Neverwinter Forest i hate my last name. i hate everything it stands for

He needed to find them. The herbs. This pain, this agony, he wanted it to dissipate. Just for a few moments, a few days, months, forever. The world around him did not exist anymore. It was just snow and dirt, snow and dirt, plants, relief, happiness.

Stop. The command yanked him back to earth and forced him to face everything he was running from. The sickness, the thoughts, the pain, a baby, and..

Mal! he screamed. Cupid felt anger rise up his throat. Disgust too, with someone. The blame shifted from Mal to himself, back to Mal and so on. This lack of decision made him all the more frustrated. He averted his gaze, breathed heavily. This was his fault. He got too carried away and now he had to deal with all this bullshit. There was nowhere to run now.

We shouldn't have.. I shouldn't have- He wanted to bite off his tongue, but it had a mind of its own now. Why the fuck didn't I go back sooner? Why did I even leave in the first place?! For fucks sake, now I'm- I'm- He couldn't speak without choking on sobs.