Totoka River Try to convince ourselves.

The one you really gotta look out for. That had been Antumbra for Drageda. With the commander, they had felt invincible. Ephraim had believed they were because she gave them all strength. When she passed away, particularly by taking her own life, not only had Drageda lost its commander, but it had lost its willpower. Their strong commander that kept them united and fearless had ended her existence. For Ephraim, there was no weaker way to go, and the betrayal had severed the bonds that kept Drageda strong, and in the end they had crumbled.

Caiaphas must be like Antumbra for Rusalka. If her life was snuffed, then perhaps the rest of them would scatter, too. It should have been motivation enough to begin plotting and scheming his way into the pack, and truthfully there was a small part of Ephraim—the part that was undeniably an Eyjolfur—that yearned to do that. Vengeance for all that he had lost, not like it was her fault.

But he would never do it, because that's my mother, quietly spilled from his lips. Blackhead, the Dragedans called her. It was hard to say whether his voice was laced with more regret or anguish when he said it; either way, there was no positivity in his tone. What should have been yearning for his mother was weighed down by grief, because as much as the boy in him wanted to see his family again, he knew as well as Firefly did that they were likely to cut him down for dedication to the wrong wolves. All because they saved him from starving to death alone in the wilds and he foolishly thought he was one of them. He couldn't regret a choice he never made for himself, but he did all the same, for what that had taken from him.

I didn't know, he pointed out quietly, but he knew it would mean nothing. He had stood against his kin; whether he knew it at the time or not was unlikely to matter to the harsh wolves of the Sound. Drageda was a debt owed, and I paid it tenfold without realizing until it was too late. I left before they did. He didn't really know why he shared that, or what else there even was to say. It was hard to talk to someone you were expecting to attack you at any moment. And what was he expecting, anyway? He licked his lips, awkward as he lapsed into silence.