Blackfoot Forest take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears

the poor, wild creature simply did not understand.

first, these feelings.  she did not know why she was so attached to him.  her entire life had been secured in a dome of isolation, and she knew that bearclaw valley had shattered the constant solitude.

so it was only natural that she grow attached to him.  but she did not know why it festered in the back of her mind at all times — where's xan?  i wonder what he's up to — even when she desired to be by herself!  even if he was not physically there, his presence was constant.

and that was something to be said, considering there were packmates she had scarcely seen, some she hadn't even met yet.

and then, there was what had just happened.  she had expected him to chase her away with his teeth, but he still did not make to punish her, even after she had screwed up so glamourously.  if she had just let him have her, she wouldn't be in this situation.  she'd be hurt, maybe, but unrightfully so.. and her home wouldn't be on the line.

she watched him sink into the snow and her heart went with him, swimming in the depths of her churning stomach.  she moves to comfort him as he seeks her touch.  oh, how she wishes she could tell him that she never meant to hurt him!  she was never angry with him.  she's just... 

she's scared.  

because she doesn't know what the next step is, if there even is one, and if they're ready to take it.  she was afraid that someday, he would need something more from her and she wouldn't be able to provide it, or even worse — she wouldn't be able to understand.

she smooths his nose down her cheek then moves to bury her face in the plush fur at his neck, careful to avoid his healing injury.  oh, alexander, what had she done?

he gestures back towards the valley and she does not make to move.  her ears slide back, smoothing flat, and she whines.  

this is the third part.  they were there.  never before had she run from a fight but she had been outnumbered.  and they were still packmates.  but they would be lurking, waiting there for her.  she gestured at xan, motioning back at the valley and then gnashing her teeth together to accentuate this feeling.