Hushed Willows i DIG rock and roll music

in keeping with the March theme of penance

The first--and truly, only--item on the agenda today was digging. Well, besides eating, but that was a given.

No, Lily had shuffled herself over to a place she'd seen and liked, where there was already a shallow depression in the earth, as if someone had made their den here before. Her objective was to dig it wider, and she'd been doing so for a couple of days. . .but it was grueling work. The ground wasn't quite frozen, but it was hard and cold enough.

She spent a good time digging and digging, clods of dirt flying past her face, face furrowed in single-minded concentration. When she found herself exhausted, she sat back on her haunches, panting, surveying what she had done. God help her if she didn't get this thing done before the babies came.

Being beneath the earth always reminded her of Vilkas. There were several formative encounters where they had met underground, starting with the first time they'd met. It was as mysterious an introduction as was his departure. He'd just disappeared into thin air, it seemed. No word, no trail. Gone.

And she still had to live with the guilt of laying with Barracuda when she'd all but promised herself to him. She would never get to apologize. It was stupid, right? He hadn't known of her infidelity. But she had, and it ate her up inside. In her darkest moments, she blamed that mistake for his choice to leave.

Strange, thinking of old lovers as you sit on the verge of motherhood, carrying children that belong to neither of them.