i'd rather go out in a blaze of glory

Luckily I found this! Tag didn't work. And wow... He talks. For once. :P

Burke walked with Nemesis. It seemed she had come a bit to her senses. But the alpha was worried, if Nemesis had another psychosis like that she would not be able to help him lead. He needed a strong team and even though he disliked to think Nemesis was weak, with this mental thing going on it could work as a disadvantage. He always continued and after having that talk with Malice it turned out it was really bad to hold his feelings to himself. Hence why Nemesis demanded what was going on Burke was not going to lie to her.

"Nemesis," he stated calmly, though she had hurt him greatly with the words she had spoken in her psychosis. He was not even sure if she remembered what she had said to him or about him. "One thing you must know about me is that I keep going, whatever happens. I never stop working or being there for the pack. When that storm hit and Meldresi was gone, I kept on leading. When Meldresi died, I did not stop, not a second. Now my son died too, whether it was anyone's fault or a case of bad luck, we don't know. Still I wanted to continue again, be a strong and reliable leader for the Brotherhood. I am not saying that this is good, maybe it will even be my down fall one day. Yet when Pietro died I had to get out. I needed someone and sadly, even though I am there for everyone in the pack as a counselor or therapist I don't have anyone. Not since Meldresi died. I can't do counseling or be a therapist with myself," he explained some of things that happened previously. That this has been going on longer than just now.

He looked at her for a moment as they walked. "Don't say I have you, because well, you are mated to Kove and it would give off the wrong impression. Or at least. I don't want to cross that boundary with you and Kove. Kendra was not able to communicate it seemed. Potema has been gone for so long and Cicero and Damien must be off somewhere. Others I do not feel the need to share things with. But now I will play. I will humor you and tell you all.

My heart is slowly dying with the loss of Meldresi, every day it hurt. No one asks and maybe none even dares to ask. Who knows. With my unresolved feelings about my mate, having Pietro die it only made that hurt, perhaps even agony, stronger. I needed someone close. No I wanted someone close. I wanted someone next to me. To have just one night where I don't feel miserable and alone. My mind is haunted, my heart is broken and my soul is slowly turning back to a certain darkness I had before. I might not seem as a lovable guy, but I realized I do have a lot of love to give. And when I give that love it is through selfless acts that no one sees or realize I'm doing. When I left the pack yesterday I did not really know where I was going but I ended up with Malice and she let me be me. You might not like her, but she was there for me and that was what I needed in that moment."

He bared his teeth a bit, not liking to talk about his feelings and it was clearly seen on his face. "So don't you dare judge me. I never choose for myself and today I did, and then this whole ordeal happened as a consequence. You know what that tells me? It shows that the Brotherhood needs me even more, even while my grief is eating me from the inside you all need me. What would have happened if I was not there, Nemesis? Would you have been killed? Or killed another wolf? Maybe even been injured even more if one had not taken charge and tried at least to get you out of your psychosis," Burke's worry was sincere and there was no arrogance found in his voice. He was genuinely showing his worry, hurt, grief and conflicted feelings. In his eyes he could never choose for himself because when he did things seemed to go even more south. "Can I still trust you to lead? What will we need to do for you to get this under control? Do you need to talk to me? Do you need herbs? We need to help you, because I need you as my beta," he spoke. Burke realized all too well that he could not be the sole leader for a pack. It was too exhausting. Once again Burke pushed himself aside and decided to focus on Nemesis problem instead of his own. Most wolves never did see his selfless actions, and along with his distant nature and stoic face Burke was often marked as inapproachable.