Heron Lake Plateau last night i had a dream that i was brushing a horse.

Finley frowned as she trudged across the territory in a lazy, meandering path across the line of trees that bordered the lake. They had been living at the Plateau for months now and she had yet to settle into any sort of daily routine. Sure, there was the waking up and taking a piss part, but then there was just a whole lot of empty space until she finally got to the part where she went to sleep again.

On one hand, it was kind of nice to not have every minute of every day planned out. On the other, she was hella freaking bored most of the time. It didn't help that many of her usual pastimes were no longer allowed considering the heaps of children she needed to keep herself alive for. And even the more mundane ones like hunting and exploring felt too far out of her reach what with her hip protesting her activities more and more as time went on.

Heaving a sigh, Fin decided stopped to drop down onto the wide, flat surface of a rock that protruded from the ground near the shoreline. She flopped onto her stomach and shut her eyes, considering that she may as well just sleep some more since she couldn't really do the pack much else good.

Pretty sure she's in, so... :B

It wasn't the caldera and it wasn't the cliffs. Although Wildfire ached for each of these places—hell, there was part of her that sometimes still yearned for Sleeping Dragon—the notion of exploring the plateau appealed to the scout within her. It was also a way to keep busy, right along with catching up with everyone. She hadn't felt on the verge of a nuclear meltdown since leaving Drageda but that didn't mean Wildfire didn't still suffer plenty over everything lost to her.

Today's meandering drew her toward the lake, which appeared frozen. There were some large rocks positioned along the shoreline like chaise lounges. From a distance, it appeared that one of these rocks was moving. Puzzled, Wildfire ranged closer and saw, with a little leap of her heart, that it was Finley. Her step hastened, petite red paws carrying her toward the rocky ledge thrust into the frozen water like the prow of a sunken ship.

"Aunt Flea," she whispered, ducking her head to rub her cheek against her godmother's.

Finley had heard her favorite goddaughter (sorry Tow) had returned home (because wherever she was would always be the true home for all of her children, no matter where their lives took them), but she was growing more and more forgetful lately. So when Wildfire appeared at her side, the Blackthorn was briefly startled to see her. The memory clicked in place shortly though, so she merely squirmed to make room for the girl to join her and returned her affectionate greeting.

"Hey little girl," she crooned, her tail waving gently, "Welcome back." Fin took a moment to smile and let her greeting stand, but her mood began to shift as the seconds went by. Happy as she was to see her and to get her back, it wasn't lost on her that there was probably some reason she had left most of her family to be there with them. "How are you?" she asked, leaving the floor open for Wildfire to interpret and answer however she would.

The pet name and Finley's welcome soothed Wildfire's sort heart. After rubbing, catlike, against her godmother another moment, Wildfire eased down beside her. The stone felt icy to her belly, so she pressed close to share warmth, their shoulders and hips touching lightly. Her tail tapped silently against the cold stone as her body adjusted. Settling in beside Finley like this felt a lot like coming home, minus all the painful parts.

She sensed all the questions tucked neatly into the three words and managed a fairly genuine—if a bit careworn—smile for her aunt. "I won't lie: I'm not great. But it's really good to be here with you, Uncle El, Rave... everyone, really." There were some faces she missed from her last stay, though that was the warp and woof of a wolf's life (at least on wolf-rpg.com).

If Finley wanted all the gory details, Wildfire would offer them. But she didn't feel any burning need to unburden herself; she'd already unloaded everything on Raven. Instead, she queried, "How about you? How's retirement treating you?"

Fin could tell that whatever had happened to Wildfire to make her leave, it didn't seem to be something she felt the need to talk about. That was alright with her. The nosy part of her was dying to hear the details, but the part that wanted only what was best for her Wiffle was happy to let it go if that's what she wanted. "Well, call me selfish, but I'm happy as hell to have you back," she replied with a grin. She hadn't known Wildfire's mate, Betty, very well, but she had come across like a very intense woman. Wildfire had come from Peregrine and Fox, Finley and Elwood. She needed more light-heartedness in her life, but that was just a mother's likely skewed opinion.

"Retirement is amazing in that I never before realize just how vastly, astoundingly, massively bored I can be," she answered with a laugh, "It seriously makes you feel utterly useless. I'm not sure why people are so eager to reach this level. It sucks. Don't get old." Her words were honest in their expression of her feelings towards retirement (though maybe a bit of hyperbole was in play), but she still smiled and wagged her tail through the diatribe. She had accepted that there wasn't anything she could do about it at this point, so she accepted it and went at it with good humor.

It was wonderful, feeling so warmly welcomed and wanted. Wildfire had loved Thuringwethil—she still did—but she'd always come second to Heda's duty. She distantly remembered her former mate's warning about it. Maybe she'd been right all along: the commander shouldn't have had a family. But Wildfire couldn't bring herself to regret any of, not even the most hurtful bits. Their children had come of it and Wildfire loved them all fiercely, even those ones—Artaax, Blixen, Silkie and Tux—who probably hated her now, maybe even considered her dead to them. She was almost certain none of them would ever come looking for her again, their love—like their nomi's—conditional on her fealty to Drageda.

She wished she could respond by telling Finley she was here to stay for good, though something held her tongue. And when her godmother complained about the vast boredom of retirement, Wildfire's eyes glittered. She coughed a dry laugh at the sage advice, butting her smudged muzzle affectionately against Finley's ear lobe even as she insisted, "You're not old..."

Wildfire didn't say anything else for a moment, though there was a speculative look in her chestnut eyes as she wondered, "What about traveling? Do you do that anymore?"

Fin smirked at her goddaughter's reassurance, knowing it to be a total lie. It was a well meaning one, though, so she happily let it slide. She knew that she likely had a few good years ahead of her still being only on the front end of her elder years, but she felt far older than she actually was. Perhaps that was a side effect of having lived such an exciting life. Or of having nearly died like thirty or forty times in her lifetime.

At Wildfire's question, Finley felt her chest tighten with guilt. She kept the emotion from her face though as she responded. "No, not anymore," she said, taking care in her explanation of her reasoning, "I hurt myself a while back and my hip never quite healed right. It aches now when I'm active for too long, or when I sleep on it wrong, or when someone looks at it weird, or when it just feels like being an asshole." She hoped silently that she wouldn't be questioned further about the injury, knowing perfectly well how Wildfire would react to knowing it was sustained during the fight with Blackfeather.

The glimmer in Wildfire's eye flickered at her godmother's response. She was momentarily swept up in her own silent disappointment and didn't think to question the source of Finley's injury. "I hurt myself," she'd said and the ever klutzy four-year-old could empathize, once she swallowed her secret chagrin.

"I'm sorry," she offered a little lamely, cool nose gently touching her godmother's brow now. "Have you ever thought about domesticating a bear or something, riding it around?" she quipped in the next breath.

Fin shook her head to dismiss the apology. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was just something that happened as you got older. It was unfortunate, but she had experienced many unfortunate things in her life and they had never stopped her from getting where she wanted to be. This wouldn't. It might just slow her down a bit.

She laughed at Wildfire's suggestion regarding the bear, shaking her head again. "Y'know, that's not a bad idea, but I think I'd rather domestic a stag. They have this sort of majesty about them. And honestly, they can be way scarier than bears when you corner them at just the right time," she said thoughtfully, "Plus, they're way faster than bears."

Without missing a beat, Finley countered that she should capture a stag, if anything. Wildfire chortled as she pictured her godmother straddling one of the mighty ungulates. Then the mental image shifted and she laughed out loud as the Finley in her head reared up, forelegs planted on the buck's rack, hind legs supported by the slope of his muscled back.

"How majestic," she murmured, still laughing under her breath. If it was possible, her eyes grew even fonder as she regarded Finley. "I'd really love for you to meet Kiwi. And I'm sure you know Bat already. I definitely want to make sure they have some of their Great Aunt Flea's influence in their lives..."

Fin smirked, her own mind reviewing the same mental images as Wildfire. She had once tried to actually ride a deer once. It had gone very poorly, to say the least. The deer had seemed to think she was trying to get on its back in order to kill it. The silly thing hadn't realize she was just trying to use it for transportation. Deer were so paranoid.

The Blackthorn matriarch was distracted from the memory as Wildfire altered the subject. She smiled at the comment. "I'd love to meet them," she answered, then paused to modify, "Well, to meet Kiwi. I'd love to get to know Bat better. She seems very... spirited." That was a good word for it, she surmised with a smile, then paused again. "Don't you have three of them here, though?" she asked, frowning slightly. Or had she imagined that?

Hearing someone describe Bat as "spirited" elicited an involuntary chuckle from Wildfire. "When she lived in Drageda, before she ran away, she was quite the opposite," she explained, drawing in a steadying breath because the recollection wasn't painless. "I'm glad she found herself here." Even if that had been one of the darkest moments of her life, the days after it some of the most difficult. Her joy at finding Bat alive and well overshadowed that now.

"Sequoia, my niece, came with us too. She and Kiwi are close. Her mother, Portia, and I had a close relationship too." They hadn't seen much of one another lately, thought that was probably mostly Wildfire's fault. She'd withdrawn in the weeks, maybe even months, prior to her departure. "I've come to think of her as one of my own as well. She's a great kid. They all are." Including the ones I left behind, she thought, heart straying to them for a moment.

She still didn't want to bring down the room with all of that, so Wildfire drew another bracing breath and said, "So, Raven told me that Bat told you guys she had my permission to come here. That's not true, although I feel it's moot now. But Rave also mentioned that Tegan's been mentoring her?" He might have been party to her flight as well, though Wildfire found she couldn't hold it against him any more than she could Bat. She was actually glad he'd been there to take her wayward daughter under his wing.

Fin found it hard to believe that Bat had ever been anything other than spirited. Boring individuals did not leave their homes and travel halfway across the countryside to take up residence with near strangers. But, who was she to refute the claim? She opted instead to say nothing as her niece continued, silently noting the had a close relationship instead of have, and keeping her curiosity as to whether there'd been a falling out or a death to herself. She also didn't pry when her goddaughter's tone grew more somber, but there had really been no need. Fin was a mother too - she knew what that thoughtful moment was. She'd had plenty of those herself over all the kids she'd born that had stepped back out of her life.

When conversation came back round to Bat though, Fin found her tongue again. She smiled a little over Tegan's relationship with Bat. "Yeah, he seems fond of her," she replied. She hadn't spoken to her son about it, but a mother knew. "Plus I think he likes showing off and mentoring is the perfect excuse to get away with that without seeming too full of yourself," she added with a smile.

Wildfire returned Finley's smile, marveling a little as she got to share in this particular topic with her godmother: motherhood. "I won't be mad if they end up running off into the sunset together," she mused, wondering what her aunt thought of such. "Of course, actual running off isn't necessary," she added, huffing a laugh. "Although I can see Bat uprooting again someday." She tried to hold back the sight that built up in her breast. "We didn't expect to find her here, though I'm glad we did. She was just as taken by surprise when we showed up and I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way..."

But that was complicated, plus she still didn't want to burden Finley with a list of grievances, even though she knew she'd listen and offer advice. Perhaps another time, she would seek counsel from the counselor. It was just that right now, she wanted to enjoy the simple pleasure of the woman's company, focus on the sweet joy and positivity of their reunion, not dwell on the darker side of things.

Since she sought a change of subject anyhow, Wildfire found herself circling back to an earlier, unspoken thought. "You said your hip prevents you from traveling. But if I found a willing steed, what would you think of maybe visiting the caldera again someday? Maybe in the spring? Before you inevitably pop out another batch of Blackthorns," she mused with a twinkle in her eye. Finley had said she was getting old and a bad hip didn't bode well for bearing young... but Wildfire didn't doubt for a second that she could look forward to some fresh black stripes next year.

Fin had always hoped that one day, one of her Blackthorns would get together with one of Peregrine's and Fox's Redhawks, truly making their families one. She hadn't considered one of their grandkids finally making it happen, though. She supposed it would still work, though she would have much rather put Tegan and Wildfire together and do it right. Or Wildfire and Eljay. Hm... There was a thought she liked.

"Yeah, kids are hard to predict. I gave that up on mine a long time ago," Fin replied, "Now I just hope they're all safe and happy - wherever they are, whatever they doing." Her mind went to Lucy, Lagan and Liffey. Her second litter, all three now off somewhere, living their own lives. At least she knew where Liffey was and had been able to remain somewhat in her daughter's life. The rest of them, Lucca and Fiadh included.. Well, she could only hope for the best.

Wildfire diverted attention again, and Fin was happy to go right along with her. She considered the idea for only a moment before offering her response. "I would love to go back," she confessed, "I'd actually love to go back and stay. The Plateau is nice and all, but it isn't home. Not like the Caldera." 

Fin paused thoughtfully before continuing. "I think I could make the trip okay, but we'd have to take it slow," she said, "Elwood and I went to Sunspire a few months ago to visit Liffey. She and her mate settled there and made us a batch of grandbabies. I got there and back okay, but I swear it took a month of rest before my hip stopped pitching a fit every second of the day. Might be worth it to see the Caldera again, though."

Wildfire couldn't agree more. Of course she wished all her children would stay by her side, yet she knew that wasn't possible. She had faced this very predicament upon deciding to leave Drageda. She could've tried to force her sons' hand in the matter but she hadn't even tried. Not only were they old enough to make their own decisions, she knew it was more important that they be happy than they be together. Of course, they were upset by her decision to leave (understandably so) but, in time, they would heal and lead their best lives as Drakru.

When Finley mentioned she didn't just want to visit the caldera but stay there, Wildfire's brows rose. She waited for her aunt to finish before saying, "Really? Remind me why you all moved here in the first place?" Someone had told her—likely Tegan and Niamh while visiting her at Drageda—but she couldn't quite recall. It had something to do with Towhee, who'd been in charge once. Honestly, she should stop attempting to remember and just wait for her godmother to elaborate for her.

Wildfire picked up on one theme in particular out of all that Fin had said, and while she felt a little gipped out of getting to gush on and on about her adorable little grandbabies, she was content to elaborate.

"Well, after everything that went down with Blackfeather, a couple months went by and we found out they just moved right on back in," she explained, "Elwood and I had stepped down and given the Caldera to Towhee at that point and she decided to move the pack in order to avoid more conflict."

Which had probably been smart in the end, though Fin was stupidly hopeful that maybe enough time had passed that they could go back without facing that risk again. If Blackfeather's memory was short enough that they would forget they'd been defeated by their neighbors and move back in after only a few short weeks, then it had to be short enough for them to forget they were enemies in the first place, right?

Finley's response jogged Wildfire's memory a tad. Tegan's words from the prior spring slowly surfaced in her mind: "We moved 'cause of Blackfeather Woods. They returned to the forest and Towhee just didn't want to deal with another war, especially since mom had Tywyll and Cinder." She remembered feeling a little sick to her stomach but glad her family was safe.

"And if memory serves," Wildfire said, as if Finley could've heard her own son's voice in her head, "Tegan mentioned you handed the reigns to Towhee because you felt like the caldera rightfully belonged to the Redhawks." She shot her godmother a look that pretty clearly illustrated how she felt about that silly notion. "I'm guessing the hip had something to do with it too," she added to let her aunt off the hook.

"If you made the trip here," she thought aloud in the next breath, "then you could make it back. How about we table the idea for now and revisit in the spring?" Wildfire suggested again. Leaving so soon after arriving here—and uprooting the girls again—seemed like very poor timing. And so did making any whimsical journeys at the onset of winter, particularly with Finley's hip in mind. But once the weather warmed up, then Wildfire really would love to visit the caldera with her godparents... and possibly keep traveling after that, though she didn't mention that now.

She did say, "I think you should stay there and make a glorious comeback. But that's just my opinion." Eyes sparkling, Wildfire said no more and, in fact, folded her forelegs out in front of her, gave a great, contented sigh and let her chin fall onto her crossed limbs.

Finley smiled and gave a nod of agreement. The Caldera was always for the Redhawks, and the Redhawks were always for the Blackthorns to support. If she was being honest with herself, it rankled that the pack was in Quixote's hands now that Raven had stepped down. He was a Redhawk, but only by marriage. Just as Niamh was only a Redhawk by marriage, and yet she sat in a leadership role as well. Thankfully Towhee had climbed back up again, and also thankfully, they were at the Plateau and not the Caldera. The current leadership situation would've really bugged her if they were at the Caldera.

She nodded again at the idea of tabling the venture for the Spring. Truth be told, she wanted to go like right then. This season in particular held so many fond memories for her. She wanted to lie on her rock by the Creek while the snow softly fell and a cute boy came sidling up to her to woo with her his awesome bear impression. She wanted to lead the same cute boy down into the caverns and skate with him across the frozen pool in the ballroom. She wanted to not have to dig out a new fucking whelping den in the mud and muck when she was pretty sure it'd just collapse into mush while she was in the middle of her contractions.

"Ha! Glorious comeback..." Fin said with a laugh, "My comeback days are over, I think. Besides, it is and always will be Redhawk Caldera, not Blackthorn. We Blackthorns are certainly meant to be there to support it, but not run the joint. Running the show was never really a Blackthorn thing." She gave a sidelong glance at her niece, her own thoughts suddenly full of secret plots and hopes.