The Heartwood invasion of the bodysnatchers

but maybe @atuasiq heheheh

 

Leta darted ahead of her companion, who was somewhere in these woods but not right next to her now. She had woken up a little earlier than they had, and elected to explore just a little. Leta was no scout and actually, had no desire to be one. But she got out so infrequently that sightseeing seemed like the thing to do... not that there were very many sights here. 

The place had been reduced to the carcasses of trees rather than the proud forest it might have once been. Sniffing around, Leta could still detect the scent of ash that would likely cling to some of these trees forever. The air itself was fresh, though, and on the wind she caught the scent of a buck. Leta used her mothers own taught skillset to prowl and find it, and she caught sight of the young creature nosing something... 

Her interest got the better of her. A twig snapped underfoot and now she was the object of its attention. It looked to her directly, the mocha shade of her not hard to miss within a backdrop of white, stood alert for a moment—then it fled. Leta did not give chase but instead darted toward the place the animal had previously been looking to. Snow had been nudged aside and away and beneath it was a little bud that had sprung out, a seedling that had opened up and a sign that the trees would return... though it would take time. 

Leta herself did not know all that, but felt a quaint little warmth to see this vibrant splash of green amongst all the decay.

despite being in the great bear wilderness for about a week or so now, atausiq was still largely unfamiliar with the territories that neighbor his new home. as a hunter and aspiring mercenary both, it strikes him that he should familiarize himself with the neighboring territories just as much as he's begun to familiarize himself with neverwinter. it didn't take him long when he came upon the ruins of what had the looks of once being a majestic woodlands to figure out that it was unlikely to prove good hunting grounds.

there was little but blistered carcasses of once sprawling trees; blackened by smoke and streaked with ash of their own cinders. still, he is drawn to the ruins out of what he believes to be a morbid curiosity; switching to a small swell of relief as he catches the sight of a fleeing deer in a flash of buckskin brown and a flash of white tail raised in warning.

the sign of deer — even if it was just one — meant that perhaps it wasn't as desolate as he's first assumed and it was that thought that spurs him into the heartwood.

it is something all together different the further he goes as a familiar scent teases him.

as it grows stronger and he realizes that he isn't imagining it in a bought of homesickness, atausiq's steps falter and pause as he wonders if he should continue forward, if he should let her know he was here. he'd cut the cord so abruptly and fled just as quick so he couldn't be stopped, so he couldn't be convinced to change his mind.

newt misses his family with a fierce ache in his chest that will never be filled without them. atausiq considers that closing the rest of that distance, revealing himself to leta might incidentally drag her into trouble. not that he was in trouble, but the whole point of taking on a new identity and persona was to protect his family. just in case.

in the end, it is atausiq that takes the steps forward, slipping thru the singed and charred trunks to reveal himself. leta, amidst the anguish he feels at seeing her: the guilt and the unbridled affection, he is surprised to find her so far from home.

Caught. Her ears airplaned atop her head as she guiltily turned around to face who she had presumed was her traveling companion. Who she saw, though, was not at all that wolf; all at once Leta's disposition changed to one of attention, standing tall with her surprise and her rounded ears perked forward alertly. It was rare to see Leta standing as she did now, given her submissive and timid nature—but the face before her caught her so unawares that her initial instinct was to simply stand her ground and make sure what she thought she saw was real rather than a figment of her imagination. 

And Leta had a great imagination. 

Still, it could not conjure Newt so perfectly as this. Any sadness or anger or anything else that could be was gone in favor of her excitement. This had not been something she had expected at all—she had hoped to find him that day, but he had gone so quickly. But here he was, and talking to her too. Leta could not control her tail—it whipped left and right so quickly that it was a wonder she did not take off in the air a la Tails. And then without warning she sprang forward to embrace her brother in a sisterly hug she would not be quick to release him from should she succeed—and if she failed, well, she would not falter in bestowing every other measure of affection she could deliver. 

Newt!!! Oh, Newt!!!! You left so—so quickly! I wanted to tell you something, something I had not said, because... I know I had been keeping to myself, and, I didn't get to tell you, and I'm sorry, I was never avoiding you, and, I uhm, I didn't mean to make you feel badly if I did, or make you feel like leaving or something, insert massive inhale here as she continued, a mile a minute, but, uhm, well, I love you, and I'm sorry, and you're a good brother, I just, I just had a lot going on in my head, and, and I'm trying to be better and I want to be better and I missed you, her head lowered and she guiltily looked away at her admission; Leta fully believed she was a part to blame for his leaving, even if only in part, but wanted him to know all of that.

atausiq does not dodge leta as she flings herself at him in a sisterly hug. a small rush of breath leaves his lips as the pair embrace; though a small part of his mind tells him that allowing her in such proximity isn't safe, irrational as it is. he can allow himself this small comfort, he assures himself. suspiciously, though, his imperial gaze sharply scans the terrain behind leta just to make sure that anyone else was lingering in the background. as she begins to fumble over her words, atausiq's ears begin to taper back, further and further until they slick against the curve of his skull as he comes to realize at her words that she thinks she's to blame.

no, no! atausiq gives his head a shake, pressing his muzzle into the fur of her neck in an attempt to physically reassure before pulling back some to look at her. it's not your fault. it seems absurd to him, that leta would she think was the guilty party ...and yet she clearly does.

it's just ...— like with arlette, atausiq struggles to compose how he feels and put it into words. me. he admits, a bit lamely. i don't agree with what's been happening back home. leaving seemed like the only thing i could do. it didn't occur to him to challenge and even if it had: he was just a kid. it felt like the right thing to do. even if how he'd done it had been cowardly.

guilt twists like a serrated knife in his heart as she promises to be better and that she misses him. his chest aches and his breath comes from betwixt his lips; strangled. i miss you too. he assures her, diverting his gaze; hating that he's made her feel this way. you're the best sister, alright? don't ever doubt that. voice thick with emotion.

He was quick to reassure her, but words could only do so much to start. But when he withdrew, when he explained, Leta realized that he meant it. Leta's ears cupped forward as she realized what it was that made him go... and she could not help but feel a little surprised by it. And a little sad, too, that he thought that it was the best way to go about things. 

Leta hated confrontation, but she knew not how to avoid her feelings surfacing. The expression that was on her open-book features was one of confusion and uncertainty as she tried to understand. Uhm, so, she started, a little uncertainly; she looked to her paws, feeling hardly any more confident for it. But it helped a little. Uhm, I just feel like... she had to get it out. But she did not want to make him mad with her; she did not want him to run away as he already had. As Clay did, too. 

Please don't leave me yet, I'm... I mean that, you... could have talked to someone. Maybe that could have... made things different??? And if it didn't, then... then he had to do what he had to do. And she was not mad, just confused because, you left me and West... we didn't even know, but if we did, maybe we coulda done that, or something, not that Leta agreed necessarily, but she wanted to help her family work things out, not spread apart. Maybe West was unhappy too??? Maybe me??? No, not her, she was speaking in hypotheticals, but the point being, but I mean... well, how can anything change if we don't say anything about it?? She finally got out, her tangled thoughts on the floor as she peered to Newt to see if he understood. 

Still Leta was not mad; Leta loved him dearly. Leta just wanted to understand what he hoped for by leaving, and if he had really intended to just leave them behind along the way for good.

atausiq knows he deserves her chiding. as leta speaks she brings to the table good points — but points that arlette had already presented to him prior to his abrupt decision to leave. arlette told me the same thing. to say something. but are our parents gonna listen? should they? as far as atausiq can see ( and from very recent experience ) they were just kids in the eyes of adults ...what did they know, really? its treason to speak against our alphas. he points out, mouth twisting on the word as he reminds her that his feelings — and his trepidation at confronting their parents — wasn't exactly unwarranted.

i just ...i don't expect anyone to understand or to forgive me. i realize i don't deserve it anyway. but i gotta figure some things out. myself, mostly; and i can't do that if i'm watching over my shoulder scared that i'll be the next one exiled for disobedience. he hadn't know the woman their father had exiled but the ( seemingly ) rash choice had left him bothered more than he'd let on ...and he was be disobedient.

i'm doing okay. i found a pack to take me in for a while. atausiq tells her, mostly so she doesn't worry. 'pack' seemed a bit of a stretch. thus far neverwinter forest seems to be more of a collection of misfits; and though he's not a huge fan of the making fun of him, he has to remind himself that it's probably good for him. maybe they'd help him grow a backbone in time.

We need to give them the chance to, she defended quietly, and then, whatever happens from there, at least we can say we tried... it was the most coherent thought she was able to solidly express. Her hazel eyes looked back to him to see what he thought about that. But she quieted, knowing that it was not unwarranted, and moved to nose him. I just think maybe we can help. Help make things better. They're our parents, we should... we should give them that chance, right? She asked, pawing the earth as she looked to her foreleg. Right? 

Understand, sure, forgive, of course! Newt, if you think you need forgiveness, you have mine—but... what you did hurt. It's not the leaving, its that... You just left without a word. Like Clay. Remember how sad everyone was? She asked, that's how it is. We were all... confused. And me... I thought it was my fault. I just wish... I just wish you said something to at least West an' I, so we could tell mama, since his quarrel was with their father, it sounded, given it was his decree. Oh, she would also let their father know because, well, she knew his heart was sore too over it all. But Leta was perceptive enough to know that right now, pa was not a wolf he wanted to think of. 

As for disobedient? Leta snorted, quite unladylike, though the sound was far from condescending. She was feeling a little better now that they had talked things out, less anxious that he would just leave her here and now. Newt never struck her as that. In fact, Leta more often disobeyed their parents by sneaking out and looking at the stars when she was meant to be asleep... though she roped Newt in, when they were younger, when she did not care to be alone. She felt bad that she had not done so more while she had the time to... sad. 

Can uhm... can I visit you there? She asked then, a little nervous that he might refuse her that. How would she see him again then? This was chance, and she did not think he would wander back to Easthollow to say hello anytime soon. What are they like? She did feel better to think he was somewhere safe.

yeah, atausiq replies; noncommittal. it wasn't his place anymore to decide whether or not to give their parents a chance. he'd left and still on that path of self discovery. giving them a chance was on west and leta, now. i know, he scowls at the dirt at his paws, ears tapering back against his skull. he hadn't meant to hurt anyone but ...he hadn't been thinking about anyone else but himself, either. he hadn't thought about how it would hurt them when he just howled and disappeared into the shadows. it was selfish, he acknowledges aloud. and i was afraid that someone would try to stop me. almost as much as he'd been afraid to confront their parents.

it was only fair he deal with the consequences. leta was forgiving ...but so easily his name could be struck from the family tree for what he'd done. and he'd deserve it.

can i visit you there? to be torn so wholly in half is painful. he wants to say yes but also wants to say 'no'; and not for any reason than he doesn't want her to endure the same picking he has, and the whole point of donning 'atausiq' was to protect them ...which would be pointless if she can looking for him. sure. he croaks out, guiltily. uh, atausiq hesitates when she asks what they're like. they're ... he could lie and say they're wonderful but he just said that she could visit him and lying isn't something he likes to do.

...interesting. to be honest, they're sort of like a collection of misfits. not a group atausiq thought he'd ever see himself with, in truth. but here he was.

He wasn't wrong. Leta surely would have tried. Newt had already made up his own mind though. He had not given anyone the chance to. Too nonconfrontational to even contemplate responding to that, she just let it go. What could she do now? He was gone. He had made his decisions. And here they stood. She wasn't mad at him about it, not now that she knew he was okay. She hadn't been mad to begin wtih... just sad. Confused. 

His hesitation caused Leta's head to cock all the way to the right. They're what?! She was hooked. Misfits? Well, you're not a misfit, she said, head returning to its rightful place. Well, was she sure about that? Hm. Come to think of it, what's a misfit? because she could very well stand corrected. Leta was just happy she could go and visit him, honestly. D'you like 'em? He must, given he stayed there, right?

are you sure about that? he inquires of her with a small quirk of his lips that is far from an actual smile. he wasn't so sure himself. he couldn't give himself the credit of being the same boy he'd always been. who he was, who he wanted to be, who he had to be to survive ...it was all confusing and when he tried to grasp onto something it slipped from betwixt his teeth like smoke, leaving him to think that he wasn't meant to have the answers yet. trouble-makers. he responds simply.

did that not fit him? had he not broken his family's hearts? was he not that rebel kid, donned in a leather jacket, drawing on that cigarette from the pack he'd stolen from the general store on the street corner? troubadour cut hair slicked back with pomade and tucked beneath a newsboy cap, the peak glinting with sharp razor blades; switch blade tucked in the waistband of his jeans. the kinda boy that mothers warned their daughters away from.

d'you like 'em? because atausiq cannot lie to her, no matter how he thinks he should, he offers her a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders. some of them are alright, but he couldn't be expected to like or get along with everyone. i like the leader well enough. and for now, that was the most important thing.

When he responds, Leta cannot swallow the little giggle. You're so not a trouble-maker, Leta guffawed with a most unladylike snort, falling onto her hindquarters and slapping the earth with a paw. Not Newt! With the exception of this, he had always been behaved and good and, well, his interests were like her own. Were they to be people and classed in school, the two of them, as they had been at least, would be identified as nerds. Newt had shared in her enthusiasm once upon a time to look at the stars and learn all about everything... and she could not see that changing. They both were the sort that mothers, and fathers, thought nothing of. Harmless. 

Leta moved to nose him, grinning. I won't tell anyone that though. If I'm asked, I'll tell them you were the biggest troublemaker Easthollow has ever raised, she offered, gesturing in a "cross-my-heart" sort of way. He liked some of them, but at least he liked the leader. I'd love to them! she crowed, and then said, I can wait for that though. I'm actually alsooo out here to go visit Alya, and Nikai, our brother. Moonspear is over here! Have you gotten to see it yet?! she asked with a wave of her tail

leta protests his self-given title of 'misfit'. he can't help the soft scowl that tugs at the corners of his lips at her. clearly, their perceptions of him were quite different. night and day, really. and ...hadn't breaking the hearts of his family and running away from home something a misfit did? maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do, leta. he supplies for consideration; suspecting she will shoot that down too. her assurance of how she'll paint him doesn't exactly put his mind to ease; truth was, he was still nervous about her visiting him. nervous about how she would be treated.

no, he jumps upon the change of topic when it is offered to him, even though he has nothing to offer in the conversation. the truth? he hadn't even realized he was close to moonspear and that was simply because, again, he was being selfish.

His counterpoint wounded her, and silenced her, too. Her eyes seemed to, impossibly, increase in size; the thought alarmed her as much as it hurt her. Did he think that? ...was he right? Leta had kept to herself for a time after all; had he changed so much in the in-between? Did he think that being as he had been was a bad thing? Did that make the way that she was... the way she thought they both were... not good? 

He had gotten shorter now, and Leta realized she had offended him on top of it all (at least, her own interpretation of it). It made her shrink a little, because she had thought she and he so similar and he looked so disappointed in her perception of him that she wondered how he must really look at her. Her ears flattened atop her head as she felt less than all over again. 

Oh, she responded to all of it, voice watery. Oh, no, she thought, swallowing thick lumps in her throat. You're not a baby. Don't cry!!!! Her gaze shifted, and she blinked several times as though this would chase the tears that threatened to come away, her face (unbeknownst to her) scrunched up with the effort of it. Breathily she added, m-maybe not. But, the Newt I know... he was... he was always the coolest... to me... 

Another thick swallow. A sniffle. Grow up. No tears, not yet. And Leta did not want him to think of her as less than he already must. She cared very much so what her family thought of her. And wondered, for once, how she must look to the rest of the world. Blinking something fierce now, she still could not look at Newt or move for fear of the floodgates opening. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will. not. cry!!!

atausiq realizes, too late, that he's hurt her feelings. he sees it in her expression, hears it in the watery catch of her voice. he wants to apologize ...because leta's his sister and his love for her is fierce. he hates that he's hurting her, hate that he didn't mean to but now that he realizes he has, he thinks that pushing her away is the best thing. for her. his ears flutter back against his skull; at war. she put him on a pedestal that he does not deserve, he knows this.

i'm sorry, leta. it feels weak, not the words but because he offers her nothing to clarify and no intention to do so. he swallows thickly himself, holding his shoulders tight and tense.

I'm sorry, Leta, he says. 

The lack of clarification was, to her, all the clarifying she needed to justify the self-deprecating thoughts. Y-you think... we're... I'm... She couldn't get it out! Leta's eyes turned to him, look at the way he is sitting there. Tense, to himself, withdrawn now. You did that, she realized, stricken by it. 

That did it. A sob she tried to swallow came, and she shook her head. Why was he sorry? He shouldn't be sorry. He was just being honest. N-no, don't be, it's, she hiccuped. I get it, she wanted to say, even though she didn't. What was so wrong with the way they were? There had to be something, that he wanted to keep away from it now. To not be that way. She would not have him feel bad or guilty just because he didn't look at things the same way she did, or because he thought she wasn't cool, or whatever. He was her brother. 

Stop crying! Her tongue was heavy and she didn't know what to say. 'smyfault, she slurred sadly, tongue dragging over the words as she rushed to get them out. It's o-okay, she forgave readily, immediately. I musta missed more t-than... than she meant to. Than she had thought. Her own fault, she berated, unable to blame Newt in this. She drew her foreleg to her face to rub at her eyes, her nose, not wanting him to feel badly.