Moonspear a wrench for your wrench

Despite how rattled he was coming into this and how messily distracted everything felt when he looked past her, Hydra's support eased him through it, letting him be frank and honest about what it was to him--and that seemed to pay off when her outlook did not differ much from his own, though he was silent, letting it settle as he listened on.

They knew far too well what consequence looked like and what it could do. Maybe it was knowing how catastrophic a wrong choice could be that hung him up. Maybe it was simply all the not-knowing that made him feel like his feet were stuck in a thickening mud. He didn't know exactly what he wanted anymore. Charon had urged him towards a future with another, continuing their family's legacy and all, but it was also Charon's descent into his end after that same goal that set him right back into way too cautious for anyone's good. Amekaze had implied all the value in their heritages, how refined, in a different way--a painfully discerning one that he never quite understood how to work.

She does have a strength, one I guess I'm not very.. well-acquainted with, he agreed, for as Hydra said, it was different than their own on the surface--but very present all the same. It's kind of.. well, almost intimidating in a strange way? Which I think I can handle eventually. But, how am I--when I was not exactly anticipating being anyone's husband any time soon--supposed to measure up to be a wholly worthy one for her? I'm trying to not make that feel so daunting, he said, truthfully, fighting back the urge to fidget. And.. I suppose I've never been able to know for sure if I'd want to make a father, any day. Dad made me feel like I should want that but that worked out like it did for him, so... Jarilo clicked his teeth before he drew that silence off, scowling. I also think because of him, I do not feel like any mighty, wise alpha--neither is that something I aspire to be any time soon, and I guess in my head, those are the fathers first. But I know it's.. not always, he vented, hearing it aloud. This was the first time he had been able to talk about it. Hydra had cornered him about the topic so that was what she got. She could pick it apart all he wanted, he just wanted some assurances, or some discouragement. He felt so weirdly aimless for a wolf with so much.. besides everything, what exactly was he fighting for?

But--I know, I understand, he dipped his muzzle, then exhaled, knowing far too well how much weight his actions had in all of this. I am worried about Clover, though. She wasn't with the Firebirds anymore, last I heard so.. I don't know, I didn't expect any of... he shook his head and sighed again, letting her know that much just because it was very much on his mind whether he liked it or not. Startled into it, he didn't have much to do besides worry and hope that she wouldn't have trouble come her way because of it like the visitor that his sister warned about.