yet but I want to." 

If anyone hurts you, come find me. Clarence was positive Santiago would never hurt him - the boy trusted him far too much to have even an inkling of a suspicion that he might. Part of him wanted to argue with Memory, a bit stung that he was leaving, that he would handle it on his own. But the greater part just smiled and nodded his head.

"Why would anybody be afraid of scars?" he asked in wonderment, having never thought of that possibility at all. But it wasn't important, so he just shook the question off. "I'm glad you found somebody. When are you planning on leaving?"

Again the pups innocence makes him smile. 
"Not everyone thinks scars are normal." He answers simply. The answer seems to satisfy Clarence because there immediately is a Follow-up. "Next full moon. Before the end of the lunar cycle."