The Sunspire is where the world should want to be

terance came upon his friend outside of his and liffey's den-- perhaps just returning from bringing her a meal or perhaps just stopping by for a visit. either way, the swarthy male watched as @Rannoch caught wind of his scent and turned to look at him. of course, all his friendly manners died when he saw the way that poor terance looked. 

terance merely stared back. his shoulders rounded forwards and though his head didn't hang, it certainly was not held proudly. his eyes were dark and his expression was blank. and with a soft, wracking breath, terrance clarified for his friend.

"she left."

Rannoch was momentarily at a loss of words. Although he had known that this day would come, Rannoch hadn't anticipated the surge of grief that silenced him. 

"Tee," Rannoch replied eventually, his voice thick; he knew that nothing he said would help.  So instead of elaborating, Rannoch moved forward and pressed his nose to Terance's nape; this motion often comforted his children, and he hoped that it'd do the same for his dearest friend.

terance took another deep breath as his friend came closer to comfort him. his eyes closed and he took a few moments of silence to process his thoughts and to calm himself. he was not... frantic, perhaps in shock, but more than anything terance simply felt broken. more broken than usual. 

he pulled back, standing stiffly now. "olive left with her-- and their children," he said, and before rannoch could ask he clarified, "ibis and okeanos too." 

"she said she was going to come tell you," he added-- but he would be breaking the news first. while seabreeze presumably ran straight back to olive, terance always ran straight back to rannoch. 

"They told me," he confirmed, "I just didn't know when it would happen..." Rannoch then pulled away from their embrace and positioned himself so that he could face Terance head-on. "They said they were going to find Delight, right?" Hopefully a scout would find Sunspire within the coming weeks to confirm that they made it to the Sanctuary. 

There was so much that Rannoch wanted to ask Terance but, he silenced his most prying thoughts—now was not the time to overwhelm the Beta. Instead, the Alpha settled on, "Will you go and visit soon?"

"no," said terance simply, and then right after, "maybe." he stared numbly at rannoch for a moment before looking away. "it doesn't matter what i do. they'll forget me. seabreeze will find a new mate and they'll look at him like their father," he said, already breaking at the thought of it, "i'd have to visit every week, rannoch, and i can't do that to the pack." 

maybe this was just pessimistic-- maybe seabreeze would keep terance's memory alive with their children... but he was too darned sad to really consider it. she was leaving him.

Terance's answer escalated quickly; his uncertainty replaced with fear and remorse, and Rannoch found himself suddenly uncertain about how to continue their conversation. He hesitated for a moment, his thoughts floundering, before validating his friend's concern. "I can understand why you'd feel that way," Rannoch replied, speaking every word with care. "I'd feel that way, too, if I were in your paws." 

"Did you guys talk about them visiting for an extended period?" he wondered next, in an attempt to inject some positivity into their discussion.

terance was quiet, even as rannoch expressed sympathy. he appreciated it, every word, rannoch always sounded so genuine, but he just didn't know what to say. 

"no," he then said, ears splaying, "we didn't talk." at all. but, truthfully, terance hadn't thought of that. maybe he should've talked to her. "maybe i'll visit and find out," he commented thoughtfully, his brow furrowed. then, sadly, terance added, "i hope she'd let me."

There was something about Rannoch's exchange with Seabreeze and Olive that he was forgetting—something import. As Terance expressed wanting to see his children, Rannoch suddenly remembered. An expression of wonderment suddenly appeared on Rannoch's face, and he looked at his friend with wide eyes. 

"Wait," he said, "Wait, a minute, we talked about this—Seabreeze and I, that is." His words were spoken breathlessly as if he were forcing each syllable out as quickly as he could. "She said that you're always welcome, wherever they settle. She wanted to tell you but, apparently, you ran off or something?" Details that weren't important to Rannoch—only the message that he delivered held importance. 

"When that scout comes and lets us know where they live, you need to visit them. Sunspire will be fine." His voice thickened. "Your children need you."

his expression grew sour, maybe hurt. "is that what she told you?" terance asked, ears splaying, "she ran away." terance was a coward in some aspects, but never would he run from something like that (foreshadowing. fuckin hypocrite). 

but regardless, the beta inhaled heavily. "but if that's what she said then-- one day i will visit," he said, brows still knitted together.

Terance's expression soured, and Rannoch's ears immediately flattened; he hadn't anticipated this reaction. "Oh, dude," he replied, "I'm sorry—I didn't mean to, like,"

Rannoch floundered mentally, evidently surprised with the turn of events. 

"... I'm sorry," he reiterated, unable to find the right words.

"don't--" began terance, but not meanly. it was soft, quiet, now upset that he'd made rannoch upset with his tone. his friend was only trying to help. "it's not your fault." it's mine. the words caught on his tongue, though they weren't entirely silent, as his expression fell again.

"I know but," Rannoch replied and took a step towards Terance. "I don't know, dude, I feel bad—I just want to help you feel better. And I just seem to make it worse." He frowned, and his ears flattened.

"it's not you-- you haven't done anything wrong," he said, trying to reassure his friend. "i just-- don't know how to feel better. i don't know if there are any magic words." probably the most sense terance had made this whole conversation.

"i gotta force myself to be better. pretend nothing's wrong. if i speak it into the world it'll be true." how naive and stupid. he sucked in a breath. "i am gonna be fine," he said, letting out the breath. he looked to rannoch for reassurance.

"Take it one day at a time," Rannoch advised; Terance's coping mechanisms weren't the healthiest. "You will have good days, and you'll have bad days, too," he acknowledged—their conversation felt like deja vu. "And I'll be here, too, always." He took another step closer, and nudged his friend's cheek. 

"Just... don't force yourself to feel a certain way. I did it before, and it ended horribly," he admitted.

terance was quiet for a moment, but then he nodded. "okay, i will--" he wouldn't, "i won't force anything--" he would, "thank you, rannoch." most of terrance and rannoch's conversations did tend to feel like deja vu-- didn't they?

Rannoch smiled, happy that Terance took his advice. "Of course," he replied softly. "I'll always be here for you, T." 

"If it makes you feel any better, I've got a fox's pelt back at my den that you could shake around—I got the idea from the kids," he mused. "You down for that?"

terance hesitated, lips pressed together. "no," he replied simply, ears splaying, "i think i'm just going to go rest." that was all he had the emotional energy for right now. he glanced up at his friend.

"tomorrow, though, i will meet you for patrol?" just like always, like usual. nothing would change. terance would go about his life as always.

Rannoch understood. "Yeah, that's fine," he replied with a nod, "I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early." With their plans made, Rannoch took a step back. "Sleep well, and let me know if you need anything," the rest of his sensibilities were left unspoken—he would meet Terance at dawn for their patrol. 

"Night, T," Rannoch said as he turned away and he headed off in the direction of the family den.