Cedar Sweep It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

The wind changed and Ulrich's nose twitched before his eyes opened. He stood quickly, momentarily forgetting that Adylaide was so close, possibly jostling her. Weak morning light filtered through the trees. He scanned the horizon away from the forest, taking deep breaths. Yes... the wind had changed and the scent was unmistakable. To the northeast there was a pack. The fur along the nape of Ulrich's neck stood up in alarm and fear. They had to get out of here.

"@Adylaide." His voice was unpleasant, like he had gargled with gravel. "Get up. Wake up. We must move on, quickly." He did not look at her to see if she was rising, to see if she was awake. He kept his honey-brown eyes to the northeast, his body taut with apprehension.

The young lady was groggy as she fought to wake up. She groaned in irritation when he jostled her, and closed her eyes again. Moving to ignore him for the time being. She smelled something on the wind, but was too tired to care. She'd get up for her lessons momentarily. Why was Ully so pushy about them. It wasn't like they really meant anything to learn to speak and dance and lead. Ugh. 

Though his next words were full of apprehension and that was what woke her, like a shock of cold water. She realized what had happened and where they were. They were not home, and he was not waking her for a lesson.

She traced along the lines of his body with careful precision in her gaze. Something had him nervous. So she sniffed, got the scent of others, and stood quickly shaking her fur.

There's a pack near, we should greet them right?

He felt her stand up, heard her shake herself out. But he still faced the northeast, squinting into the distance, sniffing constantly. As far as he could tell, no one was coming, but with the smell of the entire pack on the wind, it would be hard to pick out one wolf's individual scent.

"There's a pack near, we should greet them right?"

Ulrich went still, then his eyes flicked towards Adylaide and he stared at her incredulously. "Absolutely not," he said firmly. "We don't know who they are or if they would be friendly toward us. We can't trust anyone out here. We don't even know where we are." He turned away from the pack and glanced around. "We should get moving. In the opposite direction. Put some distance between us and them. Let's go."

Rigidity at it's finest was Ully. As he stood at attention and kept a weather eye on the horizon and the wolves that lived across the rise. She tilted her head, lifting one ear and then the other and laying it down while she tried to form her thoughts, shake the morning drowsiness from her thoughts. 

Ady made a soft sound and shook her head. But manners and diplomatic training states that those of royal should meet the others in the land. It is presumptuous to not greet them at least at their borders.

She frowned. Isn't that what Queen Mother had taught her? Were the lessons wrong? Though the next questions drew her pause and made her truly wonder.

But what if they have resources to help us? What if they are nice?

Ulrich was too on edge to think of a kinder way to phrase what he was thinking. Adylaide, for all of her three years, could be very naïve, and he needed her to understand him quickly and not wander off to meet strange wolves. "You are not royal any longer," he snapped. "Not out here, not to the wolves of these wilds. Your parents were murdered in cold blood and we do not know why or who did it. Someone may be looking for us--for you. Right now I am disinclined to trust the help or the resources from anyone, even an old packmate. I am certainly not going to ask strangers for help." He took a breath, trying to cool the fire in his blood. "We are on our own, my lady. I'm sorry."

His words were harsh and they cut her tender heart to the quick. She gave a soft little gasp and frowned. 

So you will say what I want to hear from you when you're upset with me, but any other time I am the perfect princess, I am the goddess? But when I do not do as you please I am no longer the perfect specimen of royalty. I am torn asunder?

She pulled herself together, lifted her head high. The tilt of her chin showcasing every line of her throat and maw. As she fought to tamper down the absolute panic that threatened to overtake her at the harsh words she herself had said.

You need not apologize I am aware we are alone. However, we will learn nothing of these lands if we don't speak to others. It seems foolish not to feel them out?

The moment she spoke, Ulrich cringed, knowing he had made a grave mistake. He had spoken far too harshly. Again. He was not used to... all of this. Being out here in the dangerous open with Adylaide, of all wolves. Normally, in a situation like this, he would be ordering around a soldier, and they would heed his orders without question. But he could not expect that from her. He must be more gentle, must modify his voice, must explain his decisions better.

He took a deep breath until he could not inhale anymore and held it for a moment or two, then slowly released. "I am sorry," he said, his voice much quieter than it had been before. "I... was too harsh with you. I am letting my fear cloud my emotions. You are still a princess to me; you always will be. But, out here, with strangers, no one but I will see you that way. It is the dead of winter. Most packs will see our presence as a nuisance, assume we want their food, which is scarce enough as it is." He kept his voice quiet, calm, reasonable, and did not look at her, his eyes on his paws. "I fear alerting anyone to our presence will only invite danger. If our pack has sent someone after us, it is almost certainly to kill you, and if we were to go and greet that pack to the northeast, and then the runner from our pack asked after us, we would be found."

He took another deep breath. "I am trying to keep you safe. In doing so, I seem to be making an ass of myself, but... I will try harder to be... gentle." He raised his head, finally looking at her. "There now. You have my reasons. However, if you still wish to speak to the pack to the northeast, then we will go and speak to them. But, my lady, I... have a bad feeling about it."

Ady took a deep breath and another. Forcing herself to calm down. It was not fair of her to fuss so. Her queen mother had taught her better than this. But this wolf, this guard of hers he always managed to cut her the easiest. It was frustrating. Even when he didn't mean too. She knew he was used to his orders being obeyed. That he was frightened.

She watched as he utilized many of the same tricks she had been taught to rein one's self in. He apologized and her ears perked forward. Not expecting it to be that simple. He had given in so, so easily. Perhaps this entire thing was truly affecting him worse than she had realized.

At his words that she would always be a princess. An ugly feeling clawed up into her innards. She didn't want to be a princess anymore not really. Granted she had used it to her benefit just now, but unjustly so.

She sighed and looked the way the pack was. Do you really think they will come after me? It seemed to me they got what they wanted whomever it was, at the deaths of my parents. If I leave and don't return why should they chase me?

I've never known you to be frightened before, Ully.

"Do you really think they will come after me?"

He stared out at nothing, trying to think. Despite the fact that he had only just woken up, he suddenly felt exhausted. "I don't know, my lady," he said, his voice so quiet that it was nearly a whisper. "Nothing is certain right now. Perhaps nothing will ever be certain again. That is what scares me." His life, just days before, had been so monotonous. Every day he had had the same routine, and he had thrived in it. Now, he had no idea if he would be alive tomorrow morning.

"I've never known you to be frightened before, Ully."

He kept his eyes away from her face for a time, mulling over her words. Finally he turned to her and said, "I have never feared so much for your life, Adylaide. Everything could be a danger to you, or nothing could. You could die of exposure or starvation. A bear could kill you. Or another wolf. Or... you could live to old age. All is... unknown to me. Just like this pack to the northeast. They could help us or kill us. I do not know. I have never been so at a loss before." He stared into her eyes, his face begging her to choose for him, to tell him what to do. For if he had his orders, he would be able to move on from this place.

Ady had not meant to add more burdens to his broad shoulders. She shifted tiny paws, her thin body momentarily cold as she listened. The voice that curled around of hushed whispers and absolute fear, was not one she was used too. She was not used to her Ully being this way.

Is anything ever really certain?

That was her question. She could have died at the palace at the paws of the usurpers. She could have gotten ill and died. She could have simply died in her sleep. There was no certainty to the world. Oh they liked to think there was, but there wasn't. Everything was a chance or a choice.

A shiver worked it's way from her ears to her toes at her name curling off his tongue with quiet sadness. All of those things he listed sound so bleak. And she wasn't having it. She shook her fur and frowned in thought. Brown eyes meeting his. 

We will do what you say for now. If there is truly a danger with packs we do not know. We will avoid them if we can. Though I suppose we should find some place to stay in for winter. This weather is probably going to get worse.

"Is anything ever really certain?" Adylaide asked him.

"No... I suppose not," he murmured, his head bowed. But admitting this did not make him feel better. It made him feel like a failure, like he could not protect her no matter what he did. Still, he would not give up, or what kind of a guardian would he be? He had gotten them this far, hadn't he?

He breathed a sigh of relief as she agreed to avoid packs for now. That made his job much easier, though he hoped he had not forced her to give up going to the pack in the northeast. He had been too harsh, he knew. Perhaps he had frightened her unduly. Or perhaps she needed to be frightened, to have the realities of the world thrust upon her. He did not know. All he knew was that he did not like the way he had spoken to her.

When she mentioned finding a place to settle for the winter, he gave her a small, sad smile. "Why don't you pick the direction, my lady?" There. Give her something to do, give her a choice. Give her agency. That was better, wasn't it?

Ady couldn't stand to see him so dejected. He looked so disenheartened and she wasn't quite sure how to fix it. She wanted to press against him, touch his shoulder, something, but she also knew. he wouldn't like that much, and her emotions were still raw from his slight irritation at her. Which she couldn't blame him, but she wasn't used to being reprimanded so soundly and by Ully of all wolves.

She looked all around her and motioned towards the west. Let's go that way. It looks like there's more cover for us to travel through before we find open plains. We can perhaps get the lay of the land.

She wasn't certain where this was coming from, but it as excited. A twitch of her tail and she was ready to go. She leapt into action, pushing boldly forward. She knew he'd overtake her and press to the front soon enough. But for now, she was leading.