i'd rather go out in a blaze of glory

She listened. She did not speak, unintterupting to his testimony. But the thoughts of earlier still reeled in her head. Everyone had their own troubles, but they did not run off to another pack, another person, to deal with it. Regardless of the circumstance, she felt.. disappoainted. The mere fact that he had left to seek something else inside his soul admited a lot. He was not happy. It was evident by her failures. "Does noboby else let you be you? Is that what you think? You won't let yourself. You guard yourself, and i'm sorry you feel that way," She did not want to hear an excuse, she wanted an answer. Nobody had ever said Burje had to be the way he was, he just did it to himself. She had never questioned why, but now, she was tired. 

"We're supposed to be in this together, so don't start about bad impressions. It's not about that. You do have me, but it's not good enough for you," She spoke it like she seen it, she was just his Beta afterall. Maybe it was a mistake, he only appointed her such a postion because he needed help not beacuse he felt he could actually connect with her. It hurt her, that he did not feel he could talk to her but could to a stranger. She hated his perspective, that she could not approached because she was mated. It was exactly what she didn't want. It was exactly what she feared, that she would be seen as an untouchable speciement because she belonged to someone else. In any case, had not cared about boundaires when he said they could not have children. She would never think Burke arrogant, but sometimes he was blind. He didn't even know what he had. Wolves he could trust. But because he didn't have Meldresi anymore, that sense of trust was gone. She could not blame him. He was broken and he would not let them help. Only someone who didn't even know him. "You don't need to explain yourself to me, it's already quite clear. You need someone to replace what Meldresi gave you, and having us just is not doing it. You know I will always support you. But I can't forget this. You don't even want to be telling me this so I won't pressure you again," There was no point in approaching someone who did not even want help. She wouldn't waste either of their time. He could run to Malice as much as he wanted and spill his heart out. She would not judge, she would not speak a word about it but sit silent. Burke always knew best, right? 

With a tight knot in her throat, she held back a tear. It was not sorrow, but a feeling on betrayal and disapoaintment. Nothing was what she had thought. "I am fine, or I will be. I have a mate for these things, as you've made clear," She held no tone of spitefulness, but of truth. She had tried, at least she could say. "But just do me one favour, and do not blame me for your misfortune, your "consequence". I don't need that from you," She already felt like the boy's death was her fault, for letting down Kendra, and for everything else in between. "You are a great Alpha, and I could never harbour ill feelings towards you nor betray you, but I don't know what to believe anymore," A these things, revelations of feelings and relationships.. she couldn't process it all without feeling like the world was coming down on her.