Stone Circle Astragalus

Sven arrived first, but he was almost completely despondent, only greeting Kristjan with a formal dip of the head – like strangers passing on the street. It reminded him of the mood they’d all been in after Gunnar’s death, and then again with Taktuq’s disappearance. He felt cotton-mouthed, unsure of himself, and too self-conscious to reach out to his littermate. What if he rejected his affection? It would be the first time, but it would be devastating, so he chose not to risk its occurrence.

Instead, he gave Sven and his slow-burning mood his space. They stood in silence, waiting for their last remaining sibling, who arrived within the next few heartbeats and greeted them both with the warmth and familiarity Kristjan expected – nei, needed. He relaxed at Ujurak’s touch, though tensed again when he remembered that what lay ahead of them was much more difficult than mourning what they had lost.

Same, bróðir. I— His voice wavered, having pitched embarrassingly close to a childish whine, and he shook his head, erasing whatever thought he had and starting anew. Thank you, both. He turned his good eye to Sven, then back to Ujurak. For coming… For still being here. Kristjan cleared his throat. [Interpretation: He loosened his necktie after shoving the overstuffed Astrid File into a red-taped file cabinet labeled “Project Avoidance” and slamming it shut.] We are the leaders now. We must decide Kvarsheim’s future.

The boy reclined, sighing, the weight of it all literally pulling him down. So. What should we do? Do we change things, or would it be better to keep them the same? He looked from teal eyes to gray. Should we go with my idea from the meeting? He sounded worried to even speak it. To even think his idea – a child’s idea! – might be used to structure their pack made him feel ill.

Gone were the delusions of grandeur in the wake of a missing sister; away went his conviction that no one else could do better.

What was left was a harrowed expression, heartsick eyes and a trembled lip forced to set firm. Do either of you have another idea? Please, please, tell me what to do here! But even to his littermates, he felt too ashamed to put his true desperation into words.