Blacktail Deer Plateau I'm not made of stone

Editing this cos I literally forgot about Issun.

Grezig sobered some at Liri’s touch, picking her body up off of the ground. She sat down, trying to straighten her spine, but she was tired and her shoulders slouched. Her eyes were blank as she listened to the words that Liri did not have to explain to her. She understood. She knew. That was why she’d called it off. She knew it would have been wrong. When Liri’s eyes opened again and looked at Grezig, the Beta could read… something in them, some sorrow or regret. She held the Alpha’s dark gaze for a moment and then said, “When Kavik and I had the conversation some time back, I did not yet have feelings for him. I had never associated sex with love up to that point. I had every intention of going to Corvus first, to ask if he would have been willing, but then he disappeared from the packlands and I… did not know who else to ask. Siqsa and Issun are here now, but I hardly know them. There is no one else I would have trusted enough.”

She paused, breathed. “Originally, I thought you might say no, but had no qualms asking if you would allow it because I had absolutely no intention of hurting either of you. To me, sex is only about procreation. I only wanted my own children. I did not want Kavik. Now I… at some point I…” The words would not come. “I am not sure what happened,” she finished lamely. All of this had been spoken in a kind of monotone, as if she were a machine reading back a typed message. She had forced herself to explain everything to Liri in the hopes that the Alpha would understand that she had never meant any harm. Her inexperience with love is what had caused the problem, and she was willing to acknowledge that.

Unable to bear the awkwardness of this situation any longer, she forced her spine to straighten, cleared her throat, and said, “If you permit me to stay in the pack, I have a request. Some time ago I talked to Illidan about helping him find his family. I feel that now might be a good time to start doing that. It would require me to leave the pack for weeks, possibly months. I have no idea where to start looking, except to go to each of the packs I am aware of and ask them if they know anything about a boy with a dark face or his brother, Ephraim.” She paused. “What do you think?” Leaving would be a way to prevent any further feelings—between any of them—and would give them all time to cool off and restart.

Of course, there was the chance that Liri would exile her from the Plateau, but after such a quiet and calm response to Grezig’s pain, the Beta doubted that that would happen now.