Broken Boulder aaaaaaaaaaa

when alarian finishes speaking delight is quiet for a moment. he's at once grateful and guilty, pulled in opposite directions. finally he says, "it's fine," and shrugs, deflecting, but pauses. he's never really -- talked to alarian. about queenie. about tindómë. hell, he never even told him that he was the father of his children, leaving it implied until it couldn't be denied any longer, because something about the idea of alarian looking at him and thinking about him and queenie made him feel... wrong, somehow. 

"i love queenie," delight says, sucking in a breath, "she was, is.. was? my best friend. one of our first conversations was about how neither of us wanted kids, ironically." he smiles wryly, letting the self-deprecation shine clear in his tone, his expression. i don't really deserve your compassion. "then she went into heat and -- honestly, i have no idea what she was thinking or what i was thinking. or, well, no. i was thinking maybe this will be enough to bring mato back to me. and then tindómë was falling apart all around me and i was never supposed to be it's sole leader in the first place--"

he lets out the breath he'd been holding, color rushing to his face. this is not what he'd meant to say. (hopefully) before alarian can react, he adds, "my -- my point is. it's not like -- we've always been very different, queenie and i. and i love her but we're ... we want different things, i think. and i put her in this situation so it's my responsibility too, so don't -- apologise to me, y'know?"