Panther Park I can't escape you

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Mention of violence against women

At last, he felt her against him. She pushed under his chin and he found everything was right with the world. His ears flicked away, and as she stiffened, Taikon looked away toward where he could have sworn he heard something moving. When he didn't see anything, he focused his attention back to her, and found that she had pulled away. She only half-understood what he had meant.
I do not just have sex with men I do not know. He quickly inserted, No I know, nodding profusely, worried he'd lose her again. Takiyok said she wouldn't be comfortable being with anyone else, and his heart sank for a moment. He knew, and he would confirm but he knew this meant that he would not be able to see Zephyr anymore in that way. He dreaded telling him. He recalled briefly what he had said about never feeling a connection like that before, and it crushed Taikon to have to tell him they simply could not follow their hearts.
And then she talked about it. She was confused. Fuck. Of course she knew — he was hardly a subtle beast.
He nodded slowly, and swallowed, looking down briefly. I don't blame you. I... He took a slow, shuddering breath, preparing by closing his eyes. The only way to tell her was to tell her what he had never told anyone. W-when I was a prince, I was betrothed to a very beautiful woman from another kingdom, he started, and this is related, I promise. He exhaled sharply in a hoo, licking his lips. I-I knew that I didn't feel... well really anything with her, not even romantic. And then I m-met... my.. she was a slave, he went on. She was from a band of coyotes that the queen had enslaved, and I felt... I felt that desire with her.
It cut him. Hard. Deep. Remembering Cella was impossible. He hated himself. He'd killed her.
My mother had her killed. Dismembered. She was pregnant. Heat rushed to his cheeks. Soundless tears overflowed. I don't know why I am like this. It's... the.. Zephyr is partly coyote, and that's why I— I can feel that. It's fucked up. I hate it. I want to be normal. He repeated it. I want to be normal.
If he was normal, Cella would still be alive, and he wouldn't have put Takiyok in this stupid, shitty position.
He had more to say, more to tell her. But he shook, almost violently, when he told her about Cella, and couldn't continue. He started his breathing exercise, feeling his body try to hyperventilate.