Broken Antler Fen And I can’t put it off any longer

Much had been happening lately.  Her accident, the birth of the puppies, the approach of winter, days full of hunting and patrolling.  All of it had led to the question of why @Sebastian had been talking to a cursed Silvertip wolf and what his business was with them.  She didn't like them now, nor did she trust what they had become.  It didn't make any sense that her Father would willingly go behind her back like this.

So now she search for him, to confront him and ask why he had done what he had done.  Had her Father not taken her seriously?  Had he thought that her fear of the Silvertip wolves was childish?  Those thoughts both hurt her heart and she didn't want to think any deeper into them.  She just wanted her Father to love her, to trust her and to listen to her input.  

She just wanted him to know tell her why he had done what he had.

Sebastian knew that they never really got to talk about the whole thing with Silvertip. He felt guilty. The grey male was out on patrol, mostly through the territory to see if most of their created paths were still walkable or if they needed to be change. He also kept an eye if he saw marks of foxes, or worse, coyotes. He ended up at the thinking boulder by the stream.

The male jumped on it and sat down. His life had changed so much and it was definitely in a good way. Odette was wonderful and his four little potatoes with Pearl were also great. He wondered how things were going to go as they became older. He wondered who would stick around when they were an adult or who would want to lead the pack after him. Though what Sebastian did realize was that he would need to look for Odette and talk about what happened. He loved her dearly.

For a while longer she travelled, thinking of what she might say when she found her Father.  She carefully thought over how she would deliver her message and what she would say.  She thought of many possible ways she could deliver her message and the speech for it, but many she crossed out, unhappy with them until finally she came up with something and stuck with it.

She found him at the thinking boulder and slowly made her way towards him a little nervous.  "Hey Dad... we need to talk," she looked down uncertainly, "about Silvertip."  Her gaze rose once more, putting on a confident look, but she felt anything but confident on the inside and it showed in her eyes as her nerves ate her up.  Everything she had planned to say was gone from her mind and now she was just creating the words to say as she went.  "Why were you communicating with Silvertip behind my back Dad?"

Sebastian turned when he heard footsteps. They were of Odette he realized when he turned his head around. Sebastian jumped off the rock and landed before her. She went straight to the burning questions. He kept an open expression seeing that she had the right to ask after all. He sat down and looked at her. "You know I am a good man. I have morals, and like to do what is right. And at the time I thought that was the right thing to do," he spoke to her with so much honesty.

"You were very small when I found you. Only a few months. I began to think if this would happen to any of my children that the one who found my child would at least come and tell me," he explained. "I heard your story and what they did to you and if I am really honest I was curious what kind of pack it was. I wanted to look them into the eye and see what excuse they had for themselves. The only reason I went there was to tell them I found you and I would take you under my wing because it felt morally right to let them know you were safe. However I also went to them to say that they were not welcome at our borders until you would communicate to me you want to see them."

He briefly paused. "I went there to protect you. There was ever any open communication, Odie. I wanted to make it clear that they would only be welcome close to our borders, after I would send a messenger you would be okay with them coming to visit. That Silvertip wolf that came to our borders broke the promise Steady made, so indirectly Steady broke his promise to me." Sebastian was still very displeased about that and now it seemed to have created some insecurity with his daughter. It would probably not help how Odette was seeing her uncle, but ever since Steady broke his promise to him Sebastian didn't feel much need to let her rekindle with her former family.

"Perhaps I should have told you I visited them, but the trauma seemed so fresh. You were becoming happier. I just wanted to protect my daughter," he admitted to her and offered her a small smile. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. It wasn't my intention."

She was still hurt, but at least his response provided her some answers.  Still she couldn't help but think that he should have talked to her first, told her what he was going to do.  If he had it could've probably helped things for the better.  She especially wouldn't feel like her Father would go behind her back if he deemed it necessary without her permission.

"I understand where your coming from, but how would you like it if I talked to your Father, telling him where you were and not even telling you anything about the meeting or meetings or whatever.  It's just..." she glanced down at her paws, slowly sinking to her haunches.  "I want to know that you trust me enough to not let me find out things like this the hard way, because no offense but if you had just told me about the Silvertip thing I would never have run off when I saw that Silvertip wolf and..." she stopped there, not wanting to hurt her Father in anyway.  "I'd just perfer it if you spoke to me first if there ever is a next time..."

Sebastian listened to her words. He just wanted to be careful and not hurt her. But by thinking that keeping it from her was the better way it had not been the better way. Odette preferred the honestly and he would remember that well. "I am not perfect and as I said before from now on I shall be honest with you about everything. I agree that it is not pretty you found out this way. I trust you and I hope you can trust me again,' he spoke to her.

Sebastian shifted a bit closer and tried to give her a nudge in sorry. He looked over her. "If you want we could travel to Silvertip together?," he offered. "Not sure if that is something you want right now but if you do I can go with you," he admitted. He was not sure what the girl wanted. If she wanted to completely ignore her family. "Or we could just, you know, make it a spy mission," he shrugged, hoping that such a thing would be good to make up the lack of trust he created with her unintentionally.

She stiffened, uncertain, as he once agaun backed up his actions and then asked her if she wanted to go to Silvertip.  A small part of her, one that missed the rough surface of the mountain and the ledge where she once went to gaze at the night sky called for her to go back.  Yet another more cautious part of her bristled at the thought of going back to the place.  She wasn't really sure how to respond.

For a while she was silent, unsure of how to respond, until finally she just decided to wing it.  "Well... um... I'm not sure I um want to go back to uh Silvertip yet..." her gaze darted around nervously.  "I just um just need a little while to think things through."

Sebastian watched her with concern in the silence. He was afraid that he had said something wrong again. However eventually she spoke. Sebastian nodded after she spoke. "I didn't mean now. I just wanted you to know I would be open to bring you there and be support to you. Whenever you think it is the right time to go,' he offered her with a small smile.

He knew the road there and he could guide her. "But also to let you know that I would be okay with you going alone. Because I trust you," he added. It was the truth, Sebastian wouldn't let her go if he didn't trust her. "I am sorry if I caused distrust or doubt," he spoke more softly.

She could go alone.

That thought was even more tempting.  In her naive childish mind she imagined charging up to Silvertip and killing Steady then and there.  She didn't think this way much, but Steady was the one that she hated most in this world.  Still she did not yet entirely realize that she was actually luckier than others and that Steady had only been doing what her Mother probably would have done to anyone else who died during that terrible Famine like she almost had to Odie's brother.

Still there was a stark fear that rested within her.  What if she did go to Silvertip alone and she was wrong.  WHat if they killed her... or what if she got lost on the way?  No... she would find her way... right?  She could ask her Father for directions to Silvertip because after all he had been there.

There were also other reasons to go.  What if Stoic and/or Adeline were still there.  She could visit them and see them again.  Maybe she would not be remembered, but it would be good to see family again.

Those thoughts enticed her.

"I think I might want to go alone," she told him quietly, a little bit of unsureness peeking into her voice.  She wanted to do this alone, but still there was a little voice in her head telling her no, this wasn't a good idea.

Sebastian let her think about what he said and watched her thought process. She then told him that she considered going alone. This was tough to hear for him but he would let her go alone if she wanted that. He knew that if he wouldn't let her go on her own their trust would be fully broken. The male didn't want that to happen and knew he would have to let het go.

"Alright. But tell me if you leave to visit them. Yes?," he returned to his daughter. That was the least he could ask from her. He would let her go but he did want to know when she would leave. Then he would know when something happened to her.

It was a comfort to hear her Father want her to tell him, when she would be leaving.  It made it feel like he really truly cared for her, but trusted her all the same... not that he didn't already.

"Alright Dad, I promise I'll tell you when I'm going," she told him with a faint smile.  Already thoughts of when she should go were milling through her.  The best choice she thought would work nicely though, was going after becoming a full member of Broken Antler Fen.  Currently she was eight months, but soon she that would bump up another to nine months.  When she would have an actual rank that would prove her to be an adult member.  Time really flew by fast.

Sebastian was glad when she promised and nodded to her. "Thank you," he spoke. The male smiled at her, hopefully they would be on better terms now. It looked like they were. She had showed him a faint smile. He was going to try and make everything right between them again. He didn't know he had hurt her so much, hence why he was so glad she told him.

-fade end-

decided to end it there because we have a new thread! :D