Ankyra Sound a gunslinger knows pride - that invisible bone that keeps the neck stiff

the confirmation that he would be allowed to see his children was relieving to illidan, though he couldn't have explained why. the ghost nodded his head thoughtfully before offering her a shriveled smile. “that's good. not that it's any of my business, but... they should at least know who he is – they should at least have that option,” the dark-hooded young man answered her. that would the last thing he would offer her in regard to her kids. she would know how to raise them better than he ever could. illidan had only just emerged from his own youth and into adulthood. he couldn't imagine trying to offer advice to a woman expecting an entire litter of kids.

when she apologized and offered to move the talk along, he glanced to her quickly. she was trying not to alienate him. grezig was trying to make sure that she understood why he wouldn't want to talk about fathers. his sights fell from her features and to the dirt. it was here that he furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw. “it's alright, you know. i'm not gonna talk about it, but your kids are different... you can talk to me about them and their lives without feeling like you're going to trigger something awful in me,” he assured her. for once, he seemed as though he was level-headed enough to have made such a remark.

as for love, well... the ghost did not know how to express the doubts he had. he certainly did not want to overindulge to grezig and find out that she found him a coward and weak for the way that he thought about himself. in truth, illidan did not think that he was worth much; he never had. why would there be another creature out there who could find love for him? how could there be such a thing?

“i may not ever know those things,” he admitted to her honestly, shrugging his shoulders as though it didn't really matter if he ever found out. it wasn't intended to be a saddening statement. it was as genuine as he'd ever been. many nights he had kept himself awake with the fear that he would not like who he was meant to be. if he had taken all of the things that had happened to him and shaped himself around those things, he would have been a terrible monster. part of him believed that he already was. the idea that anyone with goodness in their heart could want to kill their own brother was foolish. “i wouldn't want to bring someone into my life when there are things i'm unable to face with you, or my sister... or myself. how selfish it would be to subject someone else to deafening silence when that storm exists inside of me.”