There was no more fire to spark inside him and he could not bring himself to feel angry when she told him that they couldn't change who they were. That they just weren't right for each other. He didn't move as she continued to speak, and smiled without humor. He wanted to say that she had trespassed but he knew that she would prove to be an asset to the pack, besides he hadn't beaten her or anything but he just nodded simply. Father had always held wolves against their wills and being brought up in that environment, he found no problem with that, he himself had been held against his will too and did anyone care? No, he had to take care of himself and his siblings, no one here would understand, he thought bitterly.
Hurt flashed through his eyes as she took two step backwards, as if she was afraid of him. Then she proceeded to say that it wasn't his pups but theirs, Shadow did not answer but dipped his head to acknowledge her words. "You would have them watch their mother crumble?". He listened quietly as she spoke, and did not know how he felt. Pain, both physically and emotionally. Hurt. Grief. He wondered with cold amusement how one could feel so much negative emotions at the same time without crying. "I don't want you to be a goddamn Roman. I don't want you to remain in the background, its just...." he shook his head helplessly. "Oh gods, is this what you want to hear? Well, I'm sorry for everything I've done. I've made bad decisions in my life, I shouldn't have promoted you so soon when the pack has not yet learnt to fully trust you. I trust your judgement but I don't at the same time because I am harsh and I make harsh decisions. I admit that. And I didn't think you would be able to make them. I was wrong about everything." he said softly, shaking his head.
Do you want me to fall onto my belly and kiss your paws just to earn a tiny bit of forgiveness?" he thought as she spoke once more. "I admit it was wrong, I was wrong. I was cruel and harsh. I know that." and I don't need you to tell me that. "I'm going to free them and I won't do it again, even if you think we can't change. I'll do my best. Then he lifted his head and smiled crookedly, though it did not reach his eyes, the chilling platinum remained dark and filled with pain. "I believe you said it was our sons." he added, a bit of his old sarcastic humor returning.
The Roman shook his head, "Forgive me, it is not the time for that. I wouldn't want our children to believe that its acceptable like I did when I grew up. But neither do I want them to grow up without either of their parents. Perhaps Scimitar would tell the wolves not to kill the kids, but he did not trust the Creek wolves, especially that white bastard. He was prejudiced and he was stupid. "I know that you will not come back and I didn't come to tell you to come back, I came to talk and look at you for the last time. But perhaps it will not be our last." Shadow's silver eyes were full of desperation now, he knew there was not much of a chance between them now but he wasn't going to let this be the last time.
"I know I have a bad reputation with the Creek but I also know Scimitar is not like the white Creek wolf. He is honorable, if not in the way of the Romans. I wish to talk with him and discuss a truce and visiting rights, if you'll allow it." The ashen outrider paused and tentatively approached her, mentally begging her not to move back again, his heart was torn into enough pieces already. "I don't want our relationship to end in hate, and neither do I want our children to know what happened between us or see us in bad terms. I know we cannot be a couple and so I ask to be friends, I'm sorry for everything I've done and I hope you'll let me see the kids, that you'll talk to Scimitar about it."
The gods and the fate had taught him a lesson, a cruel and harsh one but it had taught him good. Shadow lowered his head to her, "It would be nice to be able to see the kids grow up to become strong honorable wolves, unlike their dad. To see them when they've just been born and to see them grow older."
