and if there's life after that, i'll love you then

She shook her head, unwilling to accept his statement that he would have changed in order to keep her. "We cannot change who we are," was her defence, and found herself doubting his claim. "We could have pretended, but the reality of this is that we just aren't right for each other." Things might have been pleasant for a little while, perhaps, if shed been brave enough to lay her concerns or before him... But ultimately, when the dust settled and things were more comfortable, she felt that Shadow would revert back to his old ways. Perhaps it was unfair to assume, but Paarthurnax was steadfast in her judgement of the situation.

Noctisardor Bypass had been a fine place to live, a plentiful land of great beauty and the ideal place to rear her offspring. But it was the laws of the pack she'd struggled to come to terms with, and it seemed Shadow had come to realise this with his promise to relieve Enya of her status as his prisoner. "She should not ever have been held against her will," Paar said, more strength in her voice this time, and blinked back her hurt when Shadow went on to mention the name of a dear friend she'd left behind.

The slate female had been kind and excepting of her always, and Paarthurnax had come to love her as a pack-sister. The crimson Frostfur did not respond to her former mate with words, but dipped her crown in a nod off agreement. But given her condition, she would not be the one to travel; Crëyr would have to come to her.

Suddenly, pieces of Shadow's puzzle clocked into place and, noticing the subtle swell if Paar's abdomen, anger flashed in his steely gaze. He took a step toward her, but she took two steps back, placing further distance between them. If he was going to let his temper control him, Paarthurnax did not wish to be his punch bag. "Your pups?" she said, a defensive edge to her tone, "they are ours."

He slackened, however, and soon rage was replaced by sadness and regret. Shadow sought to make her guilty for her decision to leave him then, for refusing to remain at Noctisardor to rear the children with him despite her growing unhappiness. "You would have them watch their mother crumble?" Paarthurnax let him closer then, for she was confident that he would not seek to cause her physical harm. Surely he would not be so foolish to inflict injury on the mother of his kids; "I love you still, Shadow, and part of me always will. But I am not Roman. I can't remain in the background like you wished me to, with restricted duty as an Alphess. All I wanted was to be your equal, but you did not trust my judgement and my word would always be second to yours."

She did not know how she reigned in her emotions and kept herself from sobbing. Paarthurnax sought her ex-partner's gaze then, marred by vivid crimson that settled from his fresh wounds, "you kept wolves hidden away under guard, captives, used them as slaves. My brother sought to do the same of me by plotting to send me off to his enemy in attempt to make amends, as I already told you. I will not have my sons grow up to believe that this is acceptable."