Duck Lake [m]Being born in a duck yard does not matter if hatched from a swan's egg

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His look as he approached was haunting and her heart broke even further. She had not wanted any of this…

All she had wanted was to belong somewhere—to someone. Her hurt and pain had been tenfold and all she had seen was red; she lashed out without thinking of the others around her and it cost her. And the regret she felt was crushing.

She should have kept her eyes on the iron-caped angel that appeared before her now, not the gilded angel who caused all of this pain, heartache, and utter chaos. She had been so selfish to want Reverie’s affection—she knew it had been a fool’s game. Reina had been chasing an image of someone that didn’t exist.

But, Everett was here, now, and all she could try to do was explain herself and hope for the best.

“Everett,” she said his name in return as way of greeting, her head lower than his, “I-I know. I hope he is alright; I am out here to find him as well. He had wounds that had taken much longer to heal and I’m afraid that they might have reopened. I’m also afraid of where his mental state might be…” She paused, a deep breath in, releasing it in a whoosh before she continued.

Everett could refuse her, and she would accept it, but she couldn’t let him go first before getting the chance to explain. “Everett—I understand that you might hate me for what I said earlier; I can see it in your eyes. I’ve seen that look on others who found out I like both males and females when I was younger…” It was true; despite being a leader’s daughter, she had faced harsh treatment and hurtful words because of her romantic interests.

“I am deeply sorry for springing that on you, on everyone. But—your sister kissed me. I loved her, then, I will admit that to you. Regardless, I respected that she was with Boone, I respected her even when Boone disappeared and she was grieving. I did not push anything. All I can be accused of is being there for someone who was hurting—my friend. I had found her, sitting by herself alone, and she looked troubled. When I asked her what’s on her mind, she turned around and kissed me. And then she ran, no explanation, just an apology. Nothing else.” And it had cut her deeply as she splintered.

“I felt used. Just like I have been used all of my life…” Her tears ran now, cascading over her cheeks. “All I wanted in this life, Everett, was to belong somewhere, to have a family, again. To…to love. To be loved.” 

She had been pacing as she spoke, but she turned to him, then, wet, stormy eyes searching for understanding in his. “I…I have had feelings for you, much as I had for Reverie, but wholly different. Where I felt consumed by her fire, you were soothing, a balm to my burning soul. Every moment that we had spent together was like a breath of warm, spring air. And I wanted more…but, then, the babies were born and you were always with them and Reverie, and I never got the chance to explore that with you, or, even if you felt the same. Selfishly, I was hurt and it was so stupid of me; you are not to blame for that. You were just doing what an uncle should…And, now, everything has been ruined. I have ruined everything in my life!” Her voice had risen, becoming shrill and full of anguish. 

She was so tired, so drained, so done with everything, that her thoughts drifted to poppy seeds, and how much she wanted nothing more than to become numb to all of this…