Blacktail Deer Plateau Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

His sister's passing mention of her heat cycle didn't embarrass Peregrine, as he'd grown up with a very open mother, but her joke made him want to wring the necks of all her hypothetical suitors. No man would be good enough for Osprey, at least in his eyes, and suddenly he wondered if any of the male members were going after her. He would have to ask, after they finished hashing out his relationship troubles.

"Of course, though only really superficially, to be honest. It's difficult, with the kids, like I said. We see each other every day and, especially right after the pups were born and Pied passed away, I made myself especially available to her. Yet she grew distant from me, even pushed me away a few times," he mused aloud. "I accepted it as natural. I understood she must be exhausted, that she only had time to look after the pups... but I guess I shouldn't have let it go, not for so long.

And it's not that I'm blaming her, either. We both fucked up here. Sure, we're first-time parents and our litter doubled in size when Pied died, but we still should've made a point to make time for each other. But we didn't. And by the time I realized how far we'd grown apart, just the other day... well, it felt like it was already too late. I don't know if it actually is but... well, here's the thing. The other day, we finally got some time to ourselves and it was like we barely knew one another. It was awkward and uncomfortable. It was bad, Oss.

Parenthood's changed us both," he concluded, "I was so in love with her. I'm sure you remember. And I love her still. But I wonder if I'm still in love with her. When I see her now, I just don't feel the same spark. And I don't know if that's how it's supposed to be but I don't think it is. I don't think our mate-ship should become a drudgery just because we have kids. Right?"